99 days
Today is my 99th day of sobriety. While I know I can manage to continue to stay sober, I worry about my sobriety a lot. I have never been this sober for this long. Also, I have not been to a meeting since Tuesday.
I only mention this because, with tomorrow being day 100 --a milestone, for sure-- I have been thinking about alcohol a bit more. No, I haven't had cravings. Alcohol is on my mind because I've been reading Augusten Burroughs' Dry (2003). On a related note, I was very proud of myself yesterday for not buying a candy bar and for not eating a doughnut while I was at the doughnut shop. It all felt very good, very comforting.
If the worst thing in my life right now is that I'm smoking cigarettes, well, I've got considerably fewer worries than I did this time last year. I mean, sure, finances are still a bit messy, but they're nowhere near as bad. It is also true that I have had some social difficulties lately (which I've written about extensively for the past month), but even those arn't as bad as things have been in the past.
I suppose my point, to continue on something I hinted at in my earlier entry from today, is that progress --whatever that many mean, whatever that may entail --is actually happening. True, there have been setbacks. There are always setbacks, because, as I've repeated over and over in this journal, progress is NOT linear. That, I sincerely believe, is one of the worst concepts that emerged from the Enlightenment. It casts a huge specter on human history.
I suppose I also feel this way because I've been reading Mad as Hell (2011) by Dominic Sandbrook, a history of the 1970s in America. We really do live in an age of limits. Things do have to change.
I'm just glad I'm not just paying lip-service to the notion of change and progress anymore. Again, there is always much to be done and once more, I feel confident that it can and will be done.
I only mention this because, with tomorrow being day 100 --a milestone, for sure-- I have been thinking about alcohol a bit more. No, I haven't had cravings. Alcohol is on my mind because I've been reading Augusten Burroughs' Dry (2003). On a related note, I was very proud of myself yesterday for not buying a candy bar and for not eating a doughnut while I was at the doughnut shop. It all felt very good, very comforting.
If the worst thing in my life right now is that I'm smoking cigarettes, well, I've got considerably fewer worries than I did this time last year. I mean, sure, finances are still a bit messy, but they're nowhere near as bad. It is also true that I have had some social difficulties lately (which I've written about extensively for the past month), but even those arn't as bad as things have been in the past.
I suppose my point, to continue on something I hinted at in my earlier entry from today, is that progress --whatever that many mean, whatever that may entail --is actually happening. True, there have been setbacks. There are always setbacks, because, as I've repeated over and over in this journal, progress is NOT linear. That, I sincerely believe, is one of the worst concepts that emerged from the Enlightenment. It casts a huge specter on human history.
I suppose I also feel this way because I've been reading Mad as Hell (2011) by Dominic Sandbrook, a history of the 1970s in America. We really do live in an age of limits. Things do have to change.
I'm just glad I'm not just paying lip-service to the notion of change and progress anymore. Again, there is always much to be done and once more, I feel confident that it can and will be done.