[picspam primer] glitter herpes
Because I went through all the work of figuring all this stuff out, I might as well share it. There's a lot of pictures here, just so you know.
Okay. Basically, Glitter Herpes 'verse is about Ryan making bad life decisions. Like the pants he's wearing in this picture:
Seriously. Those pants are bad. Bad bad bad. Anyway, the first stupid choice Ryan makes is starring in porn to make some cash to pay his rent bill. He stars in that porn with Ryan Ross, henceforth called Ross.
This is Ross:
Sometimes Ross moonlights as a street urchin. Anyway, if you know Panic!, you'll be kind "huhwhat?" at this point because Vegas is very far from New York! They're not actually from Vegas in this au, surprise! They're from Virginia. The porn was made in DC, just go with it. ANYWAY, Ryan accidentally runs into Ross at a show for a band a week or so later. They are totally in love with each other so they trade numbers. For reference, this is in November of 2004 because this 'verse sort of plays it fast and loose with canon. This is in the very very beginning of Panic!'s rise to stardom.
Ryan also meets Ross' bff for life, Spencer. This is Ross and Spencer:
They're kinda adorable together and Spencer totally hates Ryan at first because uh, yeah. But then Ross goes out on a date with Ryan and Spencer can't hate him anymore because no one has made Ross smile like that in a long time. They start dating on Valentine's Day, 2005, because they are both total saps like that. Ross drags Ryan in to meet his band. This is the band:
They're pretty cool dudes and Ryan likes them a lot. He's at every single one of the shows he can get to, cheering for them because they're awesome. They even introduce him to their boss, Pete Wentz, who takes an immediate liking to Ryan.
This is Pete taking to Ross while Brendon thinks about ponies:
Then Brent (the one with the dark hair that's laying down in the middle of the crazy in that group photo) is kicked out of the band. Ryan actually flies out the weekend after it happens and hangs with the band because even though he has finals and stuff coming up, they need him there. Especially Ross.
But all is well because Jon Walker comes along. Ryan approves of him. This is the band now:
This is Jon Walker, who is maybe a little bit magical:
Okay. Here's where the timeline goes weird! In July of 2006, Ryan and Ross break up. Sort of, their relationship is kinda weird. Anyway, Ryan still goes to their shows and stuff. He's there when Brendon gets bottled (and kisses it after the show, much to Ross' annoyance). He's at the November 13/14 concerts in Madison Square Garden and he's at the December 08 Las Vegas date. While he's hanging around backstage, he meets Cobra Starship and, more importantly, Gabe Saporta.
This is Gabe:
Gabe likes Ryan and tries to get into Ryan's pants until Ross snarls and Gabe backs off. Except, you know, Ryan and Ross aren't dating so Gabe gets Ryan's number and bothers him a lot. Ryan hates Gabe's clothes and refuses to hang out with him but eventually caves because Gabe is in New York all the time and Ryan is in New York all the time. Whatever, they go out and Gabe brings William Beckett along.
This is William Beckett:
William and Ryan get to talking and Ryan finds out that William knows Jon Walker too! And dude, William is awesome! And Gabe facepalms in a corner because he just introduced Ryan to someone Ryan likes better than him. Woe. But seriously, the following picture will demonstrate why Ryan hates Gabe's clothes.
Nevermind the fact that Ryan is wearing floral pants in that first picture, those outfits are FUGLY FUGLY FUGLY. Seriously. Anyway, William and Gabe then introduce Ryan to Travis. They go out drinking, like so:
Some stuff happens between 2006 and 2008, but most of it is unimportant to the understanding of this AU. May 2008 is the next important date because Ryan graduates!
Ryan sings with Gabe during Warped when they're in Uniondale, NY. It is approximately at this time that Chad decides to move to New York because he needs to be away from Albuquerque. He gets there and panics, because he has no place to live. So he calls Ryan and crashes on Ryan's couch.
Like so:
And never moves out stays for a little while before he gets a job at Starbucks and becomes Danforth, the latte boy has enough money to get his own place. Independence is awesome! Anyway, Chad and Ryan are good friends because when Kelsi gets fed up with Ryan she calls Chad and makes him deal with it. It was a lot harder when Chad was, like, three thousand miles away.
