A Social Experiment
I went to my first group through meetup.com tonight, rushing from work and making it some thirty to forty minutes past the listed time. I couldn't get anyone to tell me how long the meetings tended to last so I wasn't sure what to expect when I got there, but it didn't matter. I was going to give it a try.
Folks were still there, sitting in a circle and looking for all the world like a therapy group of some kind. One person was talking at a time because, as I quickly discovered, they were answering conversational questions from a book. And while some people seemed fine with it, I know I saw boredom behind other people's masks. I had my hot chocolate and did my best to enjoy myself, but I realized that I had hoped for conversation without the training wheels. A number of people seemed friendly and capable of talking on their own. We weren't really supposed to talk to one another, though, because that would be rude to whoever was sharing at the moment, and it was hard to hear folks over the music, as it was. And the questions that the book asked didn't seem to matter much.
One question was: What lie have you told today? Most people blanked out like they were in a confessional, and several insisted that they'd told no lies. I didn't lie much today, but I was able to find one and admit it with a straight face.
Next question: Do you believe that we can communicate with the dead? One lady talked about having gone to some psychic's show or something, and how he asked specifically if anyone had just gotten back from Washington D.C. She couldn't imagine how he could have known that. I kept my lips firmly closed over the knowledge that they record audience conversations before such shows, looking for just that kind of information. The self-professed atheist in the group managed to be nice, but he got more questions put to him than any of the others.
Another question was: Do you think the search for truth is a lifestyle or a seasonal thing? Of course, most said it was a lifestyle, and they were such honest people that it was their lifestyle. Others said that the search for truth had to do with searching yourself, and finding your own truth. I couldn't help myself; I said that not only was it seasonal, but people seek out lies, fantasies, and the like just as much. I was honest, at least, when I said that I wasn't sure truth existed. Some people gave affirmative signs. I'm not sure the organizer liked it much.
I can talk about a lot of things when I'm not being corralled from subject to subject, with little time for reflection or reaction. I could see that none of the questions were going to be allowed to flourish; the meeting was going to be regulated throughout, so that an organic flow would be impossible. I figure that an icebreaker can be good to start off with, but if a gathering is gelling well, folks can be left on their own to decide what comes next. It's one of the reasons I hate party games. I tend to keep the ball bouncing just fine and I don't want to be interfered with.
It seemed like most people there were a older than me by more than five years and used to obeying the organizer, so I probably won't be going back, but it was a worthwhile experiment. I'm having trouble finding other groups due to my work schedule but I'll keep looking because why not? There's a whole world of people out there, and some of them will be worth my time - once I bump into them, that is.
Folks were still there, sitting in a circle and looking for all the world like a therapy group of some kind. One person was talking at a time because, as I quickly discovered, they were answering conversational questions from a book. And while some people seemed fine with it, I know I saw boredom behind other people's masks. I had my hot chocolate and did my best to enjoy myself, but I realized that I had hoped for conversation without the training wheels. A number of people seemed friendly and capable of talking on their own. We weren't really supposed to talk to one another, though, because that would be rude to whoever was sharing at the moment, and it was hard to hear folks over the music, as it was. And the questions that the book asked didn't seem to matter much.
One question was: What lie have you told today? Most people blanked out like they were in a confessional, and several insisted that they'd told no lies. I didn't lie much today, but I was able to find one and admit it with a straight face.
Next question: Do you believe that we can communicate with the dead? One lady talked about having gone to some psychic's show or something, and how he asked specifically if anyone had just gotten back from Washington D.C. She couldn't imagine how he could have known that. I kept my lips firmly closed over the knowledge that they record audience conversations before such shows, looking for just that kind of information. The self-professed atheist in the group managed to be nice, but he got more questions put to him than any of the others.
Another question was: Do you think the search for truth is a lifestyle or a seasonal thing? Of course, most said it was a lifestyle, and they were such honest people that it was their lifestyle. Others said that the search for truth had to do with searching yourself, and finding your own truth. I couldn't help myself; I said that not only was it seasonal, but people seek out lies, fantasies, and the like just as much. I was honest, at least, when I said that I wasn't sure truth existed. Some people gave affirmative signs. I'm not sure the organizer liked it much.
I can talk about a lot of things when I'm not being corralled from subject to subject, with little time for reflection or reaction. I could see that none of the questions were going to be allowed to flourish; the meeting was going to be regulated throughout, so that an organic flow would be impossible. I figure that an icebreaker can be good to start off with, but if a gathering is gelling well, folks can be left on their own to decide what comes next. It's one of the reasons I hate party games. I tend to keep the ball bouncing just fine and I don't want to be interfered with.
It seemed like most people there were a older than me by more than five years and used to obeying the organizer, so I probably won't be going back, but it was a worthwhile experiment. I'm having trouble finding other groups due to my work schedule but I'll keep looking because why not? There's a whole world of people out there, and some of them will be worth my time - once I bump into them, that is.