[fanfiction] into the unknown, part 1
365 Gay Sharks
Day 183, Word Count: 8102
Theme: July; Celebrate
This post is part of the 365 Gay Sharks project. If you would like to learn more about this project, click here to read more about it. :D
into the unknown
It's not a conscious decision on Mark's part, for most intents and purposes. It's just that Eduardo will say:
"Mark, shut it down and go to sleep."
and Mark will do it. He won't ask questions, he'll just save what he's working on and shut his computer down before crawling into bed. It never occurs to him that he's behaving oddly until Chris mentions it. They're drunk off their asses, and Eduardo says:
"Mark, don't forget to drink water."
and so Mark opens a water bottle once he's done with the beer in his hand and drinks from it, slowly. Chris blinks, and look between Eduardo and Mark, considering. He says:
"You really only listen to Eduardo."
and Mark wants to say that's not true, but he would be lying if he did. When Chris or Dustin say roughly the same things that Eduardo does, Mark ignores them. He might not even acknowledge that they've said anything at all. When Eduardo says anything, though, Mark listens. So Mark shrugs as an answer for Chris, noncommittal. Eduardo stares at Chris with his wide, forest-creature eyes. Chris shifts.
"It just means he likes me more," Eduardo says, finally, and smiles.
The words are meant as a joke, but they make Mark feel warm inside. He blames it on the fact that he's drunk, but in his heart he knows that's a lie. He does like Eduardo best, and the fact that Eduardo recognizes that, knows it, makes Mark happy. That feeling alone makes Mark content, and he would be fine if that was all he ever got from Eduardo. It's all he ever gets for a long time, actually, and that's okay. It's not a big deal to Mark, on the whole, but he can't help wanting more.
He thinks Eduardo notices, though, because Eduardo starts noticing most things fairly quickly. Even if he doesn't notice, he starts touching Mark.
"Mark," a hand on his shoulder, "go to bed. You've been awake forever."
A hand on the back of his neck, "Drink some water, Mark. Before you go to sleep."
"Come to dinner," fingers circled around his wrist, "Mark."
It drives Mark insane, the tiny touches and the brilliant smiles. He's not sure what to make of them, and he's not too eager to find out. If they don't mean that Eduardo wants him, then he doesn't really want to know what they mean because, Mark reasons, there is no cure for broken hearts.
Even if Mark asked, Eduardo's not really sure what it all means himself. In all fairness, though, it's not a conscious decision on Eduardo's part either. It's just that Mark is shit at taking care of himself and Eduardo can't sit back and watch Mark waste away to nothing. So maybe one day he sighs, because Mark has been at his computer for hours, has been running on Red Bull and willpower. Maybe he says:
"Mark, shut it down and go to sleep."
and Mark does it. It startles Eduardo, the first time it happens, because Mark doesn't listen to anyone as far as Eduardo knows-except for maybe his mother. So maybe it starts out as a curiosity, a game to see how far he can push Mark. Only Mark never gives, just blindly follows Eduardo's orders.
So maybe Eduardo starts touching Mark, finding excuses to touch him and feel skin on skin. Mark will lean into the touches, make soft and content noises, and Eduardo is addicted. All he wants is Mark, spread out underneath him on a bed. No, that's a lie.
He wants Mark sobbing and begging him for release, he wants Mark handcuffed and struggling, he wants Mark covered in bruises that tell the whole world who he belongs to, he wants wants wants.
That scares him sometimes, all of the things he wants of Mark and all the ways he wants to break him. It scares him and so he doesn't show it, hides it away within himself. Instead, he lets his fingers brush against the back of Mark's neck. Tells him to get some fucking sleep. Tries not to get impossibly hard when Mark sighs happily.
He's not entirely successful, which is okay because Mark is not entirely successful in communicating what he wants.
It's not that Mark doesn't know what he is-he's got an internet connection and he knows how to use Google, thank you very much-he just doesn't know how to phrase it. There isn't a way to say "I like when you give me orders" to your best friend that isn't very, very awkward, and that frustrates Mark. He knows about subs and doms and sadism and masochism and other kinky shit he's not really into. He just likes following orders, and maybe he's into pain or whatever, but he's not into masks or being a dog or any of the other common things he finds on the porn websites. He doesn't want a ~mistress~ or anything like that.
He just wants Eduardo to give him orders and smile at him when he follows them well.
If Eduardo never gives him anything else, Mark will be okay with just that. He doesn't really need anything else, honest, but he wants. He wants to drop to his knees and suck Eduardo off, wants Eduardo to bruise him, wants hands wrapped around his wrists and holding him down. He wants so much from Eduardo, but he doesn't know how to ask for it. Doesn't know if Eduardo would even want to give it to him.
So he doesn't ask.
And Eduardo maybe dances around Mark and avoids talking about the thing they're doing, avoids putting a name to it, avoids acting out what he wants to do to Mark. Chris and Dustin both give him weird looks about it, and Eduardo avoids their eyes. Avoids Mark's eyes too, and they way that they look at him so openly and willing.
"Wardo," Dustin says, "is shit between you and Mark okay?"
"Yeah," Eduardo says, "everything is fine between us. Why do you ask?"
Dustin shrugs, "Mark's just been acting kind of weird lately."
The thing is that Dustin doesn't need to tell Eduardo, because he knows. He knows because Mark tells him that he'll go to bed in five more minutes and then Eduardo has to resist the urge to punish Mark for not behaving. The thing is that Eduardo isn't very good at resisting his urges when it comes to Mark, so the third time Mark tell him "five more minutes," Eduardo snaps.
"Mark," Eduardo tightens his grip on Mark's shoulders, "go to bed or I'm confiscating your laptop."
He feels more than hears the whine Mark gives at that, and it concerns him, but Mark shuts down his computer and he forgets to be concerned. Eduardo smiles when the computer's shut off, ducking to press a kiss to Mark's forehead. It's something he's done once or twice before, and he tries very hard to convince himself that it's just platonic. It's very hard to believe that when Mark's eyes flutter shut, though.
"Thank you," Eduardo whispers when he pulls away, "for behaving, Mark."
Mark's lips are parted, just slightly, and when he opens his eyes it feels like everything has slowed down for Eduardo. Mark's looking at him, slightly confused, but then he curls his fingers into Eduardo's shirt and surges up. Their lips connect, and one of them moans. Maybe both of them, Eduardo can't be sure because the world tilts and goes out of focus until everything is just Mark's mouth on his.
Eduardo pulls away first, and Mark whines, but Eduardo can't. He can't breathe and it takes a few seconds before he feels levelheaded enough to-
"Wardo," Mark says, and it sounds less like a name and more like a prayer.
-fuck. Eduardo isn't level-headed enough to do anything at this point, not with Mark's fingers curled into his shirt and his eyes telling Eduardo that he's too fucking trusting and this isn't good. This isn't good at all, so Eduardo gently frees his shirt from Mark's grip and smiles in what he hopes is an apologetic manner.
"Sorry. Sorry, I just. I need to think, okay? Go to bed, Mark. I'll see you tomorrow."
The expression on Mark's face is somewhere between crushed and hopeful. Eduardo wants to kiss it away, wants to wrap around Mark until he looks less like a kicked puppy and more like Mark, but Eduardo can't do this right now. He flees, not bothering to look back at Mark.
Mark gets the feeling that Eduardo is confused. He's not sure why Eduardo is confused, because the whole thing seems pretty simple to him, but Eduardo's mildly avoiding the subject and avoiding telling Mark what to do, and Mark just feels lost. He doesn't know what to do, doesn't know what to say to make Eduardo go back to the way things were, so Mark waits because he's shit at asking for things. Eduardo knows that, so it's Eduardo's job to fix everything. That's what Eduardo does, he fixes things.
They dance around each other for a week, and finally Chris pulls Mark aside and stares at him like he's not sure how to start the conversation he wants to be having. He sighs.
"What's going on between you and Eduardo?"
"Nothing," Mark says truthfully, "why do you ask?"
"Because you two had a . . . thing . . . and now you're acting weird when you're together. Did you guys have a fight or something?"
Mark snorts, "It might have been easier if we had."
Because they didn't have a fight. They just kissed and then Eduardo ran away and left Mark lost and more than a little confused. And Eduardo's not fixing things, so Mark's getting impatient and fuck everything he'll fix it if Eduardo's not going to.
When Dustin and Chris are out, Mark asks Eduardo to come over. Eduardo does, and Mark's sitting on the couch when he comes to the door. Mark lets Eduardo in and sighs.
"We need to talk, I think."
Eduardo runs a hand through his hair, "Yeah. Yeah, I think we do."
They don't start talking immediately, because both of them are mostly working out everything that they want to say to each other in the least awkward phrases. Mark doesn't ever start conversations like this either, so it's Eduardo who finally breaks the silence.
"What are we doing, Mark? Like, what do you want from me?"
Mark shrugs, "I want-no, I need you to give me orders. They make everything make sense, like code or math."
Eduardo laughs, and it's a little hysterical. Mark's worried, but then Eduardo shakes his head and Mark relaxes. He waits for Eduardo to speak again.
"Is that all you want? You just want me to boss you around like you boss everyone else around, and you'll just listen to me? I don't . . . I don't understand, Mark."
"I just. I feel grounded when you tell me what to do," Mark says to the coffee table, "It's not all I want, though. I want to . . ."
Mark stops, unsure of how to word the next part. Eduardo waits, and Mark doesn't say anything else, just moves across the couch to where Eduardo is sitting and straddles him. He tilts his head, fitting their lips together, and Eduardo's hands automatically settle on the curve of his ass. Mark makes a happy, content noise and they just sit like that, making out on the couch, for what seems like an infinite amount of time. Eventually, though, they break apart for air.
"This," Mark says after he regains his breath, "I want this too."
"Like," Eduardo pauses, obviously searching for words, "Like friends with benefits?"
