Summer...
Sucks. Man, oh man, does it suck. I'm three hours away from Andy, have no job, and am bored off my ass.
So I might as well post, eh?
Let's see...it's been a week and I've spent most of it watching a week-long West Wing marathon. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't already seen most of the episodes. I called a few people about jobs...trying to ( Read more... )
That pretty much sums it up perfectly. Episode III was the worse piece of shit I have seen in a very long time, moreso than all the movies I have hated, because this one I wanted to love.
I pretty much thought the movie was going to suck until about five minutes before it started. I calmed myself down and told myself it was only fair to give it a chance. So I did. That lasted about five minutes *after* the movie started.
Not including the time-test words "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away" the first word of the movie sucked. It was War!. Yes, with an exclamation point. Was I supposed to care? Was the exclamation point supposed to validate some emotions that had not yet been established through plot?
Anyway, that was the beginning of the suckage and we didn't see an end until the lights came up. This movie did its level best to spit on the idea of acting, the idea of dialogue, the idea of the Jedi, the canon of the original movies and the notion of plot.
There was no character developement whatsoever, which I had thought was going to be, you know, the point of the movie? The genesis of Vader? Padme, from start to finish, was a spineless idiot, who coddled Anakin at every opportunity and made a fool of herself the rest of the time. Obi-Won was saddled with undignified lines and a brotherly love for Anakin that came from nowhere. Yoda was given awkward lines and pointless battles. Only Palpatine showed any acting ability and the rest of the characters were entirely superfluous.
And Anakin...oh man. He was reduced to pure stupidity. The climax of his downfall was reduced to a two minute interval after an uninspiring battle between Palpatine and Windu in which he went rapidly from remourse over the boring death of Windu to completely obedient to Palpatine to the point where he had no problem murdering children.
The cause for the creation of Vader? A love story. No joke. Anakin was so afraid of losing Padme in childbirth that in his confusion he *kinda* became evil...evil in the manner of stupid villians who lack conviction and are evil just because they can't figure out life. Definitely not the menace that used to be Darth Vader.
Apart from the dialogue, the acting, the directing and the endless cgi scenes that amounted to a lot of mindless flashing colors and nothing memorable, there are many, many, many little plot points that fuck with the original movies. Way too many to name here. I'll just point out the one that everyone seems to notice first...namely that in Epi III, Padme dies in childbirth from a lack of will to live (wtf????) even with her children right there. And later Leia tells Luke that she remembers glimpses of her mother. She remembers at five minutes old?
There are three things that I find unforgivable about this movie. The first is that it was completely unnecessary, barring the love story plotpoint, to ruin the original movies for everyone. The next generation, if they care at all, will probably watch the movies in order and be seduced by the pretty computer images and the entire mystery between Luke, Leia, and Vader will be revealed in the worst way possible. It almost seems like Lucas went out of his to kill the the main plot point of the original series...having lost the will to live and obviously not giving a shit about her kids, Padme still manages to name them. Except for a few diehard fans who will teach their kids the error of the prequels, I believe that this has killed the cult of Star Wars...though why should Lucas care? He's already rich.
The second thing is a little less drastic. At the end, we meet Vader again, though at that point I was considerable less impressed by him. Still, it's Vader...in his suit and with James Earl Jones! as the voice we all love.
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