I Couldn't Stomach It. Can you?
In the wee hours of this morning, I dreamt that I threw up. I dreamt that my throat was totally raw. I dreamt that the world smelled like vomit.
At 1 pm this afternoon, I awoke to find all my dreams had come true.
(IMPORTANT NOTE: I had had nothing alcoholic to drink, nor had I consumed any noxious/spoiled/illegal substance. Back to story.)
Five hours late for work, feeling like one of the very few substances that I hadn't wound up excreting all over the bed, I immediately phoned my boss to apologize and belatedly call in sick. Then I set about disposing of the stench. This is the first time I've ever thrown sheets out. I just looked at them and their stomach-acid stains and said, "You know what? Not worth it."
I took an 75-minute shower, made myself a gallon of tea, washed the undersheets that had only gotten the more watery parts of the upchuck on them, obsessively searched for drips on the carpet (there were miraculously none), sprayed a third of a can of air freshener throughout my room, took another shower, fell asleep for an hour, and only then allowed myself to contemplate what had happened...or rather, what hadn't happened.
Allow me now to count my blessings:
* I sleep in a loose fetal position with several sheet wrapped and propped around me. Thus, I was not flat on my back, and thus I did not choke to death on my own vomit.
* While sleeping, I apparently was just revolted enough by the smell to roll away from it and --going by the forensic evidence-- to wipe almost all of it off my face. So I only have one acid-burn, and it's inside my mouth.
* The bulk of the sick was contained in one starburst in the spot where my pillow would have been if I'd been using one. Very easy to contain and dispose of.
* I haven't thrown up again. In fact, once I got the smell mostly out and had something to calm down my system, I didn't feel all that bad.
As I said, the smell's mostly gone, and every source is either in the dumpster or washed and dried...and yet I keep smelling it. I'm hoping it's lingering phantom nasal sensations, but I keep feeling for wet spots or stuck-together hairs anyway.
.
At 1 pm this afternoon, I awoke to find all my dreams had come true.
(IMPORTANT NOTE: I had had nothing alcoholic to drink, nor had I consumed any noxious/spoiled/illegal substance. Back to story.)
Five hours late for work, feeling like one of the very few substances that I hadn't wound up excreting all over the bed, I immediately phoned my boss to apologize and belatedly call in sick. Then I set about disposing of the stench. This is the first time I've ever thrown sheets out. I just looked at them and their stomach-acid stains and said, "You know what? Not worth it."
I took an 75-minute shower, made myself a gallon of tea, washed the undersheets that had only gotten the more watery parts of the upchuck on them, obsessively searched for drips on the carpet (there were miraculously none), sprayed a third of a can of air freshener throughout my room, took another shower, fell asleep for an hour, and only then allowed myself to contemplate what had happened...or rather, what hadn't happened.
Allow me now to count my blessings:
* I sleep in a loose fetal position with several sheet wrapped and propped around me. Thus, I was not flat on my back, and thus I did not choke to death on my own vomit.
* While sleeping, I apparently was just revolted enough by the smell to roll away from it and --going by the forensic evidence-- to wipe almost all of it off my face. So I only have one acid-burn, and it's inside my mouth.
* The bulk of the sick was contained in one starburst in the spot where my pillow would have been if I'd been using one. Very easy to contain and dispose of.
* I haven't thrown up again. In fact, once I got the smell mostly out and had something to calm down my system, I didn't feel all that bad.
As I said, the smell's mostly gone, and every source is either in the dumpster or washed and dried...and yet I keep smelling it. I'm hoping it's lingering phantom nasal sensations, but I keep feeling for wet spots or stuck-together hairs anyway.
.