Mark shakes his head, "No. Like dating."
There's a silence, and Mark thinks that maybe he said something wrong, maybe that's not what Eduardo wants, and he panics. Eduardo just buries his face in the curve of Mark's neck, though, and pulls Mark closer. Mark's not sure what that means, but it doesn't seem bad so he goes with Eduardo's movements.
"I need you," Mark whispers.
He feels Eduardo smile into his shoulder.
"I'm here for you," Eduardo whispers back.
And that's how it starts. They don't have everything figured out, but nobody has everything figured out. The nice thing about not having everything figured out is that they sort of get to figure it out together. Like how it's probably a good thing that Mark usually wears hoodies because, err. Eduardo likes leaving marks. He doesn't really think too much when he does it, usually just looks down after he's made one and feels this overwhelming rush of mine he's not entirely sure is healthy. The first couple of weeks, Mark's neck is completely littered with dark spots of color and Eduardo doesn't feel the least bit sorry about it.
Sometimes Eduardo catches Mark touching his fingers to one in the bathroom or after, when they're lying close to each other and not-quite touching. Sometimes, while he was settling back into his skin, Mark would just lie there next to Eduardo and when he was okay with everything again he'd press against Eduardo, nose in Eduardo's collarbone, and Eduardo would pull him close.
"Are you okay?"
"Fine," Mark would usually say.
Sometimes he'd just say no and Eduardo would have to wait until Mark could figure out why he wasn't okay, sometimes he wouldn't say anything and Eduardo would have to make Mark look at him and ask what's your safeword? and Mark would say cold fusion so Eduardo knew that he was fine. It's a lot of trial and error, and it takes them a while before they're even that far because Eduardo is afraid of the look in Mark's eye at first, and they've got to stumble their way through this is what I like and this is what I'm not sure about and this is not interesting to me.
It's a lot of talking. Eduardo wasn't aware that a relationship could take so much talking before anything actually happened, but Mark shrugs and says that communication is important. It's sort of a weird thing for Mark to say, considering how much trouble he routinely has just telling Eduardo what he needs or what he wants because he expects Eduardo to just . . . read his mind or something.
Either way, they've got a list of things that work and a list of things that don't. Mark doesn't seem to dislike too many things, so what goes to either side of the list is mostly up to Eduardo a lot of the time. He's more for things that make him feel like Mark is his rather than things that hurt Mark, but Eduardo is slowly learning what Mark can and can't take, pain-wise, so they keep certain things.
The most surprising thing is probably the breathplay. It's . . . Mark brings it up and Eduardo's not sure about it at first, but Mark sits him down and rambles on about it for ten or fifteen minutes until Eduardo laughs and says okay okay, I'll try it. There is, as Eduardo learns, more than one way of cutting off someone's air supply. Usually they go for tame, Eduardo holding Mark's breath off and kissing him until they're both a little breathless, but sometimes Eduardo will push Mark onto the bed and straddle his chest, sitting on it enough so that Mark can't breathe the same way he normally does. Other times, Eduardo will just look over at Mark and say thirty seconds and Mark will hold his own breath. Eventually, Eduardo works up the courage to close his fingers around Mark's throat and squeeze. Sometimes that leaves marks in the shape of Eduardo's fingers for a moment, and there's always this small rush of danger that runs through the moment when Eduardo does it.
For everything they have figured out, though, there's something that they haven't. Actually, the whole sex area in general is kind of a gray category for them, because Mark's just not that into certain things of a sexual nature. Most things of a sexual nature, actually. Like, he's fairly okay with giving but he doesn't seem to like receiving. They had tried that once, and Mark had actually safeworded out of it. They had talked about it afterward, and Eduardo had asked what, precisely, Mark hadn't liked so he could maybe avoid it in the future.
Mark had shrugged, "All of it."
And that had been that. Eduardo hadn't pushed much farther, just left it as something they could figure out as time went on. It was kind of a difficult thing to keep in mind, sometimes, because what Mark wanted out of what they were doing and what Eduardo wanted out of what they were doing didn't quite match up all of the time. It was kind of difficult to think of the games they were playing without thinking of them in terms of the end goal being orgasm. Eduardo asked about it, once, and Mark had frowned.
"I like knowing that you're proud of me. That's what I want out of this."
It's a really simple and clear fact in Mark's head. There are certain things that Mark likes better than others, which mostly have to do with how much Eduardo likes what they're doing, how safe it feels, and how likely it is to make Eduardo forget that Mark isn't . . . Orgasms are not the point, and sometimes Eduardo forgets that. Mark sometimes thinks that maybe this frustrates Eduardo, the fact that Mark doesn't seem to get as much out of what they're doing, but the actual sex part of what they do feels . . . Mark doesn't like it as much. He likes going down on Eduardo, likes when Eduardo forgets himself and tugs on Mark's hair, sharp and grounding. It's when it's the other way around that Mark feels like he's cornered and . . . It just doesn't work as well. They've fucked once or twice, and that was . . . It hadn't been horrible?
The first time they fuck is pretty typically spur-of-the-moment and slightly awkward, given that Mark couldn't quite decide if he actually liked it or not. So, after that Eduardo gets . . . creative with his methods. When he first hands Mark the enema bag, though, Mark is understandably confused. Before he can say anything though, Eduardo leans in to whisper in Mark's ear.
"You're going to give me an enema. I though we'd try something different, seeing as you didn't seem to be enthused about last time."
Which seems to put Mark at ease. He still seems unsure about what to do, though, so Eduardo guides Mark through it and gives him very clear, very specific instructions. It's something that Eduardo has gotten better at, because it's what Mark needs and so Eduardo wants to give it to him.
Overall, it's not so bad. It's kind of weird, at first, but Eduardo's pretty much come to the conclusion that everything is weird at first. One he relaxes and actually lets himself just feel what's going on, it's a lot better. Mark keeps checking in on Eduardo, asking if it's too much/not enough/okay, and Eduardo can tell that it's mostly for reassurance that Eduardo is okay. So Eduardo tells him he's fine, and there's a couple seconds of silence before Mark asks, quietly, what's it feel like?
And Eduardo should probably tell Mark that's uncalled for, but he feels a little bit indisposed at the moment, so instead he just sorts out what words to use and settles on full. Eduardo feels Mark's fingers tracing along his stomach, investigating and curious. Eduardo moans, and Mark pulls his fingers away. Eduardo can tell that he thinks it's a bad sound.
"No," Eduardo manages, "it's fine, you just. Surprised me."
There's a moment of hesitation before Mark sets his fingers back against Eduardo's stomach and starts exploring again. Eduardo feels like his entire body is electrified and every touch of Mark's fingers sets off a chain reaction of sparks that just ends up making Eduardo sob with the feeling.
At some point, Eduardo says Mark, stop and Mark does, ever obedient. He'd gone over this part with Mark before, gone over how Mark had to hold the bag and make sure Eduardo didn't, like, fall onto his face. Once they're in the bathroom, though, Mark respectfully removes himself and for that Eduardo is thankful. There aren't a whole lot of things he's done that are well and truly embarrassing, but there's just something about relieving yourself in the presence of someone else that's just weird.
When Eduardo comes out of the bathroom afterward, Mark looks slightly worried, so Eduardo gives him a weary smile. Mark seems to be okay with that as an indicator that Eduardo is okay too and wraps around him like an octopus. Eduardo laughs, and Mark just burrows in closer.
"Mark," Eduardo tries to slip out of Mark's grasp, "Mark, let go. The bed is right over there."
It's enough like an order that Mark lets go and lets Eduardo sit on the edge of the bed before wrapping around him again. His face is pressed into the curve of Eduardo's neck, and Eduardo rubs at Mark's back. There's something a little off about Mark, but Eduardo knows better than to try and talk to Mark before Mark wants to talk.
Finally, Mark says: "Did you like that? I'm not like you, I can't tell when you're enjoying things."
"Mark," Eduardo frames Mark's face and touches their forehead together, "did I use my safeword?"
"No."
"I liked it, Mark," Eduardo presses a kiss to the corner of Mark's mouth, "Sometimes you just have to trust me, okay? The bigger question is did you like that?"
Mark buries his face in the curve of Eduardo's neck for a moment again, and Eduardo lets him hide for a second.
"I could feel it," Mark mumbles, "the water inside of you. And it felt, like, I don't know. It felt like you were full of me. Like I was doing something for you. I liked that."
Eduardo feels the press of Mark's lips to his neck, and he grips Mark just a little tighter. Mark relaxes against him, and Eduardo thinks that maybe, sometimes, they surprise each other. Either way, Eduardo reasons, they'll probably be doing that again. He's not sure that it would be a good idea to try the beer solution that he read about because he needs to maintain his judgment, but there are plenty of other solutions that seemed interesting.
Actually, there are a lot of things they can do that don't trip Mark's triggers. Once, Eduardo handed Mark a glass dildo (Mark had long since given up on trying to figure out where Eduardo got these things). It had been refrigerated, and Mark had given Eduardo a vaguely confused look before Eduardo had given Mark a grin and leaned in close.
"I want you to fuck me with it," Eduardo had said, "yeah?"
And Mark had done it, uncertain at first. It hadn't been anything they'd done before, and it had felt slightly awkward at first, but Mark decided that he actually liked this better. Not necessarily the fact that the dildo was cold, although Eduardo seemed to like that part, but the fact that he was getting what he liked out of what they were doing and Eduardo was getting what he liked. So sometimes that was how it worked. Or sometimes . . . Sometimes Mark just watched.
He'd sit at the foot of Eduardo's bed at Eduardo's request and just watch as Eduardo got himself off. That was actually interesting, from Mark's perspective, because he got to see all the ways that Eduardo fell apart playing out in slow motion. Well, slower than it usually felt anyway.
