[Bandslash, FOB] The Patrick Stump Chronicles
Title: The Patrick Stump Chronicles
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Pete/Patrick
Genre: CRACK, AU
Word Count: ~ 4,100
Disclaimer: This is all completely made up, except for the part where these people actually exist.
Summary: Patrick doesn't take Pete seriously when he tells him he's from the future.
Notes: I don't know how to explain this one? It started with this, something scorpionvoices mentioned in a meme, and I really don't know what happened after that.
Patrick doesn't take Pete seriously when he tells him he's from the future. To be fair, Pete tells him when they're both running on several days of little to no sleep and more caffeine than is strictly healthy for anyone.
Also, there's the fact that Pete wraps his hands around Patrick's throat a few minutes later and tries to strangle him against a gas station pump when Patrick makes the mistake of questioning Pete's sanity.
====
====
Pete brings it up a few months later, the two of them sharing a tiny bed in a crappy little motel, too tired to sleep even though they have another endless day of driving ahead of them to get to another show.
"The future, Patrick," Pete mutters, words slurring together a little, muffled and indistinct with his face half-pushed into a pillow. "It's a hellhole. Seriously, you can't even imagine."
Patrick's laying on his back staring at the ceiling and wondering if he should be concerned that Pete hasn't let go of his time traveling adventures when Pete flops onto his side, arm going around Patrick's chest.
Pete makes a happy little sound and curls closer to Patrick, his breathing evening out into sleep while Patrick picks out patterns in the water stains on the ceiling.
====
====
After that things get a little crazy (crazier) and things pick up for them. One of those days Pete's talking to Patrick about this kid he met on Livejournal that he won't shut up about. And, Christ, Patrick just really does not want to deal with whatever the fallout's going to be from that.
"Jesus, Patrick. I need to go see him. Them."
Patrick doesn't really say anything about it then, or when Pete flies out to Las Vegas to hear the kid and his band, but he does feel worried when Pete comes back with a weird look on his face and starts staring at Patrick.
He doesn't stop staring, not even after they sign Panic and the kid Pete met on Livejournal becomes Ryan.
====
====
Patrick forgets about Pete's total lunatic time travel thing, and then Warped happens.
Patrick doesn't really remember how they meet Bob Bryar, he just knows that Pete freaks the hell out when they do.
Okay, no. It isn't like Pete freaks out, but. Pete freaks out.
Pete stares at Bob like he's looking at a ghost, or someone he fucked with somewhere along the line and thought Bob was the kind of guy who would hunt someone down to punch their stupid face in.
(Pete hadn't, and Bob wasn't. Usually.)
Pete hides on the bus when they aren't on stage for the first couple of days until he realizes Bob isn't even paying attention to him. At least not until Pete attaches himself to Mikey's side, and even then it's more that Bob's watching out for Mikey and less about Pete.
That doesn't stop Pete from being weird around Bob, and it sure as hell doesn't stop Pete from warning Patrick to avoid being left alone with Bob.
“He's. Just. Don't, okay?” Pete says, frowning and looking genuinely concerned, and Patrick doesn't have the heart to say no.
He punches him instead, but just a little.
“I'm not fucking five, Pete.” He really isn't, and he can take care of himself just fine. Bob's not even a scary guy, once you get past the part where he looks like he could take you apart with his bare hands. “Seriously, what is your problem with Bob?”
Pete rubs his chest where Patrick hit him, but he doesn't answer.
====
====
Pete keeps looking at Panic with something like confusion, until the thing with Brent, and then.
Patrick doesn't know what to call it, but the look on Pete's face when Ryan calls to tell him that Brent's out, is. He really doesn't know how to explain it, but Pete looks like things are starting to make some kind of sense, like all is right in his world again. And then he calls Ryan to suggest Jon Walker as a replacement bassist.
Pete goes right back to staring at Patrick after that, and it's just weird all around. He never says anything, he just stares like he's trying to fit the pieces of a puzzle together in his head, like he's trying to figure something out.
It's seriously freaking the hell out of Patrick because Joe and Andy don't know what's going on either, and that makes it worse somehow, that Pete isn't talking to them. To anyone.
“Seriously, Pete. What the hell?”
Pete doesn't answer him then, either.
====
====
Patrick doesn't know what happened, but somewhere in between Warped and when they go into the studio to record the new album Pete stops freaking out about Bob. Or maybe it's just that he stops freaking out about Patrick being left alone with Bob, like he finally realizes that Bob isn't actually a secret serial killer.
He still comes over as often as possible, or drags Patrick off to do shit when they aren't recording, but he's mostly fine with Patrick and Bob sharing a living space.
Which, really, it's not like Patrick needs Pete's blessing or whatever it is, but it makes things a hell of a lot easier on everyone all around.
====
====
Pete gets a kick out of movies involving time travel of any kind. Patrick thinks it might have something to do with all the crazy stuffed into Pete's head, which also might explain why Pete thinks he's from the future, but. He really, seriously finds those movies hilarious, which also means that there are an endless string of bad jokes and everything else Pete can think up.
