love!
I'm so dramatic. Things are looking up, a little.
The worst thing is feeling like people are uncomfortable around me, or don't like my company. I think this is mostly me projecting my fears onto others. Right at this moment, I feel courageous, like I don't care what other people think and could flip them off if I needed to. But I don't have any reason to act on that courage (idiocy?). Tomorrow, when it's needed, maybe it will be gone.
I need to prove to myself I am a competent and capable human being.
Tonight Elyssa and I watched Casanova (Chicago too --- Casanova was good up till the ending, which sucked MAJORLY --- and campus is sad without Kate :( ). At one point, Casanova says something like "to be loved, you have to be lovable, and you have to be the flame, not the moth." That resonates with me, because it's true. And it's a frame of mind, not even a type of personality. You just have to look at yourself and say "I accept who I am and I am worthy of love." Because that's true for everyone - right?
Everyone deserves to be loved.
The worst thing is feeling like people are uncomfortable around me, or don't like my company. I think this is mostly me projecting my fears onto others. Right at this moment, I feel courageous, like I don't care what other people think and could flip them off if I needed to. But I don't have any reason to act on that courage (idiocy?). Tomorrow, when it's needed, maybe it will be gone.
I need to prove to myself I am a competent and capable human being.
Tonight Elyssa and I watched Casanova (Chicago too --- Casanova was good up till the ending, which sucked MAJORLY --- and campus is sad without Kate :( ). At one point, Casanova says something like "to be loved, you have to be lovable, and you have to be the flame, not the moth." That resonates with me, because it's true. And it's a frame of mind, not even a type of personality. You just have to look at yourself and say "I accept who I am and I am worthy of love." Because that's true for everyone - right?
Everyone deserves to be loved.