Eduardo had this thing for talking that Mark wasn't even sure he realized he had. A lot of the time when they were in a scene (Mark wasn't actually sure that term applied all the time, but he didn't have a better one) Eduardo's orders would be to talk or tell him how it felt or something of that nature. It was the same when Mark was watching usually. Eduardo says something like tell me about something you wish we could try and Mark searches through all the things in his brain and picks out something just a little ridiculous.
"I saw this porn flick where the guy got fucked with a gun," Mark says, "It was kind of interesting, in the sense that there was a certain amount of danger to what they were doing, but I'm not sure that I'd actually want to try it. The last time you tried fucking me it didn't go too badly, but I'd not sure how I'd take something like that. Is that something you'd be interested in, being fucked with a gun? I'm pretty sure it wasn't an actual gun in the video, and they've got to have dildos shaped like guns. They have tentacle dildos and I would think that a gun-shape would be as least as popular, don't you?"
And Eduardo would groan and Mark would watch the way his hand moved, the way his eyes fluttered shut. The questions were mostly rhetorical, in the sense that Mark recognized most people found it somewhat difficult to talk through sexual stimulation, but Eduardo usually remembered them and gave Mark the answers later, when they were curled together on his bed and just resting.
"It could be interesting," Eduardo says later, "although I think that might require a lot of prep to make the scene run smoothly. Would you even be comfortable with that, Mark? You'd be the aggressor, I assume, unless you want to be the one fucked with the gun."
And Mark shrugs and says, "If that's what you wanted, I'd be okay with that."
Because that was mostly what it comes down to. As long as Mark isn't totally opposed to the idea, he'll try it if Eduardo wants to. There aren't a lot of things that Mark is opposed to, in general, and they mostly have to do with him being the sole focus of sexual pleasure, so the range of things they actually end up trying is probably pretty large compared to most people.
Some of the things get discarded because Eduardo isn't comfortable with them, and some of the things get discarded because they just didn't fit into Mark's level of comfort or they came too close to the things that he was uncomfortable with, but they were both generally willing to try anything once because they didn't really have a very clear set of boundaries yet. That would probably worry some people, but Mark tended to think that the whole of what they were doing would worry some people so he didn't give it that much thought.
Eduardo is ridiculously careful about most things and Mark feels safe around him, so he tends to think that they're doing okay on the safety front-especially since Eduardo is actually really into safety. He tends to do a lot of research into things before they do a scene involving anything new. Mark knows, when he enters a scene, that Eduardo scoped things out to see if they were things that could potentially put Mark into an uncomfortable position, which Mark appreciates. He finds it easier to fall into a scene that way. Eduardo gently pushes Mark back onto the bed.
He says: "Lie down."
and Mark stretches out on the plastic tablecloth covering Eduardo's bed. He'd ask about why it was there, only it's pretty clear from the stuff Eduardo has set out on the bed. There's a carton of strawberry ice cream, a bottle of chocolate syrup, and some other stuff that Mark's not particularly concerned with. He lies there, hands at his sides, and waits for Eduardo to start doing . . . Whatever it is he's going to do. There's some rustling but Mark's mostly looking at the ceiling, so the first spoonful of ice cream hitting his abdomen makes him hiss in surprise.
"Strawberries," Eduardo says as he randomly drops more ice cream across Mark's stomach, "symbolized fertility because of their numerous seeds. That's why they're an aphrodisiac."
The ice cream is melting. Mark can feel it slide across the plane of his body as he shifts slightly, and then Mark feels Eduardo drizzling chocolate over the ice cream. At least he assumes it's the chocolate, because he didn't see anything else quite like that set out. In any case, Eduardo's words confirm his suspicion.
"Chocolate has a stimulant that increases the desire for physical contact and it probably the most widely consumed aphrodisiac. And it tastes good with strawberry."
If Mark had been really thinking, the swirl of Eduardo's tongue just above his navel wouldn't have been surprising, but Mark hadn't exactly been thinking so he gives a little gasp of surprise. Eduardo is smirking now, Mark can feel it, and the ice cream is seriously melting and getting all over the place. Which, Mark supposes, could be part of the point. Either way, Eduardo's licking it all off and Mark's squirming because it's just profoundly weird to have a warm, wet tongue chasing after all the cool, sticky ice cream. It's not bad, but it's making Mark a little bit confused as to what he should be doing.
Eduardo's tongue dips into his collarbone, where there isn't even any chocolate sauce or ice cream, and Mark shivers. He feels Eduardo press a kiss to his neck before Eduardo's traveling downward again, and then he's clean. Mostly, because there's a thin layer of stickiness that feels like it's coating his entire midsection, but Mark's surprisingly okay with that. He's almost settled into the feeling when Eduardo presses something to his lips.
"Fig," Eduardo says, "the Greeks used to celebrate their harvest with a ritual involving lots of fucking. Open up, I want you to taste this."
Mark obeys, letting Eduardo press the fruit into his mouth. He takes a bite and chews. The fig tastes sweet, and it's chewy but there's what Mark assumes are seeds, which are tiny little pockets of crunch. He swallows, only barely before Eduardo presses their lips together, licking into Mark's mouth and humming thoughtfully.
"I think the Greeks may have been on to something. What do you think?"
"Can I have the rest of it?"
It's not quite an answer to Eduardo's question, but Mark actually does want the rest of the fig. Eduardo feeds it to him, and then Mark looses track of where Eduardo is for a second until there's another spoonful of ice cream being dropped onto his stomach and he hisses again. Eduardo laughs, bright and cheerful. Mark thinks he's having way too much fun.
"Is there some reason you're treating me like your personal plate?"
Eduardo licks up his spoonful of ice cream, "I'm hungry. I can share with you, if that's what you're upset about."
Before Mark has a proper answer, Eduardo's pressing their lips together and feeding him sloshy, supremely melted strawberry ice cream. Eduardo tastes like the ice cream and the chocolate and a little like the fig. It's a heady combination, and when Eduardo pulls away, smirking down at Mark, Mark can't quite form words. Eduardo disappears again, and this time Mark's almost expecting the ice cream dropping onto his chest and he only shivers at it. Eduardo pauses for more chocolate sauce, and Mark can tell that he's going to be a sticky, sticky mess when Eduardo's done with him.
He's not actually sure how much ice cream Eduardo eats, or how long he makes Mark lie on his bed as his own personal plate, but he knows that Eduardo sometimes pauses to feed him ice cream or another fig. There's the pop! of a bottle being opened, and Mark wonders what Eduardo could possibly have. He's very firm on the no alcohol during scenes rule, so Mark knows it isn't anything alcoholic but he can't actually figure out what it is until Eduardo presses their lips together and passes him a mouthful of sparkling apple cider.
"Champagne substitute," Eduardo says, "although apples are aphrodisiacs in their own right, being the fruit of sin and all. Do you want more?"
"Yes."
Eduardo takes another sip, directly from the bottle, and passes it to Mark. Not all of it makes it into Mark's mouth, and he can feel it dripping down his face. Everything about him feels sticky and used, but Mark also feels at ease. He's not quite sure why, but he'll bring it up with Eduardo later. For the moment, Eduardo passes him another mouthful of cider and Mark just lets himself be.
When Eduardo is done, however much later, he presses his lips to Mark's cheek. It's sticky, and he tells Mark to stay for a sec and Mark stays until Eduardo comes back with a wet cloth and wipes him down before gently guiding him into the shower. Mark mostly lets Eduardo do the work, because he's not entirely sure that he can get his arms to work correctly at the moment anyway.
Eduardo runs the loofah over Mark's body and washes the soap away before working the shampoo through Mark's hair and washing that away too. Mark curls up next to Eduardo on the couch when they're out of the shower and watching bad Friday-night television. They never really go out unless Chris or Dustin insists on dragging them along somewhere. That's sort of how they end up at the drag ball.
Actually, no. There's a drag ball, which is not something that Mark would normally be caught dead at, and when Chris asks him if he wants to go, Mark declines. Or, he did decline and then Eduardo had laid out a dress, blue, and some stockings and a wig. Mark had given him a look that said but I'm not going to the Chris' thing and Eduardo's lips had curved into a smile. He had walked over, pulled Mark against him and bent to whisper in his ear put it on, we're going out.
Which is actually how Mark ends up at the drag ball decked in a dress that flounces around his knees and stockings with a proper garter belt and lingerie, because when Eduardo decides that they're going to do things then they don't do them halfway. Nothing about them is halfway, which is why their relationship carries over into aspects of their relationship that it probably shouldn't. They generally don't . . . This is the first time they've really done a scene in public. That's what it is at heart, Mark knows.
To the rest of their friends, it'll probably look like Eduardo convinced Mark to come and coaxed him into wearing something he normally wouldn't be caught dead in, but Mark knows that isn't what this is. Eduardo hadn't done any convincing, he had just told Mark to get dressed and Mark did it because Eduardo wanted him to do it and he didn't feel uncomfortable yet. Before they had left Eduardo's room, Eduardo had said safeword? and Mark had said cold fusion, like always. Eduardo had touched their foreheads together, not risking a kiss because the lipstick he was wearing would probably smear, and told Mark that they would leave as soon as Mark said the safeword, if that's what he wanted to do.
That's not what Mark wanted to do, although there was a certain amount of unease in the situation. It was mostly because Mark wasn't used to what they did being spread out in the open-past the occasional slipped command in front of Dustin and Chris, of course, but they had been dealing with Mark and Eduardo's game before it began and weren't particularly concerned as long as both Eduardo and Mark didn't do anything legitimately harmful to each other.
Eduardo gives Mark's hip a squeeze with the arm wrapped around his waist and then he's guiding Mark around until they find Chris and Dustin, who waves. Chris looks Mark over and makes an impressed noise, glancing over to Eduardo.
"Do I even want to know what you had to do to get him into that?"
