So many things!
First) Saturday morning, I woke up late and ran around like a crazy person, so by the time til_shes_irish picked me up, I had to run back into the house twice to get things I'd forgotten. Cut and pasted my emcee index cards together in the car (while managing to hide the index card that said, "LAPDANCE" on it, so L wouldn't know she was getting one later in the middle of the show - SUCCESSFULLY EXECUTED), ran through rehearsal, went to Teddy Shoes to get full fishnets (every pair I have inevitably rips and gets cut into thigh-highs), went home and showered and packed while L printed up rundown sheets and a mailing list sign-up sheet, snagged Burger King on the way to Church Nightclub.
Second) And then we had a show! Full of cake and burlesque and many, many people! And it went SO INCREDIBLY WELL, I have no words. (I do, however, have dollar signs for eyes. SUCCESSFUL FUNDRAISERS ARE MY FAVORITE KIND.) And L got an on-stage surprise you're-getting-married-next-weekend lapdance from Paolo (as I normally do, I got her something I would enjoy myself and figured she'd like it too), and the new girls got their burlesque cherries popped, and people won cakes and then I got the world's largest free shot of vodka from Church's owner. So I'm guessing they did pretty okay for the evening.
Third) Since everyone I know is ill right now, here's how I recommend treating that vague, awful virus that's been floating around all winter (I've had it, no shit, ELEVEN TIMES since the weather snapped cold back in October/November). Get a Neti Pot and use it. (I can give you more detailed instructions if you want them. It's a weird process, but it will grow on you.) In addition to Neti-ing, consider Zicam the SECOND you realize you're ill. Zicam only works in the first 48 hours, so get on that while the gettin's good. Depending on how hard it's hitting you, if you're well enough, consider some light exercise (cardio, mild weights, nothing involving floor work), as I personally have found that to help my immune system kick up a notch (this has NO SCIENTIFIC BACKING!). No matter what, try and increase the amount of time you spend resting in bed to the absolute maximum possible. Reading the internet in bed does not count as resting. However, lying in bed with a side light on and reading a book, does. (Rule provided by The MG, I don't question it.) Drastically increase your consumption of pineapple juice, garlic, and zinc. And do NOT take anything that'll dry out your sinuses, as that can lead to a secondary bacteria infection. And remember: clear, white or yellow mucus means your body is fighting the infection. Any other colors = see a doctor.
Fourth) I cannot stress enough my love of the Neti Pot. As I've told anyone who will listen, I still get sick, but now, I'm healthy again in 3 days (instead of being worse and worse for 2 weeks). Once, I was so sick I was contemplating crushing my own face with a hammer, and then I went home and Neti-ed a bunch, and I was 80% healthy when I woke up, and that is the ONLY way I survived driving to Montreal and performing and dancing late into the night and then driving back in the space of 2 days.
Fifth) I would also like to semi-shamefully sing the praises of Jessica Simpson's shoe line. Specifically these shoes. I was with L looking for shoes to go with the dress I'm wearing in her wedding, and we were making fun of them! I tried them on AS A JOKE! ...But they are so comfortable, it's kind of freaking me out. I wore them to work today, just to see how long they could endure, and I'm on hour 8 and they're still completely comfortable. I swear kids, I'm not one of those girls who wears high heels so much she can't even walk in regular shoes - I'm the ANTITHESIS of that girl, these days, due to the bum ankle. But no ankle pain! No wobbling, even! They're seriously magical, I don't even know. I own something produced by Jessica Simpson, and my only reaction is to try and buy more, in other colors. (You GUYS it comes in yellow and black gingham! AND purple faux-crocodile! I AM NOT MADE OF STONE.)
Second) And then we had a show! Full of cake and burlesque and many, many people! And it went SO INCREDIBLY WELL, I have no words. (I do, however, have dollar signs for eyes. SUCCESSFUL FUNDRAISERS ARE MY FAVORITE KIND.) And L got an on-stage surprise you're-getting-married-next-weekend lapdance from Paolo (as I normally do, I got her something I would enjoy myself and figured she'd like it too), and the new girls got their burlesque cherries popped, and people won cakes and then I got the world's largest free shot of vodka from Church's owner. So I'm guessing they did pretty okay for the evening.
Third) Since everyone I know is ill right now, here's how I recommend treating that vague, awful virus that's been floating around all winter (I've had it, no shit, ELEVEN TIMES since the weather snapped cold back in October/November). Get a Neti Pot and use it. (I can give you more detailed instructions if you want them. It's a weird process, but it will grow on you.) In addition to Neti-ing, consider Zicam the SECOND you realize you're ill. Zicam only works in the first 48 hours, so get on that while the gettin's good. Depending on how hard it's hitting you, if you're well enough, consider some light exercise (cardio, mild weights, nothing involving floor work), as I personally have found that to help my immune system kick up a notch (this has NO SCIENTIFIC BACKING!). No matter what, try and increase the amount of time you spend resting in bed to the absolute maximum possible. Reading the internet in bed does not count as resting. However, lying in bed with a side light on and reading a book, does. (Rule provided by The MG, I don't question it.) Drastically increase your consumption of pineapple juice, garlic, and zinc. And do NOT take anything that'll dry out your sinuses, as that can lead to a secondary bacteria infection. And remember: clear, white or yellow mucus means your body is fighting the infection. Any other colors = see a doctor.
Fourth) I cannot stress enough my love of the Neti Pot. As I've told anyone who will listen, I still get sick, but now, I'm healthy again in 3 days (instead of being worse and worse for 2 weeks). Once, I was so sick I was contemplating crushing my own face with a hammer, and then I went home and Neti-ed a bunch, and I was 80% healthy when I woke up, and that is the ONLY way I survived driving to Montreal and performing and dancing late into the night and then driving back in the space of 2 days.
Fifth) I would also like to semi-shamefully sing the praises of Jessica Simpson's shoe line. Specifically these shoes. I was with L looking for shoes to go with the dress I'm wearing in her wedding, and we were making fun of them! I tried them on AS A JOKE! ...But they are so comfortable, it's kind of freaking me out. I wore them to work today, just to see how long they could endure, and I'm on hour 8 and they're still completely comfortable. I swear kids, I'm not one of those girls who wears high heels so much she can't even walk in regular shoes - I'm the ANTITHESIS of that girl, these days, due to the bum ankle. But no ankle pain! No wobbling, even! They're seriously magical, I don't even know. I own something produced by Jessica Simpson, and my only reaction is to try and buy more, in other colors. (You GUYS it comes in yellow and black gingham! AND purple faux-crocodile! I AM NOT MADE OF STONE.)
