essentially, basically
Thoughts are constantly running through my mind --which is good because, at the very least, it indicates that I am alive. It is a great pleasure and privilege to enjoy all this pain and suffering; it is a great pleasure and privilege to enjoy all this joy and happiness. In the end, however, it is all a fleeting mess.
While I was in the bathroom a few moments ago, I began pondering what it was that I would write here and how I would go about expressing any of it in a coherent manner. I am not sure I'm able to express it or even if I'm able to express it coherently. I am certain, however, that whatever I write here, I will promptly forget.
I am good at forgetting.
Other times, however, I can be at least nominally decent at remembering. Right now, I remember many of the promises I made to myself around 2003 and 2004. Chief among them, that whatever I did in college, if I should find myself back in Modesto after graduation, that I would try to resume where I left off. I have much unfinished business, including this whole Catholicism thing. Though I believe faith must be manifested outward, I also am of the belief that faith & spirituality are chiefly private concerns.
I have been thinking about contrasting elements a lot lately. Dark & light; freedom & slavery; dichotomies, both false and true.
There is much to do. I have got to teach myself German & Latin and begin thinking in the long-term. There are so many questions I have left unanswered; I could have at least spent my time in Santa Cruz looking for answers, rather than studying frivolities. Not to say that the study of Russian or anything Slavic and European was that, but to say that, well, there were a great many mistakes.
Mistakes were made...by me. I have sinned, father, and for that I am ready to repent.
I don't know. Essentially, basically, there is much to do and right now, all I want to do is take a nap. We'll see if human weakness wins, or if something more powerful should come over me and lead me to victory. Um, on to victory, in November. Al victoria en noviembre.
Happy Ash Wednesday, ya'll.
While I was in the bathroom a few moments ago, I began pondering what it was that I would write here and how I would go about expressing any of it in a coherent manner. I am not sure I'm able to express it or even if I'm able to express it coherently. I am certain, however, that whatever I write here, I will promptly forget.
I am good at forgetting.
Other times, however, I can be at least nominally decent at remembering. Right now, I remember many of the promises I made to myself around 2003 and 2004. Chief among them, that whatever I did in college, if I should find myself back in Modesto after graduation, that I would try to resume where I left off. I have much unfinished business, including this whole Catholicism thing. Though I believe faith must be manifested outward, I also am of the belief that faith & spirituality are chiefly private concerns.
I have been thinking about contrasting elements a lot lately. Dark & light; freedom & slavery; dichotomies, both false and true.
There is much to do. I have got to teach myself German & Latin and begin thinking in the long-term. There are so many questions I have left unanswered; I could have at least spent my time in Santa Cruz looking for answers, rather than studying frivolities. Not to say that the study of Russian or anything Slavic and European was that, but to say that, well, there were a great many mistakes.
Mistakes were made...by me. I have sinned, father, and for that I am ready to repent.
I don't know. Essentially, basically, there is much to do and right now, all I want to do is take a nap. We'll see if human weakness wins, or if something more powerful should come over me and lead me to victory. Um, on to victory, in November. Al victoria en noviembre.
Happy Ash Wednesday, ya'll.