The point is that Chad ends up meeting all of Ryan's new friends and facepalms because Ryan totally doesn't even get that he's friends with really famous people. Chad gets fed up with Starbucks and eventually becomes a freelance graphic designer (and proud owner of a brand of t-shirts called 8isforever). They settle into this pattern and fool around a little. Meanwhile, Adam Lambert and Kris Allen meet on American Idol.
They're adorable together:
Adam also meets Allison Iraheta, whom he loves like a little sister:
Adam also meets Gabe Saporta (and Ke$ha and half of 3OH!3 and Trav from We the Kings). No seriously:
Because Gabe is still trying to get into Ryan's pants such good friends with Ryan (he's already gotten into Ryan's pants at this point), he introduces Ryan to some people who need back-up dancers. Ryan politely tells Gabe to fuck off, he likes working at a strip club. But then Gabe introduces Ryan to Adam. Adam kind of just. Stares because okay, like. Ryan is pretty.
Let me show you!
Okay. In actuality it has nothing to do with those things. It's because of Ryan's motherfucking hypnotic hips.
Seriously. Those hips are fab and Adam wants Ryan to be his backup dancer. Ryan says yes. Do you want to know why Ryan says yes? Okay! Let me show you Adam Lambert.
Adam is fabulous. Like so:
Adam is a performer. Don't be stupid, Ryan totally watches AI for hot guys. He even voted for Adam. This is why:
Also this:
Basically? They cannot resist each other. Gabe smiles smugly to himself. William facepalms. Chad sighs. Life goes on.
Then, then! Chad gets roped into Ryan and Adam's shenanigans - which basically means that Chad? Chad is stuck dealing with all the crazy drama that two major drama queens can come up with. Which is a lot of drama. And everyone wonders why he's crazy . . .
People who are not integral to the storyline but also exist in this 'verse because I say so:
Were the World Mine: Timothy eventually gets hired as one of Adam's dancers. He gets the job through Ryan, because Frankie's band gets signed to Decaydance and Pete calls in a really huge favor to get Ryan to choreograph something for their music video. Timothy is, of course, one of the dancers Ryan works with and Ryan is like "Adam, Adam can we hire him please?" (It's a little more complicated than that, obviously, but whatever.)
Glee: I am never letting go of the idea that Sam is Ryan's cousin, so Sam is Ryan's cousin. Also! Kelsi is friends with Kurt from the off-Broadway circuit (she composes musicals sometimes). In addition, Rachel and Sharpay eventually end up in the same cast of RENT as Maureen and Joanne. They receive a ridiculous amount of good press from this - mostly for their stunning rendition of "Take Me Or Leave Me."
The fic in the Glitter Herpes 'verse:
no amount of glue nor tape
Summary: Having slept with everyone in the band but Jon Walker, Ryan is unsurprised when Jon doesn't get it. [Ryan Evans/Ryan Ross, PG-13]
Ryan Evans: instant B-lister
Summary: Ryan Evans is at least twice as pretty as William Beckett. Telling him this is not a valid way to get him to do anything. [Super-quick Ryan/Gabe, PG]
never even crossed my mind that I would ever end up here tonight
Summary: There are lots of reasons to say no to Ryan, but Chad never does. [Ryan/Chad, R]
Don't Trip off the Glitz
Summary: It's supposed to be simple-Chad keeps Ryan out of trouble and Ryan runs around getting into it. Then Ryan's new boss slides himself into that picture and things get fucking complicated. [Adam/Chad/Ryan, R]
#ryanmustgo
Summary: In between making Starbucks runs and being a blowjob queen, Chad suddenly realizes that he's in a threesome with an alien from Planet Fierce and a motherfuckin' princess who's starred in porn. Porn that the internet, wonderful place that it is, has unearthed again and started freaking out about. Oh, and apparently his best friend is friends with like. Every band ever. It amazes Chad that everyone wonders why he's stressed out. [(Adam/)Chad/Ryan(/Adam) with previous Ryan Evans/Ryan Ross, Ryan Evans/possibly everyone on the Decaydance label; R]
in your system
Summary: Adam catches Ryan in his studio, barely sweating and oblivious to the world as he spun and hummed under his breath. [Adam/Ryan(/Chad), R]
Now you've been infected by glitter. Go spread it.
