Obligatory birthday post.
Well, it's officially my birthday but it feels like I'm still counting up the days - weeks, months ? - up to the date. I'm so far behind schedule and the summer is almost here. School lets out next week, I'm thinkin about hitting up Wheeler for the last day of school but I doubt that will be so. I love everyone.
Birthday comments??
Update:
Turns out no one actually cares whether or not it's your birthday after all, they still take opportunities to down on you. My grandma even after giving me a gift asked me if she could take me out to dinner and I said I didn't want to go out because the truth is I'm feeling like shit and the only thing that would make me feel better is getting out of the house and going shopping but my grandma has been on her feet for hours and I cannot ask her to do that. I didn't ask for anything for my birthday except for a GBA link cable and that's all I got, besides money. I am not having a good birthday. I am not far from thinking irrational things like drinking bleach and cutting, or strangling myself.
George has no idea. I've felt less and less like talking to him because more and more I feel like he intentionally pulls for some sort of relationship.[2] I know it's bad to be posting this. The last thing I want to do is start shit on my birthday. I feel like my volcano is going to blow [1].
It's horrible because I've felting this mounting peak of bad consuming me and here it is finally. I just don't want... to be. I want to go out into Westerly and shop and I want to see my friends, I spent the entire day thinking it was just another day because it seemed so unlike my birthday. What is wrong with me? I think I'm an alien.
[2] So last night I intentionally did not pick up the phone. Does that make me bad? I even took it off the hook after the second call, until around 11:59. Then I put it back on and prepared to see if he'd call again and I would tell him I did not want to talk. I do not like how he has been calling lately.
I do not want to go out to dinner tonight.
Birthday comments??
Update:
Turns out no one actually cares whether or not it's your birthday after all, they still take opportunities to down on you. My grandma even after giving me a gift asked me if she could take me out to dinner and I said I didn't want to go out because the truth is I'm feeling like shit and the only thing that would make me feel better is getting out of the house and going shopping but my grandma has been on her feet for hours and I cannot ask her to do that. I didn't ask for anything for my birthday except for a GBA link cable and that's all I got, besides money. I am not having a good birthday. I am not far from thinking irrational things like drinking bleach and cutting, or strangling myself.
George has no idea. I've felt less and less like talking to him because more and more I feel like he intentionally pulls for some sort of relationship.[2] I know it's bad to be posting this. The last thing I want to do is start shit on my birthday. I feel like my volcano is going to blow [1].
It's horrible because I've felting this mounting peak of bad consuming me and here it is finally. I just don't want... to be. I want to go out into Westerly and shop and I want to see my friends, I spent the entire day thinking it was just another day because it seemed so unlike my birthday. What is wrong with me? I think I'm an alien.
[2] So last night I intentionally did not pick up the phone. Does that make me bad? I even took it off the hook after the second call, until around 11:59. Then I put it back on and prepared to see if he'd call again and I would tell him I did not want to talk. I do not like how he has been calling lately.
I do not want to go out to dinner tonight.