So Patrick's not as surprised as he probably should be the day he's taking Penny for a walk around his neighborhood and Pete pulls up to the curb, tires screeching and throws the door open, holding his hand out like he honestly think Patrick's going to take it.
"Come with me if you want to live."
Patrick stares at Pete while Penny sniffs around his feet, tugging at the leash in her eagerness to get back home and her chew toys. She's used to loud noises, and Pete's complete and utter lack of sane by that point, so things like this don't even phase her.
Hemmy pokes his head out from behind the passenger seat, grinning a doggy grin at them and making happy whuffling sounds as he drools all over Pete's shoulder and outstretched arm.
Patrick shakes his head and keeps walking with Pete yelling at them, voice fading in the distance when they turn the corner.
====
====
Patrick leaves his front door unlocked when he gets home because he knows Pete.
He's getting out an extra water bowl for Hemmy when Pete walks into the kitchen, Hemmy trotting along at his side.
"That's just cold, Patrick. Your best friend in the entire world offers to save your life and you - “
"Okay, first? You're crazy," Patrick says, setting the water bowls down for the dogs as Hemmy comes over to investigate. "I mean, I've known that pretty much from the moment we met, but this. This is a whole new level of not sane. And secondly, save my life? From what? From who?”
Pete frowns when Patrick straightens, head tipped to the side. “Shouldn't that be 'whom'?”
Patrick stares at him for a long moment while Pete stares back, hands on his hips and Jesus Christ, why does Patrick's best friend have to be Pete fucking Wentz?
Patrick raises an eyebrow and Pete flings his hands up in the air like Patrick is being difficult.
"You never know!” Pete yells. "Rabid fans, the internet, killer robots from the future!”
Patrick pauses at that, something in Pete's voice jogging a memory and leans against the counter. “Oh, that's right. The future. Isn't that where you're from, Pete?"
Pete goggles at him and Patrick rolls his eyes, turning to dig through the fridge for something to eat. Enough for two, or, no, more like five with the way Pete eats sometimes, and when he turns around Pete's -
Pete's right the fuck there, in his face, breathing his air and it's. Pete does shit like that all the time, but usually not when he's telling Patrick he's trying to save his life, or that he's from the fucking future, and sure as hell not when Patrick has a handful of vegetables.
"Jesus! Pete, what the hell?"
"I told you about that?"
Patrick frowns and shoves the vegetables into Pete's stomach.
“Make yourself useful and wash those,” Patrick mutters, and turns back to get the rest of the ingredients. "And yes. Yes you did. Back when we were just getting the band together."
Pete makes a thoughtful little noise, but doesn't say anything else.
====
====
Patrick doesn't really believe Pete's from the future, but there are things that make him wonder.
Things like the stupid shit Pete gets up to, the things he does or gets others to do like jumping off roofs or drinking things no one in their right mind would. Most of the time it's Pete being a weird fucking guy, and kind of, no, okay, Pete really is an asshole, but.
There are times after he does whatever, or has whatever done to someone else when he gets this look on his face, almost as though he hadn't expected the outcome. Like he honestly hadn't known what would happen.
====
====
One day they're not really doing much, just hanging out and wasting time watching a stupid movie. Hemmy and Penny are snuggled up in a corner while Pete's laying on Patrick with his head in his lap, and really, Patrick doesn't get why this is normal, but he stopped questioning it a long time ago.
"So. The grandfather paradox."
Pete looks up at him and waits, like he was expecting Patrick to ask, like he knew it would happen sooner or later.
Patrick raises an eyebrow of his own because he's still not sure he believes Pete's from the future, not entirely at any rate, but.
“You know what? Never mind.” Patrick's not sure he wants to know, and the reading he'd done on the subject was just. God, he still gets a headache just thinking thinking about it.
Pete doesn't say anything for a moment, and then, just when Patrick thinks the whole thing's been forgotten, that they aren't going to get into it, Pete opens his mouth and fucks with Patrick's world view again.
“I'm not the only one,” Pete says, picking at the fringe of the blanket they're sharing.
Patrick blinks, not sure how to respond, but Pete keeps talking.
“I mean. It's not like people do it all the time or anything, but you know. It happens.” Pete shrugs, the way normal people do when they're talking about normal things like the weather or a movie they'd seen. Not fucking time travel and how apparently it's not an everyday thing in the future, but it's not completely unheard of either.
Christ.
Patrick's trying to remember if you're supposed to be crazy if you think you're crazy, or if it's that you're crazy because you don't think you're crazy. “Anyone I'd know?”
And the thing is, he's mostly kidding when he says it. Mostly, until Pete goes really, really still for a beat or two.
This dark little corner of Patrick's mind seems to have been waiting all this time for the rest of him to catch the hell up because the answer pops into his head like a goddamned cartoon light bulb going on.
“Pete.”
Pete shifts, like he's thinking of rolling off the couch and away from Patrick before Patrick gets pissed and dumps his ass on the floor. Patrick brings a hand down on Pete's side, fingers splayed, and applies just enough pressure to hold him in place.
“Pete.”
