historical detours and psychological tropes
The desire to change is strong. Yet as someone has pointed out: certain classes of people are resistant to change despite not liking the current state of affairs. But is anything ever static? The constant flux of life requires a delicate analysis of the past, a past that is oft misinterpreted as the future. One may recall any analysis of such distortions. my personal experience turns to Orwell and an essay he wrote about history and his memories of World War I. To the insular British at home, the trenches were merely a small line on a map that moved every so slightly back and forth as the days progressed. It meant nothing, as there was no connection, on this brief memory and recollection of an arbitrary line that seemed to do nothing, just like the war.
My historical interests cluster around 2 moments in time I feel to be so Earth shattering. They are my personal tropes. And one of them, yes, is World War I. It was destructive and that moving line metaphor that at the time seemed to move slightly but years later Orwell reflected on a line that didn't budge. The telescopic dialectic, if you will. As my mind frames it, the big picture versus the details.
The other trope is 1980 and its destructive legacy in American politics. This trope seems all the more relevant these days given the current political landscape. I digress.
The purpose of this entry is unclear. It was not meant to be a pedantic exercise in historical interests, nor was it meant to be vague and elusive. I wanted to get real, but instead took my usual 20th century detour.
Yesterday was an emotional day. It would have been grandmother's 87th birthday. I saw the film Norwegian Wood, which is based on the Haruki Murakami. It was seen with Wes and followed up by Mexican food. We went to El Rosal where I ate mole, grandmother's favorite dish. That was followed up with 2 meetings, both of which stirred anger within me.
My fears are many. I am doing my best to live and let go. I am doing my best to be expressive and mature about it. It gets easier, day by day, but it would be a lie to say it is all peaches and cream. I'm really not sure what it is, but I do know that I like it. I like being able to feel again.
My historical interests cluster around 2 moments in time I feel to be so Earth shattering. They are my personal tropes. And one of them, yes, is World War I. It was destructive and that moving line metaphor that at the time seemed to move slightly but years later Orwell reflected on a line that didn't budge. The telescopic dialectic, if you will. As my mind frames it, the big picture versus the details.
The other trope is 1980 and its destructive legacy in American politics. This trope seems all the more relevant these days given the current political landscape. I digress.
The purpose of this entry is unclear. It was not meant to be a pedantic exercise in historical interests, nor was it meant to be vague and elusive. I wanted to get real, but instead took my usual 20th century detour.
Yesterday was an emotional day. It would have been grandmother's 87th birthday. I saw the film Norwegian Wood, which is based on the Haruki Murakami. It was seen with Wes and followed up by Mexican food. We went to El Rosal where I ate mole, grandmother's favorite dish. That was followed up with 2 meetings, both of which stirred anger within me.
My fears are many. I am doing my best to live and let go. I am doing my best to be expressive and mature about it. It gets easier, day by day, but it would be a lie to say it is all peaches and cream. I'm really not sure what it is, but I do know that I like it. I like being able to feel again.