Eduardo looks over at Mark, smirking, "Nothing. He changed his mind at the last minute - didn't you, Mark?"
"For simplicity, I decided to come instead of sitting alone by myself because you're all at a party without me, regardless of the . . . questionable choice of dress code."
Chris gives Eduardo a look like I don't know what you guys are playing at, but I trust that you guys know what you're doing, and pulls Dustin back over to the punch table. Eduardo watches them go and then ducks down to whisper into Mark's ear.
"I bet everyone here knows how easily you bent to me. You didn't even put up a fight, just said yes, Eduardo and got dressed."
"You gave me an order," Mark says simply, "and I follow your orders."
Eduardo raises an eyebrow, "Did I say you could talk?"
Mark swallows, aware that he's misstepped, and shakes his head. Eduardo gives Mark's hip another squeeze and then gives him a gentle push toward the punch and other refreshments. Mark glances over at Eduardo, who mouths get drinks, and then he goes to the table and picks up a red, plastic cup for each of them. Returning to Eduardo, Mark averts his eyes and hands the cup over. Eduardo takes it, fingers brushing over Mark's, and says thank you. It makes Mark smile, and he lets himself be guided around by Eduardo for the rest of the night.
There is something profoundly weird about the way he feels at the moment. Part of him is flushed with embarrassment from every time he missteps and Eduardo has to gently correct him, but part of him has the same feeling he always does when they do this: warm and loved. This is something new, and Mark knows that when they're curled next to each other later, Eduardo will ask him about it and Mark will say that he needs to think about it some more, because he does.
He's really not sure what to think about the current situation. There's some hint of thrill to what they're doing, because no one knows that Mark is under Eduardo's orders. Mark's half afraid that someone will point at them and say something like those two are bringing bedroom games into public space and Mark will hide behind Eduardo and try to remember what safety feels like.
It doesn't happen, though. They make it out of the party without incident and then Eduardo takes Mark back to his dorm and washes away Mark's make-up, pressing a kiss to his forehead and telling Mark that he's proud, that Mark's so fucking good.
That's all Mark needs to know he did okay, to know that Eduardo still loves him. When they talk about it, afterward, Mark says that was actually interesting and they could maybe try it again sometime. Eduardo smiles at that, but they don't plan anything like it right away, they just go back to their usual play and Eduardo tells Mark to sit on the edge of the bed. Mark complies, sitting and folding his hands behind him automatically.
"You're going to be quiet," Eduardo says as he snaps the wrist cuffs around Mark's hand, "No matter what I do, you're going to be quiet. Can you handle that?"
Mark looks up at Eduardo, stares for a second, and then nods. Eduardo presses a kiss to his forehead and then ties a blindfold around his eyes. Mark stills, face still upturned, and Eduardo presses another kiss to his forehead before pressing his dorm keys into Mark's hand.
"Can you see anything?"
"No."
Secure in the knowledge that Mark doesn't ever lie when Eduardo asks him a direct question, Eduardo goes on with what he has planned. He runs his fingers down Mark's face, gauging Mark's reactions, but Mark doesn't make any noise and he doesn't move. Picking up a feather, Eduardo runs it down Mark's chest and Mark gasps. Fitting his fingers around Mark's chin, Eduardo forces Mark to look upward.
"You said you weren't going to make noise. You're not doing very well at keeping your word, Mark. Should I gag you? Do you need help staying silent?" Eduardo releases Mark. "Nod yes or no to answer."
Slowly, Mark nods. It's about what Eduardo expected, seeing as Mark isn't particularly good at making no noise at all. He's good at staying quiet, but he isn't good at staying silent. Carefully, Eduardo fits the ball gag into Mark's mouth and lets Mark adjust to it before picking up the feather again. He traces the curve of Mark's face with it, listening for noise. Mark seems to have settled into himself, though, and the gag seems to be helping. Satisfied with that, Eduardo continues tracing aimless patterns along Mark's skin with the feather. When he gets tired of doing that, he takes the silk scarf he'd laid out earlier and wraps it around Mark's neck.
Using the ends to pull Mark forward, Eduardo nips at Mark's earlobe. He releases Mark, steadying him when he wobbles uncertainly, and reaches for the gloves. Sliding one on, he runs a hand over Mark's chest with it and feels Mark flinch. It's not a bad flinch, Eduardo knows, because Mark's fingers are still curled around Eduardo's keys, but more of an unsure flinch. He doesn't give Mark any time to adjust, though, running his fingers across Mark's chest again. This time he follows it with the silk and Mark doesn't seem to know if he wants to rock forward into Eduardo's touch or away from it. Eduardo's not even sure if Mark knows exactly where Eduardo is, or if the whole thing just feels like anonymous hands having their way with him. He'll ask Mark later, when Mark is allowed to talk.
For the moment, Eduardo just rubs a gloved finger over Mark's nipple. Mark leans into it this time and makes a soft, almost pleading noise that is muffled around the gag. Using the scarf to tug Mark forward again, Eduardo whispers into Mark's ear.
"For every noise, I'm going add five minutes in the blindfold when I'm done with you. You have five minutes."
Punctuating the statement with a particularly vicious rub of Mark's nipple that would probably hurt even without the drag of the rubber, Eduardo settles Mark back into his original position. Mark stays quiet. Eduardo smiles, although Mark can't see it, and tangles his ungloved fingers in Mark's hair, tilting his head back. He picks up the feather and runs it down Mark's face again, watching as Mark tilts toward the touch.
Trailing the feather down Mark's neck, Eduardo watches as Mark shivers but doesn't make a sound. They'd talked about this before, Eduardo teasing Mark with sensations that he couldn't quite identify, and they'd even done it with chilled things, but this was new. The silence thing was new, just another way for Mark to obey Eduardo's every whim, but Eduardo suspected that the sensations were not. Mark knew the tools that Eduardo was using anyway, because they'd been laid out before Eduardo had blindfolded him, but it didn't matter. The point of the blindfold was not to keep Mark in the dark, it was to make him earn the right to see again. If Mark was good, he could have his sight back. If he wasn't, then he'd have to stay in the dark.
Releasing Mark's hair, Eduardo started tracing haphazard patterns across Mark, alternating rubber with silk, and watching Mark stay still while listening for any noises he might make. There were only two more before Eduardo decided that Mark had probably been pushed far enough, judging by his breathing patterns, and tugged the glove and scarf off. He removed the ball gag from Mark's mouth and let Mark catch his breath before telling him his final punishment time.
"Fifteen minutes."
"I'm sorry," Mark whispers, "I didn't -"
"Did I give you permission to talk? Maybe you still need the gag. Or maybe I should gag you another way."
Mark stills, lips pressed together in a thin line. Eduardo can almost see the gears in his brain whirling, trying to figure out what Eduardo is going to do next. He doesn't doubt that Mark probably knows what he's going to do, but that's fine. Carefully, Eduardo settles Mark into a kneeling position on the floor and stands in front of him. Mark is still silent, waiting, and Eduardo glances to the clock before doing anything else. Fourteen minutes. He can work with fourteen minutes.
Not bothering to hide the noise, Eduardo unzips his pants and presses the head of his cock to Mark's lips. Mark opens his mouth, taking Eduardo in and waiting. It's a sign of obedience, because Eduardo hasn't told him to do anything yet. Eduardo pets Mark's hair, before anchoring his fingers in it and forcing Mark to take him. Glancing down, Mark's fingers are still curled around the keys, so Eduardo doesn't stop. He just fucks Mark's mouth. Mark stays silent, just taking it and when Eduardo comes he glances over at the clock. One minute, but Mark has been good, so Eduardo kneels down in front of him and unties the blindfold. Mark blinks at Eduardo, slowly, and Eduardo can tell he's not quite all there yet.
Pressing a kiss to Mark's forehead, Eduardo reaches behind him and unsnaps the wrist cuffs, gently prying his dorm keys from Mark's hand and tossing them in the general direction of his bedside table. He helps Mark up, guiding him toward the bathroom and getting into the shower with him after a slight hiccup of undressing.
Washing Mark down is something that helps pull him back into himself instead of the weird, half-there person he becomes during their play. It used to mildly freak Eduardo out, but now he just holds a washcloth over Mark's eyes while he washes the shampoo out of his hair and sits him down on the toilet while he dries Mark off. It's just another part of the routine, and secretly? It's sort of Eduardo's favorite part. Mark turns into something like a big kitten when he's like this, not quite aware of his surroundings and nuzzling into Eduardo's neck in the shower. He makes tiny, pleased noises when Eduardo tries to tame his hair into something slightly more manageable, and worried ones when Eduardo moves away to grab the clothes he'd set in the bathroom earlier.
Eduardo quiets him, pressing another kiss to his forehead, and quietly tells him to get dressed. Mark does, giving Eduardo time to dry off himself and pull a t-shirt and sweatpants on. When he's done, Mark hugs him and Eduardo runs his fingers through Mark's still-damp hair.
"C'mon. Let's watch a movie, okay?"
It's fairly easy to get Mark to walk over to the couch and sit down, although he curls up with his head in Eduardo's lap once Eduardo sits down. There's some kind of weird, B-rate movie on the television and Eduardo only half-watches, fingers running through Mark's hair. At some point, Mark recovers and Eduardo only knows because Mark talks.
"That's physically impossible."
"It's a movie," Eduardo says, "pretend it makes sense."
Mark makes a mildly disgruntled noise, and Eduardo laughs. Sometimes it's easy to forget that this is nice too, just sitting on a couch and watching poorly planned, horribly written movies with Mark, who takes every opportunity to point out precisely what's wrong with what's happening on the screen. They don't talk about it right away, because Mark always needs to mull over things and this is something that Eduardo wants him to actually think about instead of making quick judgment, so he lets Mark bring up the topic whenever he wants. For the moment, though, he's content to run his fingers through Mark's hair and listen to Mark rip apart every last inaccuracy about the godawful murder mystery drama that's unfolding on their screen.
forward?