Okay. Basically, Glitter Herpes 'verse is about Ryan making bad life decisions. Like the pants he's wearing in this picture:
Seriously. Those pants are bad. Bad bad bad. Anyway, the first stupid choice Ryan makes is starring in porn to make some cash to pay his rent bill. He stars in that porn with Ryan Ross, henceforth called Ross.
This is Ross:
Sometimes Ross moonlights as a street urchin. Anyway, if you know Panic!, you'll be kind "huhwhat?" at this point because Vegas is very far from New York! They're not actually from Vegas in this au, surprise! They're from Virginia. The porn was made in DC, just go with it. ANYWAY, Ryan accidentally runs into Ross at a show for a band a week or so later. They are totally in love with each other so they trade numbers. For reference, this is in November of 2004 because this 'verse sort of plays it fast and loose with canon. This is in the very very beginning of Panic!'s rise to stardom.
Ryan also meets Ross' bff for life, Spencer. This is Ross and Spencer:
They're kinda adorable together and Spencer totally hates Ryan at first because uh, yeah. But then Ross goes out on a date with Ryan and Spencer can't hate him anymore because no one has made Ross smile like that in a long time. They start dating on Valentine's Day, 2005, because they are both total saps like that. Ross drags Ryan in to meet his band. This is the band:
They're pretty cool dudes and Ryan likes them a lot. He's at every single one of the shows he can get to, cheering for them because they're awesome. They even introduce him to their boss, Pete Wentz, who takes an immediate liking to Ryan.
This is Pete taking to Ross while Brendon thinks about ponies:
Then Brent (the one with the dark hair that's laying down in the middle of the crazy in that group photo) is kicked out of the band. Ryan actually flies out the weekend after it happens and hangs with the band because even though he has finals and stuff coming up, they need him there. Especially Ross.
But all is well because Jon Walker comes along. Ryan approves of him. This is the band now:
This is Jon Walker, who is maybe a little bit magical:
Okay. Here's where the timeline goes weird! In July of 2006, Ryan and Ross break up. Sort of, their relationship is kinda weird. Anyway, Ryan still goes to their shows and stuff. He's there when Brendon gets bottled (and kisses it after the show, much to Ross' annoyance). He's at the November 13/14 concerts in Madison Square Garden and he's at the December 08 Las Vegas date. While he's hanging around backstage, he meets Cobra Starship and, more importantly, Gabe Saporta.
This is Gabe:
Gabe likes Ryan and tries to get into Ryan's pants until Ross snarls and Gabe backs off. Except, you know, Ryan and Ross aren't dating so Gabe gets Ryan's number and bothers him a lot. Ryan hates Gabe's clothes and refuses to hang out with him but eventually caves because Gabe is in New York all the time and Ryan is in New York all the time. Whatever, they go out and Gabe brings William Beckett along.
This is William Beckett:
William and Ryan get to talking and Ryan finds out that William knows Jon Walker too! And dude, William is awesome! And Gabe facepalms in a corner because he just introduced Ryan to someone Ryan likes better than him. Woe. But seriously, the following picture will demonstrate why Ryan hates Gabe's clothes.
Nevermind the fact that Ryan is wearing floral pants in that first picture, those outfits are FUGLY FUGLY FUGLY. Seriously. Anyway, William and Gabe then introduce Ryan to Travis. They go out drinking, like so:
Some stuff happens between 2006 and 2008, but most of it is unimportant to the understanding of this AU. May 2008 is the next important date because Ryan graduates!
Ryan sings with Gabe during Warped when they're in Uniondale, NY. It is approximately at this time that Chad decides to move to New York because he needs to be away from Albuquerque. He gets there and panics, because he has no place to live. So he calls Ryan and crashes on Ryan's couch.
Like so:
And never moves out stays for a little while before he gets a job at Starbucks and becomes Danforth, the latte boy has enough money to get his own place. Independence is awesome! Anyway, Chad and Ryan are good friends because when Kelsi gets fed up with Ryan she calls Chad and makes him deal with it. It was a lot harder when Chad was, like, three thousand miles away.
