Making Fun of Spam: Part 7 in an Ongoing Series
Ever since I saw my first Forum Spoiler post --you know, the kind that changes the font color of the Spoiler-- I've been curious as to where else that technique would come in handy. And now I know. Spam. Obviously, it would be a lot easier for the spam-mongers
[1] Not to be confused with 'spamongers,' defined as those who proliferate therapeutic-bath resorts.
to hook the public if they could make more outrageous claims without worrying about repercussions (albeit unlikely repercussions) like getting sued for false advertising. In fact, the white-font strategy might even attract more respectable companies to the spam-market
[2] Not to be confused with the 'spamarket,' defined as a mineral-bath gift shop.
...although that might immediately make them less respectable.
In any case, I decided to test the white-font strategy on the following spam I received today. The black text is the unaltered original. You'll have to click, hold and drag to see the hidden "spoiler" text.
We only sell premium watches if we can find people stupid enough to buy them from us.
There's no bat tery in these re plicas just like the real ones since they charge themselves as you move. For a demonstration, observe how our watches are always fully charged when we set our stand back down after running from the cops.
The second hand moves JUST like the real ones, too. As for the hour hand ...well, most people know what hour it is anyway, right?
These original watches sell in stores for thousands of dollars. At least that's how much we've been selling them back to them for.
We se ll them to you for much less. Our motto: Spread The Guilt.
- Replicated to the Smallest Detail. Thus, not a single piece is original.
- 98% Perfectly Accurate Markings. The other 2% is what's supposed to make the watch run.
- Signature Green Sticker w/ Serial Number on Wa tch Back. Do Not Remove. InkPack Enclosed.
- Magnified Quickset Date. Our watches are accurate to the nearest tenth of a year.
- Includes all Proper Markings, except for that 2% we referred to earlier.
http://www.maximumqual.com/.exe
I'm sure that the leaders of the spam-pawnshop
[3] Not to be confused with 'spawn shop,' although I'm not exactly sure how it would be.
movement will appreciate the suggestion FOR ME TO POOP ON THEM!.
.
[1] Not to be confused with 'spamongers,' defined as those who proliferate therapeutic-bath resorts.
to hook the public if they could make more outrageous claims without worrying about repercussions (albeit unlikely repercussions) like getting sued for false advertising. In fact, the white-font strategy might even attract more respectable companies to the spam-market
[2] Not to be confused with the 'spamarket,' defined as a mineral-bath gift shop.
...although that might immediately make them less respectable.
In any case, I decided to test the white-font strategy on the following spam I received today. The black text is the unaltered original. You'll have to click, hold and drag to see the hidden "spoiler" text.
We only sell premium watches if we can find people stupid enough to buy them from us.
There's no bat tery in these re plicas just like the real ones since they charge themselves as you move. For a demonstration, observe how our watches are always fully charged when we set our stand back down after running from the cops.
The second hand moves JUST like the real ones, too. As for the hour hand ...well, most people know what hour it is anyway, right?
These original watches sell in stores for thousands of dollars. At least that's how much we've been selling them back to them for.
We se ll them to you for much less. Our motto: Spread The Guilt.
- Replicated to the Smallest Detail. Thus, not a single piece is original.
- 98% Perfectly Accurate Markings. The other 2% is what's supposed to make the watch run.
- Signature Green Sticker w/ Serial Number on Wa tch Back. Do Not Remove. InkPack Enclosed.
- Magnified Quickset Date. Our watches are accurate to the nearest tenth of a year.
- Includes all Proper Markings, except for that 2% we referred to earlier.
http://www.maximumqual.com/.exe
I'm sure that the leaders of the spam-pawnshop
[3] Not to be confused with 'spawn shop,' although I'm not exactly sure how it would be.
movement will appreciate the suggestion FOR ME TO POOP ON THEM!.
.