Need job...grrrrrrrrr...
Well, summer still sucks. I'm bored, depressed, jobless, bored, feeling shitty, useless, bored, and did I mention bored?
Actually, I guess that sounds worse than it is. It wouldn't, for most people, but I'm so used to sitting in my house doing nothing by now that it takes the edge off. Occasionally.
I have no job!! Employers must hate me or something because this is the second year I've made the rounds and found absolutely nothing. I realize that a lot of places don't like to hire for a mere three months, but honestly, other people get summer jobs. And not ALL those people can know someone. I hope. I dunno.
I'm so sick of playing games. Everyone who could actually help me out seems to want to play games instead. My advisor, when I email him very specific questions about getting an individual study set up, answers with vague nonesense. I can understand if he wants me to figure it out myself, but if I take the inititive to ask him a direct question, he should either answer it, acknowledging that I think it's information I need to know before I move on, or tell me that he isn't going to answer. No, instead we get to play games.
I called Home Depot cuz I applied there and heard they were hiring. I've been told twice now that someone will call me back. My mom suggests that they want to see how interested I am by how much I will nag them. I suggest the fuck they will, why do they have to lie to me to see if I'm interested? My mom suggests that that's just how it works. More games.
My dad stalks around the house, mad that I'm not going out to hunt for jobs (even though I've hit everywhere we can think of) or that my brother isn't cutting the grass or whatever...Why doesn't he just say something, discuss it and then let it go? No, he gets to be pissy and we get to read minds. More stupid games.
Am I stupid for wanting to take people at face value, for expecting a straight answer to a simple question? Seems like it.
Anyway, so I'm being pissy about that. lol. I wouldn't be so much if I had something else on my mind, but I really don't.
I was thinking about Andy moving in with me, but once I came to the conclusion that I wanted it to happen, there was no reason to think about it when not discussing it with someone, or I'll start worrying too much. I already had a nightmare about it. Not about him moving in, but about telling my parents. lol.
Quick run-down, Andy got a letter from the uni that extended the deadline to cancel his contract with the dorms to June 15th. We were thinking about him moving into the house during the end of the semester, but half decided not to, half ran out of time. But even after the first deadline passed, I kept thinking that it was ridiculous that he should waste so much money on the dorms when I didn't intend on letting him go back there ever. lol. At that point, it was just wishful thinking, but now we have another chance. I got really nervous when he told me about the letter cuz it was late and I was tired and it would mean telling my parents and admitting how much time we actually did spend together last semester. That night I had a nightmare that I told my parents and they just said no without reason in that infuriating way that parents do and we started fighting, blah blah.
I often have nightmares about stuff I'm worried about, so it wasn't THAT upsetting. I thought about it more, got a response from Jen (I emailed her that night), and decided that my nervousness was unfounded because the potential outcome was worth trying to convince my parents. I told my mom while she was planting flowers, lol, and we ended up having a very long conversation about various relationship things. She pretty much had the response that I thought she would--she wasn't ready for it (I am her oldest, after all), thought it was kinda early, doesn't know Andy was well as she'd like, etc. But she couldn't really think of a good reason we shouldn't. She told me that she likes more traditional stuff, like people not living together before they're married, but I disagree. I think it's important for people to experience living together at someone point in the relationship before marriage..not necessarily as soon as Andy and I did, but then our situation is specific to us and I explained all that to her and I think I did a pretty good job. Plus, it helps that my mom was married at 20 to a guy five years older than her and she pretty much admitted that they never lived together before they were married cuz it wasn't necessary (they lived close together and she was young), not because they planned it that way. She also said that she probably would have done what I want to do if she was in my situation.
She still doesn't like it, but I don't expect her to ever be perfectly happy about it. What parent wouldn't be worried? But I was able to convince her not only that this was what I want, but that I had thought it through. And I have. I love Andy and this is not only a logical step to take, but it fits with that warm feeling that likes to defy logic. lol
My dad on the other hand is going to be much more of a problem because he could right away decide that this is a Bad Idea and not hear a word I say. *sigh* And his opinion counts a bit more than it should because he pays the bills. Another reason I need a freakin' job! GAH!
Other than that, Dana and Jen don't have a problem with it and I'm still waiting to hear back from Chrissy. I can't imagine she'll really care though. And if she does, too bad! lol
I got an email from the guy from Yerkes a while ago, but nothing lately. That's disappointing. I bet nothing will happen cuz it's so little time before I go back again. I really don't know how other people do anything. I feel like I'm bad at life sometimes. lol. Working at Yerkes would be awesome though.
Oh well. I have to go eat early so my brother can get to work (!). And yes, I asked him if he would get me a job. *sigh*