(no subject)
Hmm i'd been thinking a little abt what we said last night.. esp the part abt u "testing waters".. i guess u're right.. i was willing to let love override whatever hurt i ALREADY had... but i prob wldn't be able to handle additional hurt very well... cuz tt wld just reflect u haven't changed and still feel tt way abt me... and we wld be back to square one. i guess i said i wanted to make the rship work thinking it wld be a 2-way effort... ie. 2-way effort in stopping unnecessary insecurities from resurfacing... i wldn't be able to handle it alone. Yup.. so i guess it IS the right decision..... since u might still feel that way now and in the future... conflicts wld just reoccur and they'd never end unless the insecurities stop. :)
Heh i guess i ought to embrace singlehood more... well at least the love still remains, so that's a good thing. And maybe it wldn't be as awkward as i thought it would be? *shrugs* After all... I surprise myself now and then haha..
Izzit so bad being single my whole life anyway? Maybe if i'm old and too lonely and can't stand my life anymore hobbling around like a useless and meaningless bum i might just end it sooner haha.. or maybe just be in peace with it and spend my days in the mountains.. whee! :) Well hopefully there'd still be loved ones around... cuz tt's essentially what really keeps life worth living for... no?
Haha okay i think i sound insane. :P
"Without inner peace outer peace is impossible."