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I wish I knew where my place was in life. I don't feel like I belong anywhere... not anywhere for a job, not with my friends anymore, and even not really with my family. The only place I truly know I belong is with Adam. It sounds so stupid, I know, but I feel like a guest in my own house & and outsider with all my friends. But I'm not going to make this entry all about me feeling sorry for myself. On to better things...
Things for the wedding are coming along quite well. Except for the whole money part... but if there's one thing that hasn't been easy for me since I was 8 (when my parents got divorced), that's money... so it's nothing new. The bridesmaid dresses came in and they are absolutely gorgeous!! I was nervous because the dress shop only has a sample dress that was in silver but I had to just order them without ever seeing what they look like in royal blue. But they look great! I'm so excited. We got our invitations ordered too so we're just waiting for them to come in. They have a pearly snowflake border, since that's kinda the theme we're going for. I got my flowers all ordered too--my bouquet is 18 white roses w/4 gardenias and some mistletoe, and they're going to put royal blue crystals in the center of a few of the roses. Adam's boutinerre will be a white rose with mistletoe. I decided to add the mistletoe because Adam's parents have it up yearround because it's too high to take it down, so whenever I feel like Adam isn't paying attention to me or I just want to be silly, I run and stand under the mistletoe because then he knows he has to come kiss me. So it's kind of a cute little inside joke for us. Adam and I also picked out our wedding bands a couple weeks ago. We went just to look, but I totally got sold and we ended up buying them that night... but for a really good reason. Ok, for those of you who haven't seen it, my engagement ring is white gold with a princess cut diamond in the middle, 2 smaller diamonds on the side, and then 3 diamonds set into the band on both sides. So I started looking at white gold bands that had 10 princess cut diamonds set into the band that lined up w/the ones on my engagement ring. But the diamonds on the wedding bands I was looking at looked almost yellow next to the ones of my engagement ring. So the lady looked at my ring and said that the diamonds in my e-ring were actually platinum quality that aren't usually in a white gold setting. So she took me over to the "Internationally Certified Colorless & Flawless" section and pulled out the perfect band for me. It has 10 princess cut diamonds in a platinum band. I was worried the platinum would look different next to my white gold e-ring, but they look exactly the same. The lady said that because they were colorless & flawless, that since it was the only one it couldn't be guaranteed that it would still be there even 1 day later and wouldn't be able to know if another one that matched would come in. So after a discussion w/Adam over dinner and a trip back to Jared, we ended up going home w/my perfect (and a little expensive) wedding band. They had to order his in his size, which they said would take about 2.5 months, but it only took about 3 weeks because it came in last week. They totally manipulated us... but that's ok because we got what we wanted.
Well I'll have to update more later... my kitty is crying for me to go to sleep.