The point is that Chad ends up meeting all of Ryan's new friends and facepalms because Ryan totally doesn't even get that he's friends with really famous people. Chad gets fed up with Starbucks and eventually becomes a freelance graphic designer (and proud owner of a brand of t-shirts called 8isforever). They settle into this pattern and fool around a little. Meanwhile, Adam Lambert and Kris Allen meet on American Idol.
They're adorable together:
Adam also meets Allison Iraheta, whom he loves like a little sister:
Adam also meets Gabe Saporta (and Ke$ha and half of 3OH!3 and Trav from We the Kings). No seriously:
Because Gabe is still trying to get into Ryan's pants such good friends with Ryan (he's already gotten into Ryan's pants at this point), he introduces Ryan to some people who need back-up dancers. Ryan politely tells Gabe to fuck off, he likes working at a strip club. But then Gabe introduces Ryan to Adam. Adam kind of just. Stares because okay, like. Ryan is pretty.
Let me show you!
Okay. In actuality it has nothing to do with those things. It's because of Ryan's motherfucking hypnotic hips.
Seriously. Those hips are fab and Adam wants Ryan to be his backup dancer. Ryan says yes. Do you want to know why Ryan says yes? Okay! Let me show you Adam Lambert.
Adam is fabulous. Like so:
Adam is a performer. Don't be stupid, Ryan totally watches AI for hot guys. He even voted for Adam. This is why:
Also this:
Basically? They cannot resist each other. Gabe smiles smugly to himself. William facepalms. Chad sighs. Life goes on.
Then, then! Chad gets roped into Ryan and Adam's shenanigans - which basically means that Chad? Chad is stuck dealing with all the crazy drama that two major drama queens can come up with. Which is a lot of drama. And everyone wonders why he's crazy . . .
People who are not integral to the storyline but also exist in this 'verse because I say so:
Were the World Mine: Timothy eventually gets hired as one of Adam's dancers. He gets the job through Ryan, because Frankie's band gets signed to Decaydance and Pete calls in a really huge favor to get Ryan to choreograph something for their music video. Timothy is, of course, one of the dancers Ryan works with and Ryan is like "Adam, Adam can we hire him please?" (It's a little more complicated than that, obviously, but whatever.)
Glee: I am never letting go of the idea that Sam is Ryan's cousin, so Sam is Ryan's cousin. Also! Kelsi is friends with Kurt from the off-Broadway circuit (she composes musicals sometimes). In addition, Rachel and Sharpay eventually end up in the same cast of RENT as Maureen and Joanne. They receive a ridiculous amount of good press from this - mostly for their stunning rendition of "Take Me Or Leave Me."
The fic in the Glitter Herpes 'verse:
no amount of glue nor tape
Summary: Having slept with everyone in the band but Jon Walker, Ryan is unsurprised when Jon doesn't get it. [Ryan Evans/Ryan Ross, PG-13]
Ryan Evans: instant B-lister
Summary: Ryan Evans is at least twice as pretty as William Beckett. Telling him this is not a valid way to get him to do anything. [Super-quick Ryan/Gabe, PG]
never even crossed my mind that I would ever end up here tonight
Summary: There are lots of reasons to say no to Ryan, but Chad never does. [Ryan/Chad, R]
Don't Trip off the Glitz
Summary: It's supposed to be simple-Chad keeps Ryan out of trouble and Ryan runs around getting into it. Then Ryan's new boss slides himself into that picture and things get fucking complicated. [Adam/Chad/Ryan, R]
#ryanmustgo
Summary: In between making Starbucks runs and being a blowjob queen, Chad suddenly realizes that he's in a threesome with an alien from Planet Fierce and a motherfuckin' princess who's starred in porn. Porn that the internet, wonderful place that it is, has unearthed again and started freaking out about. Oh, and apparently his best friend is friends with like. Every band ever. It amazes Chad that everyone wonders why he's stressed out. [(Adam/)Chad/Ryan(/Adam) with previous Ryan Evans/Ryan Ross, Ryan Evans/possibly everyone on the Decaydance label; R]
in your system
Summary: Adam catches Ryan in his studio, barely sweating and oblivious to the world as he spun and hummed under his breath. [Adam/Ryan(/Chad), R]
Now you've been infected by glitter. Go spread it.