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Day 183, Word Count: 8102
Theme: July; Celebrate
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into the unknown
It's not a conscious decision on Mark's part, for most intents and purposes. It's just that Eduardo will say:
"Mark, shut it down and go to sleep."
and Mark will do it. He won't ask questions, he'll just save what he's working on and shut his computer down before crawling into bed. It never occurs to him that he's behaving oddly until Chris mentions it. They're drunk off their asses, and Eduardo says:
"Mark, don't forget to drink water."
and so Mark opens a water bottle once he's done with the beer in his hand and drinks from it, slowly. Chris blinks, and look between Eduardo and Mark, considering. He says:
"You really only listen to Eduardo."
and Mark wants to say that's not true, but he would be lying if he did. When Chris or Dustin say roughly the same things that Eduardo does, Mark ignores them. He might not even acknowledge that they've said anything at all. When Eduardo says anything, though, Mark listens. So Mark shrugs as an answer for Chris, noncommittal. Eduardo stares at Chris with his wide, forest-creature eyes. Chris shifts.
"It just means he likes me more," Eduardo says, finally, and smiles.
The words are meant as a joke, but they make Mark feel warm inside. He blames it on the fact that he's drunk, but in his heart he knows that's a lie. He does like Eduardo best, and the fact that Eduardo recognizes that, knows it, makes Mark happy. That feeling alone makes Mark content, and he would be fine if that was all he ever got from Eduardo. It's all he ever gets for a long time, actually, and that's okay. It's not a big deal to Mark, on the whole, but he can't help wanting more.
He thinks Eduardo notices, though, because Eduardo starts noticing most things fairly quickly. Even if he doesn't notice, he starts touching Mark.
"Mark," a hand on his shoulder, "go to bed. You've been awake forever."
A hand on the back of his neck, "Drink some water, Mark. Before you go to sleep."
"Come to dinner," fingers circled around his wrist, "Mark."
It drives Mark insane, the tiny touches and the brilliant smiles. He's not sure what to make of them, and he's not too eager to find out. If they don't mean that Eduardo wants him, then he doesn't really want to know what they mean because, Mark reasons, there is no cure for broken hearts.
Even if Mark asked, Eduardo's not really sure what it all means himself. In all fairness, though, it's not a conscious decision on Eduardo's part either. It's just that Mark is shit at taking care of himself and Eduardo can't sit back and watch Mark waste away to nothing. So maybe one day he sighs, because Mark has been at his computer for hours, has been running on Red Bull and willpower. Maybe he says:
"Mark, shut it down and go to sleep."
and Mark does it. It startles Eduardo, the first time it happens, because Mark doesn't listen to anyone as far as Eduardo knows-except for maybe his mother. So maybe it starts out as a curiosity, a game to see how far he can push Mark. Only Mark never gives, just blindly follows Eduardo's orders.
So maybe Eduardo starts touching Mark, finding excuses to touch him and feel skin on skin. Mark will lean into the touches, make soft and content noises, and Eduardo is addicted. All he wants is Mark, spread out underneath him on a bed. No, that's a lie.
He wants Mark sobbing and begging him for release, he wants Mark handcuffed and struggling, he wants Mark covered in bruises that tell the whole world who he belongs to, he wants wants wants.
That scares him sometimes, all of the things he wants of Mark and all the ways he wants to break him. It scares him and so he doesn't show it, hides it away within himself. Instead, he lets his fingers brush against the back of Mark's neck. Tells him to get some fucking sleep. Tries not to get impossibly hard when Mark sighs happily.
He's not entirely successful, which is okay because Mark is not entirely successful in communicating what he wants.
It's not that Mark doesn't know what he is-he's got an internet connection and he knows how to use Google, thank you very much-he just doesn't know how to phrase it. There isn't a way to say "I like when you give me orders" to your best friend that isn't very, very awkward, and that frustrates Mark. He knows about subs and doms and sadism and masochism and other kinky shit he's not really into. He just likes following orders, and maybe he's into pain or whatever, but he's not into masks or being a dog or any of the other common things he finds on the porn websites. He doesn't want a ~mistress~ or anything like that.
He just wants Eduardo to give him orders and smile at him when he follows them well.
If Eduardo never gives him anything else, Mark will be okay with just that. He doesn't really need anything else, honest, but he wants. He wants to drop to his knees and suck Eduardo off, wants Eduardo to bruise him, wants hands wrapped around his wrists and holding him down. He wants so much from Eduardo, but he doesn't know how to ask for it. Doesn't know if Eduardo would even want to give it to him.
So he doesn't ask.
And Eduardo maybe dances around Mark and avoids talking about the thing they're doing, avoids putting a name to it, avoids acting out what he wants to do to Mark. Chris and Dustin both give him weird looks about it, and Eduardo avoids their eyes. Avoids Mark's eyes too, and they way that they look at him so openly and willing.
"Wardo," Dustin says, "is shit between you and Mark okay?"
"Yeah," Eduardo says, "everything is fine between us. Why do you ask?"
Dustin shrugs, "Mark's just been acting kind of weird lately."
The thing is that Dustin doesn't need to tell Eduardo, because he knows. He knows because Mark tells him that he'll go to bed in five more minutes and then Eduardo has to resist the urge to punish Mark for not behaving. The thing is that Eduardo isn't very good at resisting his urges when it comes to Mark, so the third time Mark tell him "five more minutes," Eduardo snaps.
"Mark," Eduardo tightens his grip on Mark's shoulders, "go to bed or I'm confiscating your laptop."
He feels more than hears the whine Mark gives at that, and it concerns him, but Mark shuts down his computer and he forgets to be concerned. Eduardo smiles when the computer's shut off, ducking to press a kiss to Mark's forehead. It's something he's done once or twice before, and he tries very hard to convince himself that it's just platonic. It's very hard to believe that when Mark's eyes flutter shut, though.
"Thank you," Eduardo whispers when he pulls away, "for behaving, Mark."
Mark's lips are parted, just slightly, and when he opens his eyes it feels like everything has slowed down for Eduardo. Mark's looking at him, slightly confused, but then he curls his fingers into Eduardo's shirt and surges up. Their lips connect, and one of them moans. Maybe both of them, Eduardo can't be sure because the world tilts and goes out of focus until everything is just Mark's mouth on his.
Eduardo pulls away first, and Mark whines, but Eduardo can't. He can't breathe and it takes a few seconds before he feels levelheaded enough to-
"Wardo," Mark says, and it sounds less like a name and more like a prayer.
-fuck. Eduardo isn't level-headed enough to do anything at this point, not with Mark's fingers curled into his shirt and his eyes telling Eduardo that he's too fucking trusting and this isn't good. This isn't good at all, so Eduardo gently frees his shirt from Mark's grip and smiles in what he hopes is an apologetic manner.
"Sorry. Sorry, I just. I need to think, okay? Go to bed, Mark. I'll see you tomorrow."
The expression on Mark's face is somewhere between crushed and hopeful. Eduardo wants to kiss it away, wants to wrap around Mark until he looks less like a kicked puppy and more like Mark, but Eduardo can't do this right now. He flees, not bothering to look back at Mark.
Mark gets the feeling that Eduardo is confused. He's not sure why Eduardo is confused, because the whole thing seems pretty simple to him, but Eduardo's mildly avoiding the subject and avoiding telling Mark what to do, and Mark just feels lost. He doesn't know what to do, doesn't know what to say to make Eduardo go back to the way things were, so Mark waits because he's shit at asking for things. Eduardo knows that, so it's Eduardo's job to fix everything. That's what Eduardo does, he fixes things.
They dance around each other for a week, and finally Chris pulls Mark aside and stares at him like he's not sure how to start the conversation he wants to be having. He sighs.
"What's going on between you and Eduardo?"
"Nothing," Mark says truthfully, "why do you ask?"
"Because you two had a . . . thing . . . and now you're acting weird when you're together. Did you guys have a fight or something?"
Mark snorts, "It might have been easier if we had."
Because they didn't have a fight. They just kissed and then Eduardo ran away and left Mark lost and more than a little confused. And Eduardo's not fixing things, so Mark's getting impatient and fuck everything he'll fix it if Eduardo's not going to.
When Dustin and Chris are out, Mark asks Eduardo to come over. Eduardo does, and Mark's sitting on the couch when he comes to the door. Mark lets Eduardo in and sighs.
"We need to talk, I think."
Eduardo runs a hand through his hair, "Yeah. Yeah, I think we do."
They don't start talking immediately, because both of them are mostly working out everything that they want to say to each other in the least awkward phrases. Mark doesn't ever start conversations like this either, so it's Eduardo who finally breaks the silence.
"What are we doing, Mark? Like, what do you want from me?"
Mark shrugs, "I want-no, I need you to give me orders. They make everything make sense, like code or math."
Eduardo laughs, and it's a little hysterical. Mark's worried, but then Eduardo shakes his head and Mark relaxes. He waits for Eduardo to speak again.
"Is that all you want? You just want me to boss you around like you boss everyone else around, and you'll just listen to me? I don't . . . I don't understand, Mark."
"I just. I feel grounded when you tell me what to do," Mark says to the coffee table, "It's not all I want, though. I want to . . ."
Mark stops, unsure of how to word the next part. Eduardo waits, and Mark doesn't say anything else, just moves across the couch to where Eduardo is sitting and straddles him. He tilts his head, fitting their lips together, and Eduardo's hands automatically settle on the curve of his ass. Mark makes a happy, content noise and they just sit like that, making out on the couch, for what seems like an infinite amount of time. Eventually, though, they break apart for air.
"This," Mark says after he regains his breath, "I want this too."
"Like," Eduardo pauses, obviously searching for words, "Like friends with benefits?"
Mark shakes his head, "No. Like dating."
