You keep referring to a girlfriend as your be-all, end-all solution to all of your confidence issues and woes. However, you've got that all switched around; a girlfriend isn't the cause of confidence, but rather an effect.
Let me paint a quick scenario for you. Let's say you got a girlfriend, say, tomorrow. Congrats. Awesome, right? At first, sure. But let's reexamine your mindset going into the relationship. You've built this elaborate complex designating a girlfriend as the most important thing you could ever possibly have, and if you ever lost her you'd be devastated. Given the amount of pressure you'd put on the two of you and your general discontent going into your courtship, the two of you would break up after a couple weeks, or, even worse, you'd become totally, utterly whipped. Your relationship would either come crashing down from its high pedestal or you'd be forced to stand next to the pedestal twenty-four hours a day holding it up with both hands; either way, I doubt you'd want that scenario.
I definitely subscribe to the theory that the only way to be a content, happy partner is to be a content, happy bachelor. Otherwise, you'll simply carry over all of your inadequacies and restlessness to your relationship, and expect her to answer those for you. She, in most cases, won't have the answers for you, and you'll continue to wallow in your own pool of self-pity; only this time, somebody else has to put up with it.
So, you know, stop. Stop measuring the success of your life in terms of having a girlfriend, and stop hating yourself for not having one. That means no more late nights sitting up in your room dwelling on it while playing World of Warcraft, and no more self-deprecating livejournal posts. If you feel that you're THAT much of a failure based on not having a girlfriend alone, you need to put everything else in perspective - you're going to U of M, you've got a decent grade point, you're working on landing a high-paying, satisfying career. You've got a good family, plenty of friends, good health; do I really need to go on? Oh, but wait, you're single - fuck everything I just listed, none of that matters.
I think it was Christina who said it in your last "I wish I had a girlfriend" livejournal post: When people stop looking for a significant other, that's when they find one. And it's not baseless, romantic drivel either. When you don't find it necessary to have someone else to complete this gaping hole you feel you have in your personality, that's when your confidence is highest, and that's when you'll appear to girls as a reasonable, attractive boyfriend prospect.
Like Cory said, your time will come. I'm not saying this because I believe in fate and soulmates (I don't), but because I believe in statistics. Think of the millions of females you'll meet throughout the span of you life, their interests, desirable qualities, and desired qualities; now, think of your interests, desirable qualities, and desired qualities. Odds are, eventually, what you're looking for and what she's looking for will line up, and the two of you will hit it off. But the only way that will happen is if you stop shrouding yourself in a cloud of unconfidence and self-loathing; otherwise, you might see what you're looking for, but there's not a chance in hell she'll see what she's looking for though the thick fog you've put up.
Oh, and lest we forget, this is summer. Summer, for most college kids, is considered a huge four-month lull where we have to work menial jobs that serve only to provide funds and give us a stern reminder of why we're studying to avoid doing this kind of work for life. It's tough to meet new people, especially around Troy.
Tonight, before you go to sleep, I encourage you to think not, "JESUS NOT ANOTHER DAY WITHOUT A GIRLFRIEND", but rather, "you know what? I'm doing alright. Sure, I just gained another couple levels in WoW, putting me now at nine levels above Brian because I'm a bastard, but things aren't so bad."
In the words of a couple Swedes I know, take it easy.
Puh-leeze, I'll type as many words as I want. As somebody who has on more than one occasion gone over the character limit on a livejournal comment, all I've got to say is, pfft.
You keep referring to a girlfriend as your be-all, end-all solution to all of your confidence issues and woes. However, you've got that all switched around; a girlfriend isn't the cause of confidence, but rather an effect.
Let me paint a quick scenario for you. Let's say you got a girlfriend, say, tomorrow. Congrats. Awesome, right? At first, sure. But let's reexamine your mindset going into the relationship. You've built this elaborate complex designating a girlfriend as the most important thing you could ever possibly have, and if you ever lost her you'd be devastated. Given the amount of pressure you'd put on the two of you and your general discontent going into your courtship, the two of you would break up after a couple weeks, or, even worse, you'd become totally, utterly whipped. Your relationship would either come crashing down from its high pedestal or you'd be forced to stand next to the pedestal twenty-four hours a day holding it up with both hands; either way, I doubt you'd want that scenario.
I definitely subscribe to the theory that the only way to be a content, happy partner is to be a content, happy bachelor. Otherwise, you'll simply carry over all of your inadequacies and restlessness to your relationship, and expect her to answer those for you. She, in most cases, won't have the answers for you, and you'll continue to wallow in your own pool of self-pity; only this time, somebody else has to put up with it.
So, you know, stop. Stop measuring the success of your life in terms of having a girlfriend, and stop hating yourself for not having one. That means no more late nights sitting up in your room dwelling on it while playing World of Warcraft, and no more self-deprecating livejournal posts. If you feel that you're THAT much of a failure based on not having a girlfriend alone, you need to put everything else in perspective - you're going to U of M, you've got a decent grade point, you're working on landing a high-paying, satisfying career. You've got a good family, plenty of friends, good health; do I really need to go on? Oh, but wait, you're single - fuck everything I just listed, none of that matters.
I think it was Christina who said it in your last "I wish I had a girlfriend" livejournal post: When people stop looking for a significant other, that's when they find one. And it's not baseless, romantic drivel either. When you don't find it necessary to have someone else to complete this gaping hole you feel you have in your personality, that's when your confidence is highest, and that's when you'll appear to girls as a reasonable, attractive boyfriend prospect.
Like Cory said, your time will come. I'm not saying this because I believe in fate and soulmates (I don't), but because I believe in statistics. Think of the millions of females you'll meet throughout the span of you life, their interests, desirable qualities, and desired qualities; now, think of your interests, desirable qualities, and desired qualities. Odds are, eventually, what you're looking for and what she's looking for will line up, and the two of you will hit it off. But the only way that will happen is if you stop shrouding yourself in a cloud of unconfidence and self-loathing; otherwise, you might see what you're looking for, but there's not a chance in hell she'll see what she's looking for though the thick fog you've put up.
Oh, and lest we forget, this is summer. Summer, for most college kids, is considered a huge four-month lull where we have to work menial jobs that serve only to provide funds and give us a stern reminder of why we're studying to avoid doing this kind of work for life. It's tough to meet new people, especially around Troy.
Tonight, before you go to sleep, I encourage you to think not, "JESUS NOT ANOTHER DAY WITHOUT A GIRLFRIEND", but rather, "you know what? I'm doing alright. Sure, I just gained another couple levels in WoW, putting me now at nine levels above Brian because I'm a bastard, but things aren't so bad."
In the words of a couple Swedes I know, take it easy.
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