(no subject)
Josh and I haven't talked in a while. He told me he was different, much like most of them do. I guess by different they mean the same. I didn't know him that well but I felt electricity. I guess the feeling wasnt mutual. I have a mess load of guys all saying they will be there for me if i need them, which simply means they want to lay me. Which doesn't make me feel any better, like now i'm just a peice of meat. I think too much into life. I care too much about boys. I'm laying low. I have one guy i want right now and he's out of reach so far out of reach he never even ims me anymore. it's less than a call and yet still too much work to talk to me. I dont know why i want someone i barely know most likely I'm just a stupid fool. I follow my heart more often than my brain. I know certain things are socially unacceptable yet i do them anyways. I care too much about people as a whole. If I think someone genuinly needs something I will do everything in my power to get it to them. I give everything to everyone and get nothing in return. I don't think I'm leaving enough for myself. I'm too busy dishing out my care to realise that I am now empty and in need. Unfortunatly, I dont think there are many others out there like myself cause I sure as hell dont see it towards me. Except from my best friend. She's a sweet heart. It's Christmas... I just wish for once I'd have someone to hold me on Christmas night. have them kisses me very softly and say "I have everything I asked for right here in my arms" but a dreams a dream and should be thought of as such because there is no way to make some dreams come true.