There's a silence, and Mark thinks that maybe he said something wrong, maybe that's not what Eduardo wants, and he panics. Eduardo just buries his face in the curve of Mark's neck, though, and pulls Mark closer. Mark's not sure what that means, but it doesn't seem bad so he goes with Eduardo's movements.
"I need you," Mark whispers.
He feels Eduardo smile into his shoulder.
"I'm here for you," Eduardo whispers back.
And that's how it starts. They don't have everything figured out, but nobody has everything figured out. The nice thing about not having everything figured out is that they sort of get to figure it out together. Like how it's probably a good thing that Mark usually wears hoodies because, err. Eduardo likes leaving marks. He doesn't really think too much when he does it, usually just looks down after he's made one and feels this overwhelming rush of mine he's not entirely sure is healthy. The first couple of weeks, Mark's neck is completely littered with dark spots of color and Eduardo doesn't feel the least bit sorry about it.
Sometimes Eduardo catches Mark touching his fingers to one in the bathroom or after, when they're lying close to each other and not-quite touching. Sometimes, while he was settling back into his skin, Mark would just lie there next to Eduardo and when he was okay with everything again he'd press against Eduardo, nose in Eduardo's collarbone, and Eduardo would pull him close.
"Are you okay?"
"Fine," Mark would usually say.
Sometimes he'd just say no and Eduardo would have to wait until Mark could figure out why he wasn't okay, sometimes he wouldn't say anything and Eduardo would have to make Mark look at him and ask what's your safeword? and Mark would say cold fusion so Eduardo knew that he was fine. It's a lot of trial and error, and it takes them a while before they're even that far because Eduardo is afraid of the look in Mark's eye at first, and they've got to stumble their way through this is what I like and this is what I'm not sure about and this is not interesting to me.
It's a lot of talking. Eduardo wasn't aware that a relationship could take so much talking before anything actually happened, but Mark shrugs and says that communication is important. It's sort of a weird thing for Mark to say, considering how much trouble he routinely has just telling Eduardo what he needs or what he wants because he expects Eduardo to just . . . read his mind or something.
Either way, they've got a list of things that work and a list of things that don't. Mark doesn't seem to dislike too many things, so what goes to either side of the list is mostly up to Eduardo a lot of the time. He's more for things that make him feel like Mark is his rather than things that hurt Mark, but Eduardo is slowly learning what Mark can and can't take, pain-wise, so they keep certain things.
The most surprising thing is probably the breathplay. It's . . . Mark brings it up and Eduardo's not sure about it at first, but Mark sits him down and rambles on about it for ten or fifteen minutes until Eduardo laughs and says okay okay, I'll try it. There is, as Eduardo learns, more than one way of cutting off someone's air supply. Usually they go for tame, Eduardo holding Mark's breath off and kissing him until they're both a little breathless, but sometimes Eduardo will push Mark onto the bed and straddle his chest, sitting on it enough so that Mark can't breathe the same way he normally does. Other times, Eduardo will just look over at Mark and say thirty seconds and Mark will hold his own breath. Eventually, Eduardo works up the courage to close his fingers around Mark's throat and squeeze. Sometimes that leaves marks in the shape of Eduardo's fingers for a moment, and there's always this small rush of danger that runs through the moment when Eduardo does it.
For everything they have figured out, though, there's something that they haven't. Actually, the whole sex area in general is kind of a gray category for them, because Mark's just not that into certain things of a sexual nature. Most things of a sexual nature, actually. Like, he's fairly okay with giving but he doesn't seem to like receiving. They had tried that once, and Mark had actually safeworded out of it. They had talked about it afterward, and Eduardo had asked what, precisely, Mark hadn't liked so he could maybe avoid it in the future.
Mark had shrugged, "All of it."
And that had been that. Eduardo hadn't pushed much farther, just left it as something they could figure out as time went on. It was kind of a difficult thing to keep in mind, sometimes, because what Mark wanted out of what they were doing and what Eduardo wanted out of what they were doing didn't quite match up all of the time. It was kind of difficult to think of the games they were playing without thinking of them in terms of the end goal being orgasm. Eduardo asked about it, once, and Mark had frowned.
"I like knowing that you're proud of me. That's what I want out of this."
It's a really simple and clear fact in Mark's head. There are certain things that Mark likes better than others, which mostly have to do with how much Eduardo likes what they're doing, how safe it feels, and how likely it is to make Eduardo forget that Mark isn't . . . Orgasms are not the point, and sometimes Eduardo forgets that. Mark sometimes thinks that maybe this frustrates Eduardo, the fact that Mark doesn't seem to get as much out of what they're doing, but the actual sex part of what they do feels . . . Mark doesn't like it as much. He likes going down on Eduardo, likes when Eduardo forgets himself and tugs on Mark's hair, sharp and grounding. It's when it's the other way around that Mark feels like he's cornered and . . . It just doesn't work as well. They've fucked once or twice, and that was . . . It hadn't been horrible?
The first time they fuck is pretty typically spur-of-the-moment and slightly awkward, given that Mark couldn't quite decide if he actually liked it or not. So, after that Eduardo gets . . . creative with his methods. When he first hands Mark the enema bag, though, Mark is understandably confused. Before he can say anything though, Eduardo leans in to whisper in Mark's ear.
"You're going to give me an enema. I though we'd try something different, seeing as you didn't seem to be enthused about last time."
Which seems to put Mark at ease. He still seems unsure about what to do, though, so Eduardo guides Mark through it and gives him very clear, very specific instructions. It's something that Eduardo has gotten better at, because it's what Mark needs and so Eduardo wants to give it to him.
Overall, it's not so bad. It's kind of weird, at first, but Eduardo's pretty much come to the conclusion that everything is weird at first. One he relaxes and actually lets himself just feel what's going on, it's a lot better. Mark keeps checking in on Eduardo, asking if it's too much/not enough/okay, and Eduardo can tell that it's mostly for reassurance that Eduardo is okay. So Eduardo tells him he's fine, and there's a couple seconds of silence before Mark asks, quietly, what's it feel like?
And Eduardo should probably tell Mark that's uncalled for, but he feels a little bit indisposed at the moment, so instead he just sorts out what words to use and settles on full. Eduardo feels Mark's fingers tracing along his stomach, investigating and curious. Eduardo moans, and Mark pulls his fingers away. Eduardo can tell that he thinks it's a bad sound.
"No," Eduardo manages, "it's fine, you just. Surprised me."
There's a moment of hesitation before Mark sets his fingers back against Eduardo's stomach and starts exploring again. Eduardo feels like his entire body is electrified and every touch of Mark's fingers sets off a chain reaction of sparks that just ends up making Eduardo sob with the feeling.
At some point, Eduardo says Mark, stop and Mark does, ever obedient. He'd gone over this part with Mark before, gone over how Mark had to hold the bag and make sure Eduardo didn't, like, fall onto his face. Once they're in the bathroom, though, Mark respectfully removes himself and for that Eduardo is thankful. There aren't a whole lot of things he's done that are well and truly embarrassing, but there's just something about relieving yourself in the presence of someone else that's just weird.
When Eduardo comes out of the bathroom afterward, Mark looks slightly worried, so Eduardo gives him a weary smile. Mark seems to be okay with that as an indicator that Eduardo is okay too and wraps around him like an octopus. Eduardo laughs, and Mark just burrows in closer.
"Mark," Eduardo tries to slip out of Mark's grasp, "Mark, let go. The bed is right over there."
It's enough like an order that Mark lets go and lets Eduardo sit on the edge of the bed before wrapping around him again. His face is pressed into the curve of Eduardo's neck, and Eduardo rubs at Mark's back. There's something a little off about Mark, but Eduardo knows better than to try and talk to Mark before Mark wants to talk.
Finally, Mark says: "Did you like that? I'm not like you, I can't tell when you're enjoying things."
"Mark," Eduardo frames Mark's face and touches their forehead together, "did I use my safeword?"
"No."
"I liked it, Mark," Eduardo presses a kiss to the corner of Mark's mouth, "Sometimes you just have to trust me, okay? The bigger question is did you like that?"
Mark buries his face in the curve of Eduardo's neck for a moment again, and Eduardo lets him hide for a second.
"I could feel it," Mark mumbles, "the water inside of you. And it felt, like, I don't know. It felt like you were full of me. Like I was doing something for you. I liked that."
Eduardo feels the press of Mark's lips to his neck, and he grips Mark just a little tighter. Mark relaxes against him, and Eduardo thinks that maybe, sometimes, they surprise each other. Either way, Eduardo reasons, they'll probably be doing that again. He's not sure that it would be a good idea to try the beer solution that he read about because he needs to maintain his judgment, but there are plenty of other solutions that seemed interesting.
Actually, there are a lot of things they can do that don't trip Mark's triggers. Once, Eduardo handed Mark a glass dildo (Mark had long since given up on trying to figure out where Eduardo got these things). It had been refrigerated, and Mark had given Eduardo a vaguely confused look before Eduardo had given Mark a grin and leaned in close.
"I want you to fuck me with it," Eduardo had said, "yeah?"
And Mark had done it, uncertain at first. It hadn't been anything they'd done before, and it had felt slightly awkward at first, but Mark decided that he actually liked this better. Not necessarily the fact that the dildo was cold, although Eduardo seemed to like that part, but the fact that he was getting what he liked out of what they were doing and Eduardo was getting what he liked. So sometimes that was how it worked. Or sometimes . . . Sometimes Mark just watched.
He'd sit at the foot of Eduardo's bed at Eduardo's request and just watch as Eduardo got himself off. That was actually interesting, from Mark's perspective, because he got to see all the ways that Eduardo fell apart playing out in slow motion. Well, slower than it usually felt anyway.
