Depressed Again.

[kiss_of_velvet]

Is there an end? Where was the beginning? I walk through doors so blindly I don't even know whats going on in my life anymore. I had it good. And I gave it away for something unfinished. My chest hurts. I cannot breathe. I need one but I had to give up the other who I still want. Dad says, "You can't always have what you want." I wonder what he gave up to be with mom... College... Art... Yes. He gave up his life to marry and rape a schizophrenic manic depressive bi polar and have four kids and one miss carried twin.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I want a clean slate. When I was with her I never thought about running away. Now that I'm without her I constantly do. I jus want to pay off my bills... save my checks for a year.... and fucking disappear.

Who'd miss me? I'm jus a slut anyway.