summer lust ain't got a thing ( Read more... )

I hope what I fear won't happen. But I'd rather deal with you then, then not have the oppurtunity to deal at all. I'll start off in the Chinese Room, with Sam by my side.

I'm stereotypical. Late on the second day of school, skipping on the first. She's evil that girl, I can only predict and after-school special, something with dramatic liking, and sitting alone at lunches.

Disgusting. I thought you would wait for love, but you've turned into everyone else... All the people we used to hate.

Not memorable, or worth the effort. More of a filler, to keep the air heavy. I keep feeling-glazy eyed, watching the leaves blow under my car. Not ready for change, but maybe I should start actually answering Doug's persistent phone calls. And spend the night when I'm sober.

All of this feels harder than I thought. I'd kill just to have a little moment of complete understanding between my parents, my friends, my personal life. Im so torn , I'm so bad at balancing the things that never needed double checking before. I think im being stretched too thin.

7/11. Boyfriend. Its so strange/nice. I forgot what it was like to have someone offer to pick you up. We climbed the water tower, and he kept me calm. But he's so different, so relaxed. LIke he'll keep me sane, like he already has.

impossibly high standards. but worse than that, is that eating sushi was painful. I'm sticking to soup and jello, pudding and pasta. But  my sutures ache. Popping vicadin and new dvds of gilmore girls periodically, to cope with the healing process. I missed the fireworks, but I'm a traditionalist anyways. You keep thinking, and buzzing, but at the ( Read more... )

I'm losing track of the days. And I keep accidentlly neglecting people. But picking up the phone is hard work when I'm trying to be a professional hermit.

Am I really that obvious? But more importantly, you are not.