you don't know what it's like, baby you don't know what it's like...
As usual, I am filled with self-hatred and loathing. I really wish I had some constructive way of dealing with any of these emotions, but I don't know how.
Today is day 92.
I'm listening to Mellon Collie era Smashing Pumpkins, but not the singles.
Ever since a bout of insomnia Tuesday night, I've had a hard time waking up. I don't know what's caused it, really. I just, I have such a hard time waking up. I'm clearly depressed. But was I ever otherwise?
So much of life feels quite awful. My eyes are constantly tired. Time passes, and I have no record of having done anything constructive with it.
I worry so much about relapsing.
There's too much on my mind,
And there's nothing I can do about it, about it...
Today is day 92.
I'm listening to Mellon Collie era Smashing Pumpkins, but not the singles.
Ever since a bout of insomnia Tuesday night, I've had a hard time waking up. I don't know what's caused it, really. I just, I have such a hard time waking up. I'm clearly depressed. But was I ever otherwise?
So much of life feels quite awful. My eyes are constantly tired. Time passes, and I have no record of having done anything constructive with it.
I worry so much about relapsing.
There's too much on my mind,
And there's nothing I can do about it, about it...