jem80
in
kirk_mccoy
Fic: In My Heart is a Memory
Title: In My Heart is a Memory
Author: jem80
Pairing/Characters: McCoy/OMC, past Kirk/McCoy
Rating: PG
Warnings: Major character death mentioned, angst.
Author Note: A follow up to All I Can Do is Keep Breathing. I guess more wanted to be written. I'm having a lot of feelings right now and this is apparently how they are expressing themselves. I may do more depending on where the muse goes. I haven't written in a long time so feedback is much appreciated.
Three years after Jim's death Leonard meets Tim. A year later, they move in together. They smile, have friends over for dinner, go to work functions together, they dance and put out the image that they are a happy, loving couple. It fools all their friends and most of their family, and if David knows better he's kind enough not to say. Everyone else congratulates him, telling him it's good that he's moved on, that Jim would want him to be happy. Where he once would have exploded in anger, now he keeps silent and chuckles to himself. "If they only knew."
Leonard wouldn't say he's happy, but he's content. He and Tim have an understanding. Tim knows his heart will always belong to Jim, and Leonard knows Tim will always long for the man who never loved him back. So they make do.They both work a lot and varying hours, so they see each other mostly in passing and on the rare evening they are both home. The sex is good, nothing like with Jim but both parties end up satisfied. When Leonard wakes from nightmares crying out for Jim, Tim makes him tea and stays up till he falls back asleep. They are both broken but as Tim puts it, "Sometimes it's easier to be lonely with someone else." And so they go on.
Once a year, on the anniversary of Jim's death, Leonard ventures into the attic. Tim always makes himself scarce on the day,and Leonard is grateful. He goes to the furthest corner and opens the chest with Jim's name on it. In it are the mementos he holds most dear, a picture of he and Jim the day Jim received his captaincy, a glass bowl Jim bought him on shore leave, and other tokens of their friendship and their love. AS he does every year, Leonard reaches to the bottom of the chest and pulls out a small velvet box. He takes out the rings they had picked in anticipation of their wedding. He traces over the inscription Jim had picked out "For I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine,". And he hums a song from an old children's movie that Jim had loved. "Goodbye may be forever, farewell is like the end. But in my heart's a memory and there you'll always be." He puts the ring back into the chest and closes it to remain undisturbed for another year. He doesn't need a constant visual reminder. Jim is in his heart, and he will be there until they can be reunited and love each other forever.
Author: jem80
Pairing/Characters: McCoy/OMC, past Kirk/McCoy
Rating: PG
Warnings: Major character death mentioned, angst.
Author Note: A follow up to All I Can Do is Keep Breathing. I guess more wanted to be written. I'm having a lot of feelings right now and this is apparently how they are expressing themselves. I may do more depending on where the muse goes. I haven't written in a long time so feedback is much appreciated.
Three years after Jim's death Leonard meets Tim. A year later, they move in together. They smile, have friends over for dinner, go to work functions together, they dance and put out the image that they are a happy, loving couple. It fools all their friends and most of their family, and if David knows better he's kind enough not to say. Everyone else congratulates him, telling him it's good that he's moved on, that Jim would want him to be happy. Where he once would have exploded in anger, now he keeps silent and chuckles to himself. "If they only knew."
Leonard wouldn't say he's happy, but he's content. He and Tim have an understanding. Tim knows his heart will always belong to Jim, and Leonard knows Tim will always long for the man who never loved him back. So they make do.They both work a lot and varying hours, so they see each other mostly in passing and on the rare evening they are both home. The sex is good, nothing like with Jim but both parties end up satisfied. When Leonard wakes from nightmares crying out for Jim, Tim makes him tea and stays up till he falls back asleep. They are both broken but as Tim puts it, "Sometimes it's easier to be lonely with someone else." And so they go on.
Once a year, on the anniversary of Jim's death, Leonard ventures into the attic. Tim always makes himself scarce on the day,and Leonard is grateful. He goes to the furthest corner and opens the chest with Jim's name on it. In it are the mementos he holds most dear, a picture of he and Jim the day Jim received his captaincy, a glass bowl Jim bought him on shore leave, and other tokens of their friendship and their love. AS he does every year, Leonard reaches to the bottom of the chest and pulls out a small velvet box. He takes out the rings they had picked in anticipation of their wedding. He traces over the inscription Jim had picked out "For I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine,". And he hums a song from an old children's movie that Jim had loved. "Goodbye may be forever, farewell is like the end. But in my heart's a memory and there you'll always be." He puts the ring back into the chest and closes it to remain undisturbed for another year. He doesn't need a constant visual reminder. Jim is in his heart, and he will be there until they can be reunited and love each other forever.