Reggie Kray -- Do you know my name?
I never wanted to kill
I AM NOT NATURALLY EVIL
Such things I do
Just to make myself
More attractive to you
HAVE I FAILED ?
-Morrissey, "The Last of the Famous International Playboys"
I have those lyrics ringing in my head. Right now, I have chosen to give the Neil some rest and return to my old favourite, Morrissey. Incidentally, I spent a lot of fall quarter last school year also listening to Bona Drag which is a damn fine compiliation if I say so myself. If money grew on trees, I would probably be purchasing some new cds right now; however, that is not the case, and it is time to conserve money.
I need to worry about my fiscal organization again. The problem is, yes I have money in checking, and in savings, and some cash, but I can't spend all my checking money and then drain the other funds. I don't want to fund groceries with savings money (savings money is supposed to be for big purchase items and just money that I need). As I write that, I thank the lord that my situation is no longer as dire as it used to be. The economic crisis I have faced is over; the crisis that millions of people face daily is not over, but only worsening. I don't want to surround myself in hoards of money, but now that I'm finally not only realising but acting like it's the precious commodity society has made it, I have a greater appreciation for a lot of things.
The past few days in Santa Cruz have been quite lovely. I have certainly eaten out more than I should, but with school starting, I'm not too worried about that. I have plenty of food here, and like I said, I do have money for more groceries. In short, life is good. I am in a state of stability and wonderfulness I have not known while being a college student. Thus, this third year of college is monumentous for several reasons: financial security; finally loving the school (and town) I am part of; the realisation that I did make a solid group of friends; and thoughts of post-undergraduate life.
A lot has changed, and starting thursday I have the choice to act on that. I have the choice to be a better student, and earn better grades, or continue my path, or take another path completely. The world is full of options, and as I write this, I'm okay with that. I feel more centered and calmer on the vegetarian diet. True, today I ate rather poorly; I ate too much to begin with, and had lots of unhealthy food (lunch, if you could call it that, was basically french fries and ice cream). I also made the poor choice to smoke 4 cigarettes. It wasn't that bad, really.
I'm excited about school though. Once the school year starts, I can start acting further on those concepts of city/college love and planning for post-undergraduate life. I actually ran into one of my favourite professors and found out that my other favourite professor is not doing too well. That makes me sad because he's my advisor, a great man, and I've taken 3 classes with him. I wanted him to sponsor my thesis; I really, really, really, want to write a thesis. I know what I would like to write about, I just need to get out there and do it --provided the concept is accepted.
All in all, life is pretty good. There were some moments today that kind of bothered me, and given the general feel of today, I know things are just slowing down and getting ready for a rhythmic grind that will drive me crazy before december. I just need to remember the positive energy I am manifesting as I write this. Things can be worked through, with effort. I have a meeting for a possible internship (but I'm missing the letter of rec I'm supposed to have :-( ) and I also, actually, have a job interview tomorrow -- Quizno's, which is like, literally maybe a 3-5 minute walk from my building. Thus, I'll be able to add employment to this.
After a summer off, I'm ready to work hard. I just hope I don't feel like I'm burnt out before the quarter's over.
I AM NOT NATURALLY EVIL
Such things I do
Just to make myself
More attractive to you
HAVE I FAILED ?
-Morrissey, "The Last of the Famous International Playboys"
I have those lyrics ringing in my head. Right now, I have chosen to give the Neil some rest and return to my old favourite, Morrissey. Incidentally, I spent a lot of fall quarter last school year also listening to Bona Drag which is a damn fine compiliation if I say so myself. If money grew on trees, I would probably be purchasing some new cds right now; however, that is not the case, and it is time to conserve money.
I need to worry about my fiscal organization again. The problem is, yes I have money in checking, and in savings, and some cash, but I can't spend all my checking money and then drain the other funds. I don't want to fund groceries with savings money (savings money is supposed to be for big purchase items and just money that I need). As I write that, I thank the lord that my situation is no longer as dire as it used to be. The economic crisis I have faced is over; the crisis that millions of people face daily is not over, but only worsening. I don't want to surround myself in hoards of money, but now that I'm finally not only realising but acting like it's the precious commodity society has made it, I have a greater appreciation for a lot of things.
The past few days in Santa Cruz have been quite lovely. I have certainly eaten out more than I should, but with school starting, I'm not too worried about that. I have plenty of food here, and like I said, I do have money for more groceries. In short, life is good. I am in a state of stability and wonderfulness I have not known while being a college student. Thus, this third year of college is monumentous for several reasons: financial security; finally loving the school (and town) I am part of; the realisation that I did make a solid group of friends; and thoughts of post-undergraduate life.
A lot has changed, and starting thursday I have the choice to act on that. I have the choice to be a better student, and earn better grades, or continue my path, or take another path completely. The world is full of options, and as I write this, I'm okay with that. I feel more centered and calmer on the vegetarian diet. True, today I ate rather poorly; I ate too much to begin with, and had lots of unhealthy food (lunch, if you could call it that, was basically french fries and ice cream). I also made the poor choice to smoke 4 cigarettes. It wasn't that bad, really.
I'm excited about school though. Once the school year starts, I can start acting further on those concepts of city/college love and planning for post-undergraduate life. I actually ran into one of my favourite professors and found out that my other favourite professor is not doing too well. That makes me sad because he's my advisor, a great man, and I've taken 3 classes with him. I wanted him to sponsor my thesis; I really, really, really, want to write a thesis. I know what I would like to write about, I just need to get out there and do it --provided the concept is accepted.
All in all, life is pretty good. There were some moments today that kind of bothered me, and given the general feel of today, I know things are just slowing down and getting ready for a rhythmic grind that will drive me crazy before december. I just need to remember the positive energy I am manifesting as I write this. Things can be worked through, with effort. I have a meeting for a possible internship (but I'm missing the letter of rec I'm supposed to have :-( ) and I also, actually, have a job interview tomorrow -- Quizno's, which is like, literally maybe a 3-5 minute walk from my building. Thus, I'll be able to add employment to this.
After a summer off, I'm ready to work hard. I just hope I don't feel like I'm burnt out before the quarter's over.