jem80
in
kirk_mccoy
Fic: All I Can Do is Keep Breathing
Title: All I Can Do is Keep Breathing
Author: jem80
Pairing/Characters: Kirk/McCoy, David McCoy
Rating: PG-13 (swearing)
Warnings: Major charecter death
Author Note: So I wrote a thing. A sad thing. Normally I hate death!fic but none the less. It’s short and probably crappy…but I’m working through something and needed to get this out. Not beta'd. The title comes from the song "Keep Breathing" by Ingrid Michaelson.
Leonard speaks very little anymore. Oh, he does his job well, but outside of work, he shuts himself off. He very rarely leaves his room (not their room, never again their room) he just simply stops caring. Nobody tries to coax him out anymore, they had once and he had viciously snapped back them.
"Len, you have to stop this. Jim wouldn't have wanted…"
Len (not Bones anymore, and oh god how that hurts) had turned around and everyone had cringed from the pure rage in his face.
"Yeah, how the hell would you know? None of you know shit. He wanted you to save me? He’s fucking dead and he wouldn't have known!! You should have let me die down there with him but no. You had to drag me back so you could pat yourselves on the back for keeping your last promise to Jim. None of you even thought about me or about the fact that I wanted to spend my final moments with the man I loved more than life itself. So as far as I’m concerned, you can all go to hell. Stay away from me. Don’t talk to me ,don’t come near me, and sure as hell don’t tell me Jim wouldn't have wanted this. If that selfish bastard didn't want this, than he shouldn't made you take me away from him."
He resigns his Starfleet commission two weeks later. When they arrive at Earth, they all come to see him off. He walks past all of them with nary a word or glance. He nods to the transporter tech that he is ready, and beams off the ship without a goodbye. He doesn’t care. They’re not his friends, not anymore. Not since they made the decision to disregard his feelings so they could keep some stupid promise to Jim. He quickly packs and gets the hell out of San Francisco. He doesn't want to be anywhere that reminds him of Jim. He goes home to Georgia, to his grandmother’s arms and his daddy’s strength. At first he doesn't leave his room. Gram leaves his meals and David comes in at night and sits next to Len’s bed as he cries himself to sleep, never saying a word but soothing Len with his steady, calm presence . One day Nyota and Spock show up on shore leave but he slams the door in their faces. Gram starts to lecture but stops with a look from David. It’s David who most understands his son’s pain, can understand the need to shut yourself off from the reminders of your old life. And Len’s not ready, not ready to see the people who he blames for his pain. He knows eventually he’ll forgive them, but he can’t right now. Right now all he can do is continue to breathe.
Author: jem80
Pairing/Characters: Kirk/McCoy, David McCoy
Rating: PG-13 (swearing)
Warnings: Major charecter death
Author Note: So I wrote a thing. A sad thing. Normally I hate death!fic but none the less. It’s short and probably crappy…but I’m working through something and needed to get this out. Not beta'd. The title comes from the song "Keep Breathing" by Ingrid Michaelson.
Leonard speaks very little anymore. Oh, he does his job well, but outside of work, he shuts himself off. He very rarely leaves his room (not their room, never again their room) he just simply stops caring. Nobody tries to coax him out anymore, they had once and he had viciously snapped back them.
"Len, you have to stop this. Jim wouldn't have wanted…"
Len (not Bones anymore, and oh god how that hurts) had turned around and everyone had cringed from the pure rage in his face.
"Yeah, how the hell would you know? None of you know shit. He wanted you to save me? He’s fucking dead and he wouldn't have known!! You should have let me die down there with him but no. You had to drag me back so you could pat yourselves on the back for keeping your last promise to Jim. None of you even thought about me or about the fact that I wanted to spend my final moments with the man I loved more than life itself. So as far as I’m concerned, you can all go to hell. Stay away from me. Don’t talk to me ,don’t come near me, and sure as hell don’t tell me Jim wouldn't have wanted this. If that selfish bastard didn't want this, than he shouldn't made you take me away from him."
He resigns his Starfleet commission two weeks later. When they arrive at Earth, they all come to see him off. He walks past all of them with nary a word or glance. He nods to the transporter tech that he is ready, and beams off the ship without a goodbye. He doesn’t care. They’re not his friends, not anymore. Not since they made the decision to disregard his feelings so they could keep some stupid promise to Jim. He quickly packs and gets the hell out of San Francisco. He doesn't want to be anywhere that reminds him of Jim. He goes home to Georgia, to his grandmother’s arms and his daddy’s strength. At first he doesn't leave his room. Gram leaves his meals and David comes in at night and sits next to Len’s bed as he cries himself to sleep, never saying a word but soothing Len with his steady, calm presence . One day Nyota and Spock show up on shore leave but he slams the door in their faces. Gram starts to lecture but stops with a look from David. It’s David who most understands his son’s pain, can understand the need to shut yourself off from the reminders of your old life. And Len’s not ready, not ready to see the people who he blames for his pain. He knows eventually he’ll forgive them, but he can’t right now. Right now all he can do is continue to breathe.