Pete makes a dismayed noise that sounds almost like a dying animal that jerks Hemmy and Penny awake, but Patrick doesn't let go. He jiggles his knee a little to let Pete know he's not going to let things slide this time, that he wants an answer.
“Bryar,” Pete spits out, looking up at Patrick to gauge his reaction.
Patrick doesn't say anything, he doesn't do anything while his brain kicks the name Pete gave him around for a little bit. He's not completely surprised, having already guessed who it was going to be, but there' s a difference between knowing and knowing.
“Bob,” Patrick says, just to make sure they're talking about the same person. “Bob Bryar.”
Pete throws the blanket aside and scrambles for the other end of couch in a spastic burst of energy like he's afraid Bob's going to show up out of nowhere like fucking Candyman or Beetlejuice. Or maybe he just knows that Patrick kind of wants to punch him. Just a little.
Patrick stares at Pete, at the way Pete's pressed up against the arm of the couch as if he thinks he can blend into the upholstery if he wills it hard enough. From the way Pete's hands are twitching, Patrick can tell that Pete either wants to hide under the blanket or pull the hood of his hoodie up.
“Bob's from the future,” Patrick says, and there's a part of his mind that's amazed at the way he sounds so calm, so normal, “just like you.”
Pete nods, eyes on Patrick. “Yes.”
“Okay.”
Pete fidgets, and there's something about it, something furtive that has Patrick's eyes narrowing.
“And Walker,” Pete throws out in a rush, and this time he actually does jerk his hood up and over the top of his head.
He pulls the drawstrings tight, which leaves Patrick staring at a tiny patch of skin and hair and Pete's stupid fucking eyes.
“Pete,” Patrick looks down at his hands because seriously, what is he supposed to do with all of this? Pete claims to be from the future, along with Bob and Jon, and Jesus Christ, how the hell is this Patrick's life again?
“Please tell me you didn't travel back in time to save the world.”
Patrick thinks he might be able to deal with Pete being from future as some kind of tourist, but he might have to hit something (Pete) if Pete tells him that he came back in time to save the world.
Not that he thinks Pete couldn't do it if he actually set his mind to it, and that's a scary thought in itself, contemplating all the things Pete could do if he really wanted to, it's just. Patrick would really like it if the movies didn't get it right just one more time.
If there can be space tourists Patrick really doesn't see why there can't be time travel tourists too. Not everyone has to go back in time to save the world.
(He's not even going to deal with the part where he's talking about time travel as if it's real.)
Pete makes a choking noise, and when Patrick looks up to make sure he's not actually choking, he sees Pete's, “I'm totally not laughing,” face which means he totally is laughing because Pete's a dick.
“I will kill you,” Patrick says, in a calm, even tone of voice. “I will kill you if you're fucking with me on this, Pete.”
He really will.
Pete's been trying to get him to believe that he's from the future for weeks now, only he's serious about it. He doesn't bring it up in casual conversation, and he doesn't beat Patrick over the head with it. He talks about it when it's just them. When no one one else is around to appreciate Patrick's reaction but Pete. And, okay, Pete's enough of a freak that Patrick can count Hemmy and Penny in there too.
“I didn't,” Pete stops to compose himself or something because he's still laughing. “I didn't travel back in time to save the world.”
Patrick's eyes narrow. “So why did you?”
Pete shrugs and looks down as Hemmy comes over to see what's going on, and then starts telling Patrick about his promising soccer career, gambling debts, his disappointed mother, and a job at a museum and how he saw his chance for a better life.
Patrick nods along and makes appropriate noises, waiting for Pete to reach a break in his tragic tale of woe. “Right, right,” he says, and leans a little closer to Pete. “So when you got here, did you join the Justice League right away, or did you have to wait a little bit for the paperwork to go through first?”
Pete freezes.
“Just for the record, I wasn't kidding about killing you.” Patrick really wasn't. “Pete, did you forget about Andy? Gerard? Everyone we know who reads comics?”
Patrick reads comics too, but he's not as into them as some of their friends. It doesn't mean he hasn't listened to them talk about them, sometimes for hours on end. It doesn't mean that he hasn't gone online to read about a character one of them talked about. It also doesn't mean that Patrick hasn't heard of Booster fucking Gold.
Patrick's. He's not angry, not really, but he's tired. Drained, like he sometimes feels when he's dealing with Pete and all of Pete's shit.
“Goodnight, Pete.”
Pete doesn't say anything.
====
====
Patrick wakes up when the mattress dips beside him and Penny makes an annoyed little whining sound, wriggling a little closer to him.
“There's no music,” Pete says quietly. “In the future, I mean. There's no music, Patrick.”
Patrick stares at his ceiling, not sure how to respond.
“There are all these albums and studio recordings, but it's like no one cares anymore. No one's out there making new music, or pushing boundaries, or anything. It's like everyone forgot how important music is.” Pete sounds frustrated, like he isn't getting what he wants to say across clearly. “I just. I guess I wanted to see what it was like when people still gave a damn.”
Patrick wants to ask what the hell Pete's talking about, or even what the hell he's on, but he knows. He can hear it in Pete's voice.
“So, what. You hopped in a time machine and went back in time to because you wanted to check out the music scene?”
