(no subject)
"What am I doing? What am I doing?
I don't know what I'm doing. I'm doing the best that I can.
I know that's all I can ask of myself.
But is that good enough? Is my work doing any good?
Is anybody paying attention? Is it hopeless to try and change things?
I'm fucked. Maybe I should quit. Don't quit.
Maybe I should just fucking quit. Don't fucking quit.
I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to fucking do anymore.
Fucker. Fuck! Shit!"
Wow. EXACTLY how I feel almost every day. [its from I.Heart.Huckabees, in case you didn't know] Seriously. Last night I almost lost it, too. I came home from work, with no plans, nothing to do. Most everyone had already made plans with people, and it just felt like I almost never get invited to do things. I know its not totally true, but I sure would like to have just a couple people who I could count on to hang out with. In Philly, I always had Laura, and it was so awesome to have someone to just spend time with. We never even really had to do anything. Or, at least Dimitra would always call if she was going to Mom's or was having Crovetti's and just ask. It was nice having somewhere to always go, sort of.
Being home, yeah, my friends live here and are close at hand, but I'll call them to hang out, and they're already doing stuff. And then its just awkward, like I'm desperate for friends! On top of that, on a Friday night, all there's left for a single person to do is go to the bars, which I just don't feel anymore. I don't want to go drinking alone, so much, and I'm not looking to hook up with anyone, so it just feels lame. All I want is Laura and Dimitra to spend time with and drink whiskey and eat pizza and waffle fries!! I've got to plan one night a week to go out, something to look forward to each week.
I also desperately miss $10 all you can drink Sunday nights at the Khyber. There's no where like that here, with a good mix of people to hang out with and drunkenly dance to funky music with. Unless.....Noc.Noc. might be in store. Maybe I can get Jake and Jarron to come out...haha.
Sorry for the lame rant. I'm just getting tired of moving, and being unhappy. But I know its only myself. I need to just cheer up, right? Bah.
I don't know what I'm doing. I'm doing the best that I can.
I know that's all I can ask of myself.
But is that good enough? Is my work doing any good?
Is anybody paying attention? Is it hopeless to try and change things?
I'm fucked. Maybe I should quit. Don't quit.
Maybe I should just fucking quit. Don't fucking quit.
I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to fucking do anymore.
Fucker. Fuck! Shit!"
Wow. EXACTLY how I feel almost every day. [its from I.Heart.Huckabees, in case you didn't know] Seriously. Last night I almost lost it, too. I came home from work, with no plans, nothing to do. Most everyone had already made plans with people, and it just felt like I almost never get invited to do things. I know its not totally true, but I sure would like to have just a couple people who I could count on to hang out with. In Philly, I always had Laura, and it was so awesome to have someone to just spend time with. We never even really had to do anything. Or, at least Dimitra would always call if she was going to Mom's or was having Crovetti's and just ask. It was nice having somewhere to always go, sort of.
Being home, yeah, my friends live here and are close at hand, but I'll call them to hang out, and they're already doing stuff. And then its just awkward, like I'm desperate for friends! On top of that, on a Friday night, all there's left for a single person to do is go to the bars, which I just don't feel anymore. I don't want to go drinking alone, so much, and I'm not looking to hook up with anyone, so it just feels lame. All I want is Laura and Dimitra to spend time with and drink whiskey and eat pizza and waffle fries!! I've got to plan one night a week to go out, something to look forward to each week.
I also desperately miss $10 all you can drink Sunday nights at the Khyber. There's no where like that here, with a good mix of people to hang out with and drunkenly dance to funky music with. Unless.....Noc.Noc. might be in store. Maybe I can get Jake and Jarron to come out...haha.
Sorry for the lame rant. I'm just getting tired of moving, and being unhappy. But I know its only myself. I need to just cheer up, right? Bah.