Ugh, Watchmen.
This journal is starting to read like I'm a really cranky person who hates all media...which is not 100% accurate, but then again, so many things insist on sucking and I'm forced to call shenanigans.
Very Short Review of Watchmen: Do not watch it, it is a waste of time and money better spent reading the graphic novel.
Short Review of Watchmen: First, a note. (NOTE: I DO NOT CONSIDER VAGUE DETAILS FROM A GRAPHIC NOVEL PUBLISHED IN 1985 TO BE SPOILERS.) You know the whole premise of the Uncanny Valley and how (OH LET'S JUST QUOTE FROM WIKIPEDIA, LAZYBONES), "when robots and other facsimiles of humans look and act almost like actual humans, it causes a response of revulsion among human observers"? Watching the movie version of "Watchmen" is exactly like that. The Comedian and Rorschach were the only two humans on screen - everyone else was a freak show nightmare that made my eyes and/or ears take a shit inside my head. And then the ending was weaksauce pussy bullshit, which considering the amount of rape, exploded human innards, fractured limbs and pregnant murder in the three hours beforehand, made is extra weaksauce.
I imagine if you are 1)a fan of The Lord of the Rings who hated the movie adaptations because they weren't "accurate" enough and 2)a fan of "Watchmen", then this is totally the movie for you. And maybe you'll revel in it and actually enjoy it and not be so bored you contemplate weeping when you check your watch in the theater and realize there's an entire other hour to go. Maybe you won't be completely insulted by the fact that instead of attempting to make a movie, Zach Snyder attempted to make live-action tableaus that recreate nearly every goddamn frame of the original story, possibly the laziest excuse for filmmaking I've ever seen. Maybe you'll think that instead of telling a story incredibly effectively in the medium of the comic book, Alan Moore was just throwin' down some storyboards, and thus almost nothing about the original book would benefit from being reworked or changed when switching to an entirely new medium. (For an example of what a film version of "Watchmen" would look like, wherein the story is actually adapted to make an excellent film that uses the strengths of movies to convey the MASSIVE amounts of information in the original story, I suggest you check out Watchmen's opening credits. Which fucking rule. Which then only makes me MORE upset that the rest of the film wasn't as creative, interesting, and smart.)
Very Short Review of Watchmen: Do not watch it, it is a waste of time and money better spent reading the graphic novel.
Short Review of Watchmen: First, a note. (NOTE: I DO NOT CONSIDER VAGUE DETAILS FROM A GRAPHIC NOVEL PUBLISHED IN 1985 TO BE SPOILERS.) You know the whole premise of the Uncanny Valley and how (OH LET'S JUST QUOTE FROM WIKIPEDIA, LAZYBONES), "when robots and other facsimiles of humans look and act almost like actual humans, it causes a response of revulsion among human observers"? Watching the movie version of "Watchmen" is exactly like that. The Comedian and Rorschach were the only two humans on screen - everyone else was a freak show nightmare that made my eyes and/or ears take a shit inside my head. And then the ending was weaksauce pussy bullshit, which considering the amount of rape, exploded human innards, fractured limbs and pregnant murder in the three hours beforehand, made is extra weaksauce.
I imagine if you are 1)a fan of The Lord of the Rings who hated the movie adaptations because they weren't "accurate" enough and 2)a fan of "Watchmen", then this is totally the movie for you. And maybe you'll revel in it and actually enjoy it and not be so bored you contemplate weeping when you check your watch in the theater and realize there's an entire other hour to go. Maybe you won't be completely insulted by the fact that instead of attempting to make a movie, Zach Snyder attempted to make live-action tableaus that recreate nearly every goddamn frame of the original story, possibly the laziest excuse for filmmaking I've ever seen. Maybe you'll think that instead of telling a story incredibly effectively in the medium of the comic book, Alan Moore was just throwin' down some storyboards, and thus almost nothing about the original book would benefit from being reworked or changed when switching to an entirely new medium. (For an example of what a film version of "Watchmen" would look like, wherein the story is actually adapted to make an excellent film that uses the strengths of movies to convey the MASSIVE amounts of information in the original story, I suggest you check out Watchmen's opening credits. Which fucking rule. Which then only makes me MORE upset that the rest of the film wasn't as creative, interesting, and smart.)