situations tolerable, baby you're adorable
I like this odd feeling of energy and optimism at 3 am....as I prepare to sleep. :-) My biological rhythms are completely off.
The biggest problem, I have found, since being a vegetarian is my lack of exercise. I was talking to a friend, and I realise that many of my problems in life will be alleviated with exercise. It will make me fitter, happy, and more productive. It will help me get into thinner clothes, add days, months, possibly years, to my life, allow me to function better, and give me something to do. All in all, it'd be a bonus. So, why don't I do it?
I just realised that I basically spent one week, or one-third, of my christmas break mostly in bed, mostly not showering, mostly masturbating. Mostly. What a week.
I started reading again, that's a plus. Also, I went gambling with my Berkeley money, and luckily I broke even. LUCKILY. My trip to Berkeley this week, quite honestly, is my Christmas present to myself. It's my day or two to relax and spend time with my best friends (assuming w.t. does come along). Awesomeness, or awesome disaster stories, are all that could result.
Things are good.
I woke up with a sore neck. That really sucked. TOTALLY.
There are a lot of things I miss. Much of life can not be lived if we continuously work, like machines. Life is an active process, but it is also one of leisure.
I don't want to be as busy the rest of the year.
2007 is going to be one helluva year. I'm scared to death of it, quite honestly. Grad school applications. Hopefully writing a senior thesis. Hopefully.
I need to make goals, and stick with them.
Life is great. I'm wallowing in my own shit and I love it. As I wrote that sentence, I heard three voices in my head: I heard myself, I heard my sister, and brian green reading that sentence. I couldn't picture Jesika reading it. She would never talk about loving the fact that she's wallowing in her own shit. Odd. Self. Family. Friends.
I forget sometimes how much I love her, I really do. She's quite the special gal. I just hope I'm the right kind of special guy for her. It's funny, how you get used to sleeping with someone. The past week with the pillows has been awful. We never talk about what's on our minds, I wonder why. We're so similar; we have false schemas built in our minds of each other that we need to deconstruct.
There's somethin' about her that's so right.
The one thing, though, that no one ever tells you before you get in a relationship is that you can still feel lonely, even when you're in love. Or, perhaps, that is my own difficulty in life. Perhaps those who are religious never feel alone? I'm not quite sure.
My neck hurts. A LOT. I shouldn't sleep so much, but damnit, I know I won't sleep much come january.
life really does happen when you plan. or when you don't plan. or, sometimes, it happens when you're busy rolling over in bed to masturbate or turn on NPR. sigh. if it were monday, not sunday, I'd have the radio on. but I don't.
I'm gonna watch some youtube music videos before bed. ciao.
hope all is well. somebody should like, call me soon. why? because I've been told I can turn quite the phrase verbally. I wish I were the phrase turner and coiner and prose. No matter. I'll keep my witticisms for phone conversations.
everyday is like sunday... goddamnit, I think I miss santa cruz.
but I missed modesto even more. I love modesto. g'night.
The biggest problem, I have found, since being a vegetarian is my lack of exercise. I was talking to a friend, and I realise that many of my problems in life will be alleviated with exercise. It will make me fitter, happy, and more productive. It will help me get into thinner clothes, add days, months, possibly years, to my life, allow me to function better, and give me something to do. All in all, it'd be a bonus. So, why don't I do it?
I just realised that I basically spent one week, or one-third, of my christmas break mostly in bed, mostly not showering, mostly masturbating. Mostly. What a week.
I started reading again, that's a plus. Also, I went gambling with my Berkeley money, and luckily I broke even. LUCKILY. My trip to Berkeley this week, quite honestly, is my Christmas present to myself. It's my day or two to relax and spend time with my best friends (assuming w.t. does come along). Awesomeness, or awesome disaster stories, are all that could result.
Things are good.
I woke up with a sore neck. That really sucked. TOTALLY.
There are a lot of things I miss. Much of life can not be lived if we continuously work, like machines. Life is an active process, but it is also one of leisure.
I don't want to be as busy the rest of the year.
2007 is going to be one helluva year. I'm scared to death of it, quite honestly. Grad school applications. Hopefully writing a senior thesis. Hopefully.
I need to make goals, and stick with them.
Life is great. I'm wallowing in my own shit and I love it. As I wrote that sentence, I heard three voices in my head: I heard myself, I heard my sister, and brian green reading that sentence. I couldn't picture Jesika reading it. She would never talk about loving the fact that she's wallowing in her own shit. Odd. Self. Family. Friends.
I forget sometimes how much I love her, I really do. She's quite the special gal. I just hope I'm the right kind of special guy for her. It's funny, how you get used to sleeping with someone. The past week with the pillows has been awful. We never talk about what's on our minds, I wonder why. We're so similar; we have false schemas built in our minds of each other that we need to deconstruct.
There's somethin' about her that's so right.
The one thing, though, that no one ever tells you before you get in a relationship is that you can still feel lonely, even when you're in love. Or, perhaps, that is my own difficulty in life. Perhaps those who are religious never feel alone? I'm not quite sure.
My neck hurts. A LOT. I shouldn't sleep so much, but damnit, I know I won't sleep much come january.
life really does happen when you plan. or when you don't plan. or, sometimes, it happens when you're busy rolling over in bed to masturbate or turn on NPR. sigh. if it were monday, not sunday, I'd have the radio on. but I don't.
I'm gonna watch some youtube music videos before bed. ciao.
hope all is well. somebody should like, call me soon. why? because I've been told I can turn quite the phrase verbally. I wish I were the phrase turner and coiner and prose. No matter. I'll keep my witticisms for phone conversations.
everyday is like sunday... goddamnit, I think I miss santa cruz.
but I missed modesto even more. I love modesto. g'night.