Pete snorts, and rolls on his side to look at Patrick. “No. Well, maybe. It wasn't that easy.”
Patrick stares at the ceiling, wishing that there was something up there to hold his attention. A crack, or water stains maybe. Something he could use to justify not looking over at Pete.
“How does that even work?” Patrick asks, because seriously. How the hell does that even work?
“Like I know?” Pete reaches over and pokes Patrick's face. “I'm not a fucking scientist, Patrick.”
“Screw you.” Patrick's a little pissed at Pete for being from the future, and not having the fucking decency to know how time travel works.
Pete laughs, but it's a little off. He shifts around for a few minutes trying to get comfortable before flopping over onto his back and lacing his hands behind his head.
Penny whines again, and jumps off the bed, dog tags jingling.
“I think I annoyed her,” Pete says, as though he isn't annoying Patrick with his weird shit in the middle of the night.
“Yeah,” Patrick sighs. “I wonder what that's like?”
Pete kicks him for that, and Patrick kicks him back, harder, because he doesn't take that kind of shit even from Pete.
“Bob. Bob was. Okay, I know you still don't believe me, but Bob was like a cop, Patrick. There are all these rules about time travel, which, it's not like everyone does it because it's really fucking difficult to do, but there are rules.”
Patrick doesn't say anything, but Pete's reaction to Bob makes a hell of a lot more sense now.
“I thought he was going to, I don't know, tell you or something.” Pete sounds unhappy, confused. “I mean, it's not like the stupid movies where they erase your memories or whatever, but there are rules and shit. I thought Bob was here because of me, and I didn't want you - any of you guys - in the middle of that.”
Patrick turns his head to see Pete watching him.
“And Jon.” Pete makes a face and does a full body shrug. “You know, I don't even know why he did it? I was just some stupid college kid who got excited over a history class, but Jon? He had a lot going for him, but he did it too.”
“History class?”
Pete grins, wide and open and Patrick can't not smile back.
Pete raises his arms and does a whole series of bizarre and incomprehensible gestures as he pretty much fails to form complete sentences. “Oh, oh, Patrick. You would have loved it. It was a music history class, and it was. It was the only thing about college I loved. It was. I mean. God.”
“It was pretty amazing, huh?” Patrick says, and he's really smiling now because he's never been able to resist Pete when he gets like this.
Pete drops his hands onto his chest, grinning at Patrick's ceiling. “It was like being here, only this is so much better.”
Pete's smile softens as he looks at Patrick. “I like it here. I really, really like it here.”
“Okay?”
Pete rolls his eyes. “No, I mean I like it here. With you.”
Patrick doesn't know what to say to that, so he reaches out and wraps an arm around Pete, pulling him closer. It's not the best answer, but it's the only one he can give.
“Patrick - “
“Go to sleep.” Patrick's not completely sure what this, what any of it means, but he knows that it's not going anywhere. That it's still going to be there in the morning when they wake up, and probably longer than that.
====
====
The next time Bob's in town Patrick invites him out to lunch to this little place he knows where they won't be mobbed by fans or followed by the press.
Bob seems to realize something's up, but that might have something to do with the way Patrick's looking at him.
Patrick likes Bob and thinks he's a terrific drummer and an even better person, but Patrick has no qualms about taking him down if he has to. If Bob's there to - and this is how Patrick knows he's caught Pete's crazy - take Pete back or whatever it was Pete thought Bob was going to do, Patrick will do whatever he has to.
Pete is, at that very moment, supposed to be spending quality time with Joe and Andy. Patrick had insisted they were feeling a little bit left out, neglected, seeing as how Pete had pretty much moved into Patrick's house. He'd told Pete that they were very much sad and forlorn and no, Andy wasn't glaring, he was just trying to put up a brave front for Pete.
(Patrick's going to have to watch his back around Andy for the foreseeable future.)
“Why are you here?” Patrick's usually not so blunt or socially inept, but Pete's crazy has rubbed off on him and Patrick's kind of annoyed that it looks like Pete's paranoia is part of the deal too.
Bob looks at Patrick over the top of his menu and raises an eyebrow. “You invited me out to lunch,” he points out in a reasonable tone of voice.
Patrick smiles and nods because that much is true. “I mean, why are you here?”
Bob's eyes narrow, and yes, he still looks like he can tear people apart with his bare hands, but Patrick's seen Bob cuddle tiny dogs, and also. Bob's band.
Patrick can see the moment Bob realizes exactly what Patrick's asking because Bob grins, this huge slightly terrifying grin that Patrick's never seen before.
“I have no idea what you're talking about, Stump,” Bob says, leaning back in his chair.
Patrick could ask again, or he could push Bob until he gave a real answer, but Patrick doesn't really need to. He can see it in the easy way Bob's sitting, just watching Patrick with a fucking annoying smile playing at the corner of his mouth like he knows something Patrick doesn't.
Patrick sighs and shakes his head and washes his hands of the whole mess.
There's just one thing he needs to know if he's going to be able to sleep at night, even with Pete wrapped around him like a goddamned octopus.
“Pete's not here to save the world, right?”