Eduardo had this thing for talking that Mark wasn't even sure he realized he had. A lot of the time when they were in a scene (Mark wasn't actually sure that term applied all the time, but he didn't have a better one) Eduardo's orders would be to talk or tell him how it felt or something of that nature. It was the same when Mark was watching usually. Eduardo says something like tell me about something you wish we could try and Mark searches through all the things in his brain and picks out something just a little ridiculous.
"I saw this porn flick where the guy got fucked with a gun," Mark says, "It was kind of interesting, in the sense that there was a certain amount of danger to what they were doing, but I'm not sure that I'd actually want to try it. The last time you tried fucking me it didn't go too badly, but I'd not sure how I'd take something like that. Is that something you'd be interested in, being fucked with a gun? I'm pretty sure it wasn't an actual gun in the video, and they've got to have dildos shaped like guns. They have tentacle dildos and I would think that a gun-shape would be as least as popular, don't you?"
And Eduardo would groan and Mark would watch the way his hand moved, the way his eyes fluttered shut. The questions were mostly rhetorical, in the sense that Mark recognized most people found it somewhat difficult to talk through sexual stimulation, but Eduardo usually remembered them and gave Mark the answers later, when they were curled together on his bed and just resting.
"It could be interesting," Eduardo says later, "although I think that might require a lot of prep to make the scene run smoothly. Would you even be comfortable with that, Mark? You'd be the aggressor, I assume, unless you want to be the one fucked with the gun."
And Mark shrugs and says, "If that's what you wanted, I'd be okay with that."
Because that was mostly what it comes down to. As long as Mark isn't totally opposed to the idea, he'll try it if Eduardo wants to. There aren't a lot of things that Mark is opposed to, in general, and they mostly have to do with him being the sole focus of sexual pleasure, so the range of things they actually end up trying is probably pretty large compared to most people.
Some of the things get discarded because Eduardo isn't comfortable with them, and some of the things get discarded because they just didn't fit into Mark's level of comfort or they came too close to the things that he was uncomfortable with, but they were both generally willing to try anything once because they didn't really have a very clear set of boundaries yet. That would probably worry some people, but Mark tended to think that the whole of what they were doing would worry some people so he didn't give it that much thought.
Eduardo is ridiculously careful about most things and Mark feels safe around him, so he tends to think that they're doing okay on the safety front-especially since Eduardo is actually really into safety. He tends to do a lot of research into things before they do a scene involving anything new. Mark knows, when he enters a scene, that Eduardo scoped things out to see if they were things that could potentially put Mark into an uncomfortable position, which Mark appreciates. He finds it easier to fall into a scene that way. Eduardo gently pushes Mark back onto the bed.
He says: "Lie down."
and Mark stretches out on the plastic tablecloth covering Eduardo's bed. He'd ask about why it was there, only it's pretty clear from the stuff Eduardo has set out on the bed. There's a carton of strawberry ice cream, a bottle of chocolate syrup, and some other stuff that Mark's not particularly concerned with. He lies there, hands at his sides, and waits for Eduardo to start doing . . . Whatever it is he's going to do. There's some rustling but Mark's mostly looking at the ceiling, so the first spoonful of ice cream hitting his abdomen makes him hiss in surprise.
"Strawberries," Eduardo says as he randomly drops more ice cream across Mark's stomach, "symbolized fertility because of their numerous seeds. That's why they're an aphrodisiac."
The ice cream is melting. Mark can feel it slide across the plane of his body as he shifts slightly, and then Mark feels Eduardo drizzling chocolate over the ice cream. At least he assumes it's the chocolate, because he didn't see anything else quite like that set out. In any case, Eduardo's words confirm his suspicion.
"Chocolate has a stimulant that increases the desire for physical contact and it probably the most widely consumed aphrodisiac. And it tastes good with strawberry."
If Mark had been really thinking, the swirl of Eduardo's tongue just above his navel wouldn't have been surprising, but Mark hadn't exactly been thinking so he gives a little gasp of surprise. Eduardo is smirking now, Mark can feel it, and the ice cream is seriously melting and getting all over the place. Which, Mark supposes, could be part of the point. Either way, Eduardo's licking it all off and Mark's squirming because it's just profoundly weird to have a warm, wet tongue chasing after all the cool, sticky ice cream. It's not bad, but it's making Mark a little bit confused as to what he should be doing.
Eduardo's tongue dips into his collarbone, where there isn't even any chocolate sauce or ice cream, and Mark shivers. He feels Eduardo press a kiss to his neck before Eduardo's traveling downward again, and then he's clean. Mostly, because there's a thin layer of stickiness that feels like it's coating his entire midsection, but Mark's surprisingly okay with that. He's almost settled into the feeling when Eduardo presses something to his lips.
"Fig," Eduardo says, "the Greeks used to celebrate their harvest with a ritual involving lots of fucking. Open up, I want you to taste this."
Mark obeys, letting Eduardo press the fruit into his mouth. He takes a bite and chews. The fig tastes sweet, and it's chewy but there's what Mark assumes are seeds, which are tiny little pockets of crunch. He swallows, only barely before Eduardo presses their lips together, licking into Mark's mouth and humming thoughtfully.
"I think the Greeks may have been on to something. What do you think?"
"Can I have the rest of it?"
It's not quite an answer to Eduardo's question, but Mark actually does want the rest of the fig. Eduardo feeds it to him, and then Mark looses track of where Eduardo is for a second until there's another spoonful of ice cream being dropped onto his stomach and he hisses again. Eduardo laughs, bright and cheerful. Mark thinks he's having way too much fun.
"Is there some reason you're treating me like your personal plate?"
Eduardo licks up his spoonful of ice cream, "I'm hungry. I can share with you, if that's what you're upset about."
Before Mark has a proper answer, Eduardo's pressing their lips together and feeding him sloshy, supremely melted strawberry ice cream. Eduardo tastes like the ice cream and the chocolate and a little like the fig. It's a heady combination, and when Eduardo pulls away, smirking down at Mark, Mark can't quite form words. Eduardo disappears again, and this time Mark's almost expecting the ice cream dropping onto his chest and he only shivers at it. Eduardo pauses for more chocolate sauce, and Mark can tell that he's going to be a sticky, sticky mess when Eduardo's done with him.
He's not actually sure how much ice cream Eduardo eats, or how long he makes Mark lie on his bed as his own personal plate, but he knows that Eduardo sometimes pauses to feed him ice cream or another fig. There's the pop! of a bottle being opened, and Mark wonders what Eduardo could possibly have. He's very firm on the no alcohol during scenes rule, so Mark knows it isn't anything alcoholic but he can't actually figure out what it is until Eduardo presses their lips together and passes him a mouthful of sparkling apple cider.
"Champagne substitute," Eduardo says, "although apples are aphrodisiacs in their own right, being the fruit of sin and all. Do you want more?"
"Yes."
Eduardo takes another sip, directly from the bottle, and passes it to Mark. Not all of it makes it into Mark's mouth, and he can feel it dripping down his face. Everything about him feels sticky and used, but Mark also feels at ease. He's not quite sure why, but he'll bring it up with Eduardo later. For the moment, Eduardo passes him another mouthful of cider and Mark just lets himself be.
When Eduardo is done, however much later, he presses his lips to Mark's cheek. It's sticky, and he tells Mark to stay for a sec and Mark stays until Eduardo comes back with a wet cloth and wipes him down before gently guiding him into the shower. Mark mostly lets Eduardo do the work, because he's not entirely sure that he can get his arms to work correctly at the moment anyway.
Eduardo runs the loofah over Mark's body and washes the soap away before working the shampoo through Mark's hair and washing that away too. Mark curls up next to Eduardo on the couch when they're out of the shower and watching bad Friday-night television. They never really go out unless Chris or Dustin insists on dragging them along somewhere. That's sort of how they end up at the drag ball.
Actually, no. There's a drag ball, which is not something that Mark would normally be caught dead at, and when Chris asks him if he wants to go, Mark declines. Or, he did decline and then Eduardo had laid out a dress, blue, and some stockings and a wig. Mark had given him a look that said but I'm not going to the Chris' thing and Eduardo's lips had curved into a smile. He had walked over, pulled Mark against him and bent to whisper in his ear put it on, we're going out.
Which is actually how Mark ends up at the drag ball decked in a dress that flounces around his knees and stockings with a proper garter belt and lingerie, because when Eduardo decides that they're going to do things then they don't do them halfway. Nothing about them is halfway, which is why their relationship carries over into aspects of their relationship that it probably shouldn't. They generally don't . . . This is the first time they've really done a scene in public. That's what it is at heart, Mark knows.
To the rest of their friends, it'll probably look like Eduardo convinced Mark to come and coaxed him into wearing something he normally wouldn't be caught dead in, but Mark knows that isn't what this is. Eduardo hadn't done any convincing, he had just told Mark to get dressed and Mark did it because Eduardo wanted him to do it and he didn't feel uncomfortable yet. Before they had left Eduardo's room, Eduardo had said safeword? and Mark had said cold fusion, like always. Eduardo had touched their foreheads together, not risking a kiss because the lipstick he was wearing would probably smear, and told Mark that they would leave as soon as Mark said the safeword, if that's what he wanted to do.
That's not what Mark wanted to do, although there was a certain amount of unease in the situation. It was mostly because Mark wasn't used to what they did being spread out in the open-past the occasional slipped command in front of Dustin and Chris, of course, but they had been dealing with Mark and Eduardo's game before it began and weren't particularly concerned as long as both Eduardo and Mark didn't do anything legitimately harmful to each other.
Eduardo gives Mark's hip a squeeze with the arm wrapped around his waist and then he's guiding Mark around until they find Chris and Dustin, who waves. Chris looks Mark over and makes an impressed noise, glancing over to Eduardo.
"Do I even want to know what you had to do to get him into that?"
Eduardo looks over at Mark, smirking, "Nothing. He changed his mind at the last minute - didn't you, Mark?"
