(no subject)
Now that things have calmed down on the station, I guess I can go back to writing in the journal. I was deliberately avoiding it because after a while, I couldn't stand to get involved in the Ezri/Julian/Keiko/Miles fiasco. (Isn't fiasco great, by the way? Nog taught that one to me. What a great word.)
I'm feeling remarkably better now. Granted, the sorrow of not being able to go to temple is still there, but it doesn't last all day like it used to. I've been spending time with Taran'tar, who isn't the best company, but at least we're lonely freaks together. I've also been spending time with 'Shar and Nog, when they'll have me around. They're very young, and I'm the commanding officer, so I try not to impose. But I really don't want to be like Ben, in that regard, who kept growing more and more distant as the years went on. I think he was afraid of seeing us die, and not being able to handle it.
Which doesn't make too much sense. In the Resistance, we were a family, and when one died, it was sad, but we all moved on together. But I never said humanoids, or Starfleet, always made sense.
I'm feeling remarkably better now. Granted, the sorrow of not being able to go to temple is still there, but it doesn't last all day like it used to. I've been spending time with Taran'tar, who isn't the best company, but at least we're lonely freaks together. I've also been spending time with 'Shar and Nog, when they'll have me around. They're very young, and I'm the commanding officer, so I try not to impose. But I really don't want to be like Ben, in that regard, who kept growing more and more distant as the years went on. I think he was afraid of seeing us die, and not being able to handle it.
Which doesn't make too much sense. In the Resistance, we were a family, and when one died, it was sad, but we all moved on together. But I never said humanoids, or Starfleet, always made sense.