Bob, the fucker, just laughs.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Pete/Patrick
Genre: CRACK, AU
Word Count: ~ 4,100
Disclaimer: This is all completely made up, except for the part where these people actually exist.
Summary: Patrick doesn't take Pete seriously when he tells him he's from the future.
Notes: I don't know how to explain this one? It started with this, something scorpionvoices mentioned in a meme, and I really don't know what happened after that.
Patrick doesn't take Pete seriously when he tells him he's from the future. To be fair, Pete tells him when they're both running on several days of little to no sleep and more caffeine than is strictly healthy for anyone.
Also, there's the fact that Pete wraps his hands around Patrick's throat a few minutes later and tries to strangle him against a gas station pump when Patrick makes the mistake of questioning Pete's sanity.
====
====
Pete brings it up a few months later, the two of them sharing a tiny bed in a crappy little motel, too tired to sleep even though they have another endless day of driving ahead of them to get to another show.
"The future, Patrick," Pete mutters, words slurring together a little, muffled and indistinct with his face half-pushed into a pillow. "It's a hellhole. Seriously, you can't even imagine."
Patrick's laying on his back staring at the ceiling and wondering if he should be concerned that Pete hasn't let go of his time traveling adventures when Pete flops onto his side, arm going around Patrick's chest.
Pete makes a happy little sound and curls closer to Patrick, his breathing evening out into sleep while Patrick picks out patterns in the water stains on the ceiling.
====
====
After that things get a little crazy (crazier) and things pick up for them. One of those days Pete's talking to Patrick about this kid he met on Livejournal that he won't shut up about. And, Christ, Patrick just really does not want to deal with whatever the fallout's going to be from that.
"Jesus, Patrick. I need to go see him. Them."
Patrick doesn't really say anything about it then, or when Pete flies out to Las Vegas to hear the kid and his band, but he does feel worried when Pete comes back with a weird look on his face and starts staring at Patrick.
He doesn't stop staring, not even after they sign Panic and the kid Pete met on Livejournal becomes Ryan.
====
====
Patrick forgets about Pete's total lunatic time travel thing, and then Warped happens.
Patrick doesn't really remember how they meet Bob Bryar, he just knows that Pete freaks the hell out when they do.
Okay, no. It isn't like Pete freaks out, but. Pete freaks out.
Pete stares at Bob like he's looking at a ghost, or someone he fucked with somewhere along the line and thought Bob was the kind of guy who would hunt someone down to punch their stupid face in.
(Pete hadn't, and Bob wasn't. Usually.)
Pete hides on the bus when they aren't on stage for the first couple of days until he realizes Bob isn't even paying attention to him. At least not until Pete attaches himself to Mikey's side, and even then it's more that Bob's watching out for Mikey and less about Pete.
That doesn't stop Pete from being weird around Bob, and it sure as hell doesn't stop Pete from warning Patrick to avoid being left alone with Bob.
“He's. Just. Don't, okay?” Pete says, frowning and looking genuinely concerned, and Patrick doesn't have the heart to say no.
He punches him instead, but just a little.
“I'm not fucking five, Pete.” He really isn't, and he can take care of himself just fine. Bob's not even a scary guy, once you get past the part where he looks like he could take you apart with his bare hands. “Seriously, what is your problem with Bob?”
Pete rubs his chest where Patrick hit him, but he doesn't answer.
====
====
Pete keeps looking at Panic with something like confusion, until the thing with Brent, and then.
Patrick doesn't know what to call it, but the look on Pete's face when Ryan calls to tell him that Brent's out, is. He really doesn't know how to explain it, but Pete looks like things are starting to make some kind of sense, like all is right in his world again. And then he calls Ryan to suggest Jon Walker as a replacement bassist.
Pete goes right back to staring at Patrick after that, and it's just weird all around. He never says anything, he just stares like he's trying to fit the pieces of a puzzle together in his head, like he's trying to figure something out.
It's seriously freaking the hell out of Patrick because Joe and Andy don't know what's going on either, and that makes it worse somehow, that Pete isn't talking to them. To anyone.
“Seriously, Pete. What the hell?”
Pete doesn't answer him then, either.
====
====
Patrick doesn't know what happened, but somewhere in between Warped and when they go into the studio to record the new album Pete stops freaking out about Bob. Or maybe it's just that he stops freaking out about Patrick being left alone with Bob, like he finally realizes that Bob isn't actually a secret serial killer.
He still comes over as often as possible, or drags Patrick off to do shit when they aren't recording, but he's mostly fine with Patrick and Bob sharing a living space.
Which, really, it's not like Patrick needs Pete's blessing or whatever it is, but it makes things a hell of a lot easier on everyone all around.
====
====
Pete gets a kick out of movies involving time travel of any kind. Patrick thinks it might have something to do with all the crazy stuffed into Pete's head, which also might explain why Pete thinks he's from the future, but. He really, seriously finds those movies hilarious, which also means that there are an endless string of bad jokes and everything else Pete can think up.