"For simplicity, I decided to come instead of sitting alone by myself because you're all at a party without me, regardless of the . . . questionable choice of dress code."
Chris gives Eduardo a look like I don't know what you guys are playing at, but I trust that you guys know what you're doing, and pulls Dustin back over to the punch table. Eduardo watches them go and then ducks down to whisper into Mark's ear.
"I bet everyone here knows how easily you bent to me. You didn't even put up a fight, just said yes, Eduardo and got dressed."
"You gave me an order," Mark says simply, "and I follow your orders."
Eduardo raises an eyebrow, "Did I say you could talk?"
Mark swallows, aware that he's misstepped, and shakes his head. Eduardo gives Mark's hip another squeeze and then gives him a gentle push toward the punch and other refreshments. Mark glances over at Eduardo, who mouths get drinks, and then he goes to the table and picks up a red, plastic cup for each of them. Returning to Eduardo, Mark averts his eyes and hands the cup over. Eduardo takes it, fingers brushing over Mark's, and says thank you. It makes Mark smile, and he lets himself be guided around by Eduardo for the rest of the night.
There is something profoundly weird about the way he feels at the moment. Part of him is flushed with embarrassment from every time he missteps and Eduardo has to gently correct him, but part of him has the same feeling he always does when they do this: warm and loved. This is something new, and Mark knows that when they're curled next to each other later, Eduardo will ask him about it and Mark will say that he needs to think about it some more, because he does.
He's really not sure what to think about the current situation. There's some hint of thrill to what they're doing, because no one knows that Mark is under Eduardo's orders. Mark's half afraid that someone will point at them and say something like those two are bringing bedroom games into public space and Mark will hide behind Eduardo and try to remember what safety feels like.
It doesn't happen, though. They make it out of the party without incident and then Eduardo takes Mark back to his dorm and washes away Mark's make-up, pressing a kiss to his forehead and telling Mark that he's proud, that Mark's so fucking good.
That's all Mark needs to know he did okay, to know that Eduardo still loves him. When they talk about it, afterward, Mark says that was actually interesting and they could maybe try it again sometime. Eduardo smiles at that, but they don't plan anything like it right away, they just go back to their usual play and Eduardo tells Mark to sit on the edge of the bed. Mark complies, sitting and folding his hands behind him automatically.
"You're going to be quiet," Eduardo says as he snaps the wrist cuffs around Mark's hand, "No matter what I do, you're going to be quiet. Can you handle that?"
Mark looks up at Eduardo, stares for a second, and then nods. Eduardo presses a kiss to his forehead and then ties a blindfold around his eyes. Mark stills, face still upturned, and Eduardo presses another kiss to his forehead before pressing his dorm keys into Mark's hand.
"Can you see anything?"
"No."
Secure in the knowledge that Mark doesn't ever lie when Eduardo asks him a direct question, Eduardo goes on with what he has planned. He runs his fingers down Mark's face, gauging Mark's reactions, but Mark doesn't make any noise and he doesn't move. Picking up a feather, Eduardo runs it down Mark's chest and Mark gasps. Fitting his fingers around Mark's chin, Eduardo forces Mark to look upward.
"You said you weren't going to make noise. You're not doing very well at keeping your word, Mark. Should I gag you? Do you need help staying silent?" Eduardo releases Mark. "Nod yes or no to answer."
Slowly, Mark nods. It's about what Eduardo expected, seeing as Mark isn't particularly good at making no noise at all. He's good at staying quiet, but he isn't good at staying silent. Carefully, Eduardo fits the ball gag into Mark's mouth and lets Mark adjust to it before picking up the feather again. He traces the curve of Mark's face with it, listening for noise. Mark seems to have settled into himself, though, and the gag seems to be helping. Satisfied with that, Eduardo continues tracing aimless patterns along Mark's skin with the feather. When he gets tired of doing that, he takes the silk scarf he'd laid out earlier and wraps it around Mark's neck.
Using the ends to pull Mark forward, Eduardo nips at Mark's earlobe. He releases Mark, steadying him when he wobbles uncertainly, and reaches for the gloves. Sliding one on, he runs a hand over Mark's chest with it and feels Mark flinch. It's not a bad flinch, Eduardo knows, because Mark's fingers are still curled around Eduardo's keys, but more of an unsure flinch. He doesn't give Mark any time to adjust, though, running his fingers across Mark's chest again. This time he follows it with the silk and Mark doesn't seem to know if he wants to rock forward into Eduardo's touch or away from it. Eduardo's not even sure if Mark knows exactly where Eduardo is, or if the whole thing just feels like anonymous hands having their way with him. He'll ask Mark later, when Mark is allowed to talk.
For the moment, Eduardo just rubs a gloved finger over Mark's nipple. Mark leans into it this time and makes a soft, almost pleading noise that is muffled around the gag. Using the scarf to tug Mark forward again, Eduardo whispers into Mark's ear.
"For every noise, I'm going add five minutes in the blindfold when I'm done with you. You have five minutes."
Punctuating the statement with a particularly vicious rub of Mark's nipple that would probably hurt even without the drag of the rubber, Eduardo settles Mark back into his original position. Mark stays quiet. Eduardo smiles, although Mark can't see it, and tangles his ungloved fingers in Mark's hair, tilting his head back. He picks up the feather and runs it down Mark's face again, watching as Mark tilts toward the touch.
Trailing the feather down Mark's neck, Eduardo watches as Mark shivers but doesn't make a sound. They'd talked about this before, Eduardo teasing Mark with sensations that he couldn't quite identify, and they'd even done it with chilled things, but this was new. The silence thing was new, just another way for Mark to obey Eduardo's every whim, but Eduardo suspected that the sensations were not. Mark knew the tools that Eduardo was using anyway, because they'd been laid out before Eduardo had blindfolded him, but it didn't matter. The point of the blindfold was not to keep Mark in the dark, it was to make him earn the right to see again. If Mark was good, he could have his sight back. If he wasn't, then he'd have to stay in the dark.
Releasing Mark's hair, Eduardo started tracing haphazard patterns across Mark, alternating rubber with silk, and watching Mark stay still while listening for any noises he might make. There were only two more before Eduardo decided that Mark had probably been pushed far enough, judging by his breathing patterns, and tugged the glove and scarf off. He removed the ball gag from Mark's mouth and let Mark catch his breath before telling him his final punishment time.
"Fifteen minutes."
"I'm sorry," Mark whispers, "I didn't -"
"Did I give you permission to talk? Maybe you still need the gag. Or maybe I should gag you another way."
Mark stills, lips pressed together in a thin line. Eduardo can almost see the gears in his brain whirling, trying to figure out what Eduardo is going to do next. He doesn't doubt that Mark probably knows what he's going to do, but that's fine. Carefully, Eduardo settles Mark into a kneeling position on the floor and stands in front of him. Mark is still silent, waiting, and Eduardo glances to the clock before doing anything else. Fourteen minutes. He can work with fourteen minutes.
Not bothering to hide the noise, Eduardo unzips his pants and presses the head of his cock to Mark's lips. Mark opens his mouth, taking Eduardo in and waiting. It's a sign of obedience, because Eduardo hasn't told him to do anything yet. Eduardo pets Mark's hair, before anchoring his fingers in it and forcing Mark to take him. Glancing down, Mark's fingers are still curled around the keys, so Eduardo doesn't stop. He just fucks Mark's mouth. Mark stays silent, just taking it and when Eduardo comes he glances over at the clock. One minute, but Mark has been good, so Eduardo kneels down in front of him and unties the blindfold. Mark blinks at Eduardo, slowly, and Eduardo can tell he's not quite all there yet.
Pressing a kiss to Mark's forehead, Eduardo reaches behind him and unsnaps the wrist cuffs, gently prying his dorm keys from Mark's hand and tossing them in the general direction of his bedside table. He helps Mark up, guiding him toward the bathroom and getting into the shower with him after a slight hiccup of undressing.
Washing Mark down is something that helps pull him back into himself instead of the weird, half-there person he becomes during their play. It used to mildly freak Eduardo out, but now he just holds a washcloth over Mark's eyes while he washes the shampoo out of his hair and sits him down on the toilet while he dries Mark off. It's just another part of the routine, and secretly? It's sort of Eduardo's favorite part. Mark turns into something like a big kitten when he's like this, not quite aware of his surroundings and nuzzling into Eduardo's neck in the shower. He makes tiny, pleased noises when Eduardo tries to tame his hair into something slightly more manageable, and worried ones when Eduardo moves away to grab the clothes he'd set in the bathroom earlier.
Eduardo quiets him, pressing another kiss to his forehead, and quietly tells him to get dressed. Mark does, giving Eduardo time to dry off himself and pull a t-shirt and sweatpants on. When he's done, Mark hugs him and Eduardo runs his fingers through Mark's still-damp hair.
"C'mon. Let's watch a movie, okay?"
It's fairly easy to get Mark to walk over to the couch and sit down, although he curls up with his head in Eduardo's lap once Eduardo sits down. There's some kind of weird, B-rate movie on the television and Eduardo only half-watches, fingers running through Mark's hair. At some point, Mark recovers and Eduardo only knows because Mark talks.
"That's physically impossible."
"It's a movie," Eduardo says, "pretend it makes sense."
Mark makes a mildly disgruntled noise, and Eduardo laughs. Sometimes it's easy to forget that this is nice too, just sitting on a couch and watching poorly planned, horribly written movies with Mark, who takes every opportunity to point out precisely what's wrong with what's happening on the screen. They don't talk about it right away, because Mark always needs to mull over things and this is something that Eduardo wants him to actually think about instead of making quick judgment, so he lets Mark bring up the topic whenever he wants. For the moment, though, he's content to run his fingers through Mark's hair and listen to Mark rip apart every last inaccuracy about the godawful murder mystery drama that's unfolding on their screen.
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