(no subject)
i think i realized the problem here. or one of the problems perhaps...
you think you're my life, that i don't have a life outside of you...which i guess is making me realize that i probably have too much emphasis on your impact in my life...normally i'm just used to doing my own thing, i've never been much of a social person, i avoid people so i've never been one of those people always surrounded by friends, and if i have the choice of hanging out with casual friends or my closer friends i choose the latter, and even if i had the choice of casual friends versus hanging out by myself i'd probably choose being alone, but that's just how i am. i like being with people i feel comfortable and happy around. i have terrible social anxiety around people i don't know well. so yes i have very few close friends in my life, so i do put them above the rest in my life. i do have my own life though, it's just a different life than most, it's me doing my own thing and yeah that might be just me hanging out in my room by myself all day at my computer. i guess it's just that i've completely accepted that my life is going to change and that i'm not going to live here anymore, so i've moved on from everything in my life here...except for you. so i guess you're the only reason i am still here a little longer, to see you, even though that's not workin out so well, i think i'm wasting my time here, i probably should just leave and get over it. i don't know...
you think you're my life, that i don't have a life outside of you...which i guess is making me realize that i probably have too much emphasis on your impact in my life...normally i'm just used to doing my own thing, i've never been much of a social person, i avoid people so i've never been one of those people always surrounded by friends, and if i have the choice of hanging out with casual friends or my closer friends i choose the latter, and even if i had the choice of casual friends versus hanging out by myself i'd probably choose being alone, but that's just how i am. i like being with people i feel comfortable and happy around. i have terrible social anxiety around people i don't know well. so yes i have very few close friends in my life, so i do put them above the rest in my life. i do have my own life though, it's just a different life than most, it's me doing my own thing and yeah that might be just me hanging out in my room by myself all day at my computer. i guess it's just that i've completely accepted that my life is going to change and that i'm not going to live here anymore, so i've moved on from everything in my life here...except for you. so i guess you're the only reason i am still here a little longer, to see you, even though that's not workin out so well, i think i'm wasting my time here, i probably should just leave and get over it. i don't know...