So Patrick's not as surprised as he probably should be the day he's taking Penny for a walk around his neighborhood and Pete pulls up to the curb, tires screeching and throws the door open, holding his hand out like he honestly think Patrick's going to take it.
"Come with me if you want to live."
Patrick stares at Pete while Penny sniffs around his feet, tugging at the leash in her eagerness to get back home and her chew toys. She's used to loud noises, and Pete's complete and utter lack of sane by that point, so things like this don't even phase her.
Hemmy pokes his head out from behind the passenger seat, grinning a doggy grin at them and making happy whuffling sounds as he drools all over Pete's shoulder and outstretched arm.
Patrick shakes his head and keeps walking with Pete yelling at them, voice fading in the distance when they turn the corner.
====
====
Patrick leaves his front door unlocked when he gets home because he knows Pete.
He's getting out an extra water bowl for Hemmy when Pete walks into the kitchen, Hemmy trotting along at his side.
"That's just cold, Patrick. Your best friend in the entire world offers to save your life and you - “
"Okay, first? You're crazy," Patrick says, setting the water bowls down for the dogs as Hemmy comes over to investigate. "I mean, I've known that pretty much from the moment we met, but this. This is a whole new level of not sane. And secondly, save my life? From what? From who?”
Pete frowns when Patrick straightens, head tipped to the side. “Shouldn't that be 'whom'?”
Patrick stares at him for a long moment while Pete stares back, hands on his hips and Jesus Christ, why does Patrick's best friend have to be Pete fucking Wentz?
Patrick raises an eyebrow and Pete flings his hands up in the air like Patrick is being difficult.
"You never know!” Pete yells. "Rabid fans, the internet, killer robots from the future!”
Patrick pauses at that, something in Pete's voice jogging a memory and leans against the counter. “Oh, that's right. The future. Isn't that where you're from, Pete?"
Pete goggles at him and Patrick rolls his eyes, turning to dig through the fridge for something to eat. Enough for two, or, no, more like five with the way Pete eats sometimes, and when he turns around Pete's -
Pete's right the fuck there, in his face, breathing his air and it's. Pete does shit like that all the time, but usually not when he's telling Patrick he's trying to save his life, or that he's from the fucking future, and sure as hell not when Patrick has a handful of vegetables.
"Jesus! Pete, what the hell?"
"I told you about that?"
Patrick frowns and shoves the vegetables into Pete's stomach.
“Make yourself useful and wash those,” Patrick mutters, and turns back to get the rest of the ingredients. "And yes. Yes you did. Back when we were just getting the band together."
Pete makes a thoughtful little noise, but doesn't say anything else.
====
====
Patrick doesn't really believe Pete's from the future, but there are things that make him wonder.
Things like the stupid shit Pete gets up to, the things he does or gets others to do like jumping off roofs or drinking things no one in their right mind would. Most of the time it's Pete being a weird fucking guy, and kind of, no, okay, Pete really is an asshole, but.
There are times after he does whatever, or has whatever done to someone else when he gets this look on his face, almost as though he hadn't expected the outcome. Like he honestly hadn't known what would happen.
====
====
One day they're not really doing much, just hanging out and wasting time watching a stupid movie. Hemmy and Penny are snuggled up in a corner while Pete's laying on Patrick with his head in his lap, and really, Patrick doesn't get why this is normal, but he stopped questioning it a long time ago.
"So. The grandfather paradox."
Pete looks up at him and waits, like he was expecting Patrick to ask, like he knew it would happen sooner or later.
Patrick raises an eyebrow of his own because he's still not sure he believes Pete's from the future, not entirely at any rate, but.
“You know what? Never mind.” Patrick's not sure he wants to know, and the reading he'd done on the subject was just. God, he still gets a headache just thinking thinking about it.
Pete doesn't say anything for a moment, and then, just when Patrick thinks the whole thing's been forgotten, that they aren't going to get into it, Pete opens his mouth and fucks with Patrick's world view again.
“I'm not the only one,” Pete says, picking at the fringe of the blanket they're sharing.
Patrick blinks, not sure how to respond, but Pete keeps talking.
“I mean. It's not like people do it all the time or anything, but you know. It happens.” Pete shrugs, the way normal people do when they're talking about normal things like the weather or a movie they'd seen. Not fucking time travel and how apparently it's not an everyday thing in the future, but it's not completely unheard of either.
Christ.
Patrick's trying to remember if you're supposed to be crazy if you think you're crazy, or if it's that you're crazy because you don't think you're crazy. “Anyone I'd know?”
And the thing is, he's mostly kidding when he says it. Mostly, until Pete goes really, really still for a beat or two.
This dark little corner of Patrick's mind seems to have been waiting all this time for the rest of him to catch the hell up because the answer pops into his head like a goddamned cartoon light bulb going on.
“Pete.”
Pete shifts, like he's thinking of rolling off the couch and away from Patrick before Patrick gets pissed and dumps his ass on the floor. Patrick brings a hand down on Pete's side, fingers splayed, and applies just enough pressure to hold him in place.
“Pete.”
Pete makes a dismayed noise that sounds almost like a dying animal that jerks Hemmy and Penny awake, but Patrick doesn't let go. He jiggles his knee a little to let Pete know he's not going to let things slide this time, that he wants an answer.
