David Letterman:

"I'm walking to work up Sixth Avenue and it's a lovely spring day and I see one of those mime performers. So the mime is doing that famous routine where he's pretending to be trapped in a box. So I stand there and watch the mime pretend to be trapped in a box. And he finishes up, and, thank God, he wasn't really trapped in a box. ( Read more... )

quote of the day, the late Dr. Adrian Rogers (1931-2005) offered the following observation several years ago and it bears poignant significance today:

"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the rich out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot ( Read more... )

Become the peace you want the world to be.

How many people do you personally know who could stand to be subjected to reading this when they wake up every morning?

Good thoughts to live by.

This version, however, is without the damn adorable baby pictures that accompanied each quote.  Some didn't translate over from the forward from my work email.

If I want my dreams to come true, I mustn't oversleep.

Of all the things I wear, my expression is the most important.

The best vitamin for making friends: B-1.

The ( Read more... )

TEN THINGS TO PONDER FOR 2008

10. Life is sexually transmitted.

9. Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.

8. Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

6 ( Read more... )

"I saw a homeless guy sitting on the sidewalk, yammering to himself, and repeatedly punctuating his remarks with, "You know what I'm sayin'?  You know what I'm sayin'?"  And I thought, For God's sake, the man is talking to himself!  If he doesn't know what he's saying, who would?

"Life is simple: Your happiness will be based completely on luck and genetics.  Everything comes down to luck and genetics.  And when you think about it, even your genetics is luck."

"I have an impersonal trainer.  We meet at the gym, we don't talk, he works out alone, and I go home."

"Just because you don't have a lot of money to spend is no reason you shouldn't spend what little you have."

Yea, I've done that.

"I'm not a person who thinks he can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and guile I should be able to have more than my fair share."