“Bryar,” Pete spits out, looking up at Patrick to gauge his reaction.
Patrick doesn't say anything, he doesn't do anything while his brain kicks the name Pete gave him around for a little bit. He's not completely surprised, having already guessed who it was going to be, but there' s a difference between knowing and knowing.
“Bob,” Patrick says, just to make sure they're talking about the same person. “Bob Bryar.”
Pete throws the blanket aside and scrambles for the other end of couch in a spastic burst of energy like he's afraid Bob's going to show up out of nowhere like fucking Candyman or Beetlejuice. Or maybe he just knows that Patrick kind of wants to punch him. Just a little.
Patrick stares at Pete, at the way Pete's pressed up against the arm of the couch as if he thinks he can blend into the upholstery if he wills it hard enough. From the way Pete's hands are twitching, Patrick can tell that Pete either wants to hide under the blanket or pull the hood of his hoodie up.
“Bob's from the future,” Patrick says, and there's a part of his mind that's amazed at the way he sounds so calm, so normal, “just like you.”
Pete nods, eyes on Patrick. “Yes.”
“Okay.”
Pete fidgets, and there's something about it, something furtive that has Patrick's eyes narrowing.
“And Walker,” Pete throws out in a rush, and this time he actually does jerk his hood up and over the top of his head.
He pulls the drawstrings tight, which leaves Patrick staring at a tiny patch of skin and hair and Pete's stupid fucking eyes.
“Pete,” Patrick looks down at his hands because seriously, what is he supposed to do with all of this? Pete claims to be from the future, along with Bob and Jon, and Jesus Christ, how the hell is this Patrick's life again?
“Please tell me you didn't travel back in time to save the world.”
Patrick thinks he might be able to deal with Pete being from future as some kind of tourist, but he might have to hit something (Pete) if Pete tells him that he came back in time to save the world.
Not that he thinks Pete couldn't do it if he actually set his mind to it, and that's a scary thought in itself, contemplating all the things Pete could do if he really wanted to, it's just. Patrick would really like it if the movies didn't get it right just one more time.
If there can be space tourists Patrick really doesn't see why there can't be time travel tourists too. Not everyone has to go back in time to save the world.
(He's not even going to deal with the part where he's talking about time travel as if it's real.)
Pete makes a choking noise, and when Patrick looks up to make sure he's not actually choking, he sees Pete's, “I'm totally not laughing,” face which means he totally is laughing because Pete's a dick.
“I will kill you,” Patrick says, in a calm, even tone of voice. “I will kill you if you're fucking with me on this, Pete.”
He really will.
Pete's been trying to get him to believe that he's from the future for weeks now, only he's serious about it. He doesn't bring it up in casual conversation, and he doesn't beat Patrick over the head with it. He talks about it when it's just them. When no one one else is around to appreciate Patrick's reaction but Pete. And, okay, Pete's enough of a freak that Patrick can count Hemmy and Penny in there too.
“I didn't,” Pete stops to compose himself or something because he's still laughing. “I didn't travel back in time to save the world.”
Patrick's eyes narrow. “So why did you?”
Pete shrugs and looks down as Hemmy comes over to see what's going on, and then starts telling Patrick about his promising soccer career, gambling debts, his disappointed mother, and a job at a museum and how he saw his chance for a better life.
Patrick nods along and makes appropriate noises, waiting for Pete to reach a break in his tragic tale of woe. “Right, right,” he says, and leans a little closer to Pete. “So when you got here, did you join the Justice League right away, or did you have to wait a little bit for the paperwork to go through first?”
Pete freezes.
“Just for the record, I wasn't kidding about killing you.” Patrick really wasn't. “Pete, did you forget about Andy? Gerard? Everyone we know who reads comics?”
Patrick reads comics too, but he's not as into them as some of their friends. It doesn't mean he hasn't listened to them talk about them, sometimes for hours on end. It doesn't mean that he hasn't gone online to read about a character one of them talked about. It also doesn't mean that Patrick hasn't heard of Booster fucking Gold.
Patrick's. He's not angry, not really, but he's tired. Drained, like he sometimes feels when he's dealing with Pete and all of Pete's shit.
“Goodnight, Pete.”
Pete doesn't say anything.
====
====
Patrick wakes up when the mattress dips beside him and Penny makes an annoyed little whining sound, wriggling a little closer to him.
“There's no music,” Pete says quietly. “In the future, I mean. There's no music, Patrick.”
Patrick stares at his ceiling, not sure how to respond.
“There are all these albums and studio recordings, but it's like no one cares anymore. No one's out there making new music, or pushing boundaries, or anything. It's like everyone forgot how important music is.” Pete sounds frustrated, like he isn't getting what he wants to say across clearly. “I just. I guess I wanted to see what it was like when people still gave a damn.”
Patrick wants to ask what the hell Pete's talking about, or even what the hell he's on, but he knows. He can hear it in Pete's voice.
“So, what. You hopped in a time machine and went back in time to because you wanted to check out the music scene?”
Pete snorts, and rolls on his side to look at Patrick. “No. Well, maybe. It wasn't that easy.”
Patrick stares at the ceiling, wishing that there was something up there to hold his attention. A crack, or water stains maybe. Something he could use to justify not looking over at Pete.
“How does that even work?” Patrick asks, because seriously. How the hell does that even work?
“Like I know?” Pete reaches over and pokes Patrick's face. “I'm not a fucking scientist, Patrick.”
“Screw you.” Patrick's a little pissed at Pete for being from the future, and not having the fucking decency to know how time travel works.
Pete laughs, but it's a little off. He shifts around for a few minutes trying to get comfortable before flopping over onto his back and lacing his hands behind his head.
Penny whines again, and jumps off the bed, dog tags jingling.
“I think I annoyed her,” Pete says, as though he isn't annoying Patrick with his weird shit in the middle of the night.
“Yeah,” Patrick sighs. “I wonder what that's like?”
Pete kicks him for that, and Patrick kicks him back, harder, because he doesn't take that kind of shit even from Pete.
“Bob. Bob was. Okay, I know you still don't believe me, but Bob was like a cop, Patrick. There are all these rules about time travel, which, it's not like everyone does it because it's really fucking difficult to do, but there are rules.”
Patrick doesn't say anything, but Pete's reaction to Bob makes a hell of a lot more sense now.
“I thought he was going to, I don't know, tell you or something.” Pete sounds unhappy, confused. “I mean, it's not like the stupid movies where they erase your memories or whatever, but there are rules and shit. I thought Bob was here because of me, and I didn't want you - any of you guys - in the middle of that.”
Patrick turns his head to see Pete watching him.
“And Jon.” Pete makes a face and does a full body shrug. “You know, I don't even know why he did it? I was just some stupid college kid who got excited over a history class, but Jon? He had a lot going for him, but he did it too.”
“History class?”
Pete grins, wide and open and Patrick can't not smile back.
Pete raises his arms and does a whole series of bizarre and incomprehensible gestures as he pretty much fails to form complete sentences. “Oh, oh, Patrick. You would have loved it. It was a music history class, and it was. It was the only thing about college I loved. It was. I mean. God.”
“It was pretty amazing, huh?” Patrick says, and he's really smiling now because he's never been able to resist Pete when he gets like this.
Pete drops his hands onto his chest, grinning at Patrick's ceiling. “It was like being here, only this is so much better.”
Pete's smile softens as he looks at Patrick. “I like it here. I really, really like it here.”
“Okay?”
Pete rolls his eyes. “No, I mean I like it here. With you.”
Patrick doesn't know what to say to that, so he reaches out and wraps an arm around Pete, pulling him closer. It's not the best answer, but it's the only one he can give.
“Patrick - “
“Go to sleep.” Patrick's not completely sure what this, what any of it means, but he knows that it's not going anywhere. That it's still going to be there in the morning when they wake up, and probably longer than that.
====
====
The next time Bob's in town Patrick invites him out to lunch to this little place he knows where they won't be mobbed by fans or followed by the press.
Bob seems to realize something's up, but that might have something to do with the way Patrick's looking at him.
Patrick likes Bob and thinks he's a terrific drummer and an even better person, but Patrick has no qualms about taking him down if he has to. If Bob's there to - and this is how Patrick knows he's caught Pete's crazy - take Pete back or whatever it was Pete thought Bob was going to do, Patrick will do whatever he has to.
Pete is, at that very moment, supposed to be spending quality time with Joe and Andy. Patrick had insisted they were feeling a little bit left out, neglected, seeing as how Pete had pretty much moved into Patrick's house. He'd told Pete that they were very much sad and forlorn and no, Andy wasn't glaring, he was just trying to put up a brave front for Pete.
(Patrick's going to have to watch his back around Andy for the foreseeable future.)
“Why are you here?” Patrick's usually not so blunt or socially inept, but Pete's crazy has rubbed off on him and Patrick's kind of annoyed that it looks like Pete's paranoia is part of the deal too.
Bob looks at Patrick over the top of his menu and raises an eyebrow. “You invited me out to lunch,” he points out in a reasonable tone of voice.
Patrick smiles and nods because that much is true. “I mean, why are you here?”
Bob's eyes narrow, and yes, he still looks like he can tear people apart with his bare hands, but Patrick's seen Bob cuddle tiny dogs, and also. Bob's band.
Patrick can see the moment Bob realizes exactly what Patrick's asking because Bob grins, this huge slightly terrifying grin that Patrick's never seen before.
“I have no idea what you're talking about, Stump,” Bob says, leaning back in his chair.
Patrick could ask again, or he could push Bob until he gave a real answer, but Patrick doesn't really need to. He can see it in the easy way Bob's sitting, just watching Patrick with a fucking annoying smile playing at the corner of his mouth like he knows something Patrick doesn't.
Patrick sighs and shakes his head and washes his hands of the whole mess.
There's just one thing he needs to know if he's going to be able to sleep at night, even with Pete wrapped around him like a goddamned octopus.
“Pete's not here to save the world, right?”
Bob, the fucker, just laughs.