Some things stay the same, other things change forever.
So it's official.
Mr. Big is out.
Ok, ok. No, nothing has gone on in over 10 months. Well... maybe 1.5 years, because 10 months ago was Christmas at his place, a place he gave his mother and she was in Australia at the time, it just felt odd in that house. So out of place. 1. Being in her house. 2. Being a place where things had ended with us. Very odd. My point being, nothing happened. Nothing. So I figure the last time anything happened was at least 1.5 years ago, but even then, I'm sure nothing happened.
But anyways, back to the point, Big being out.
It seems he closed his 2 email accounts.
(And for the record, he had officially opened the one account on purpose over 5 years ago to message me. So the account was for me. Hence my whole theory that this is all.about.me.)
I got an email about some books I lent him, and he was wondering how to get them back to me. And when I hit reply, the message bounced back. I used the other one and it bounced back. I texted him.
I know.
But I couldn't call him.
I don't remember the last time I called him. Muchos long time ago.
And I explained the issue with email. (And what's up with him emailing from account he's closing??? And what about the account he didn't email me from, why is that closed???)
All I got was, "yeah, I closed those accounts".
But for all I heard, was "yeah, I cut you out".
He didn't even explain, he didn't provide a new email, just ended it. (And I figure... he just doesn't want me to reach him, and I'm sure of it, if he could have changed his phone number just as easily, he would of. Why why why close an email account??? Too much spam and a possibility of me? Hmmm)
And for something that hasn't been anything, you'd think this wouldn't matter.
But sometimes coming to terms with things ending is hard.
It's one thing knowing it's over.
It's one thing when it's you who wants it over.
It's another thing when you have to accept that is over for good. Actually, it's the finalization of it all. Maybe what divorce is like.
I imagine... it's something you decide, something you want, and when you get it, it just pains you like the pain you get on your side when you are running. You don't know why it hurts, it just does. And it hurts for awhile. And there isn't much you can do about it.
So, as I write, I know this isn't the sad part. It was sad when I read the text. It's been a couple of days. I'm good.
I'm fine.
I know.
Just no longer my Mr. Big.
No longer when I see SATC do I have the same sort of life story.
No longer do I have that back up love life. For he left it now too.
Mr. Big is out.
Ok, ok. No, nothing has gone on in over 10 months. Well... maybe 1.5 years, because 10 months ago was Christmas at his place, a place he gave his mother and she was in Australia at the time, it just felt odd in that house. So out of place. 1. Being in her house. 2. Being a place where things had ended with us. Very odd. My point being, nothing happened. Nothing. So I figure the last time anything happened was at least 1.5 years ago, but even then, I'm sure nothing happened.
But anyways, back to the point, Big being out.
It seems he closed his 2 email accounts.
(And for the record, he had officially opened the one account on purpose over 5 years ago to message me. So the account was for me. Hence my whole theory that this is all.about.me.)
I got an email about some books I lent him, and he was wondering how to get them back to me. And when I hit reply, the message bounced back. I used the other one and it bounced back. I texted him.
I know.
But I couldn't call him.
I don't remember the last time I called him. Muchos long time ago.
And I explained the issue with email. (And what's up with him emailing from account he's closing??? And what about the account he didn't email me from, why is that closed???)
All I got was, "yeah, I closed those accounts".
But for all I heard, was "yeah, I cut you out".
He didn't even explain, he didn't provide a new email, just ended it. (And I figure... he just doesn't want me to reach him, and I'm sure of it, if he could have changed his phone number just as easily, he would of. Why why why close an email account??? Too much spam and a possibility of me? Hmmm)
And for something that hasn't been anything, you'd think this wouldn't matter.
But sometimes coming to terms with things ending is hard.
It's one thing knowing it's over.
It's one thing when it's you who wants it over.
It's another thing when you have to accept that is over for good. Actually, it's the finalization of it all. Maybe what divorce is like.
I imagine... it's something you decide, something you want, and when you get it, it just pains you like the pain you get on your side when you are running. You don't know why it hurts, it just does. And it hurts for awhile. And there isn't much you can do about it.
So, as I write, I know this isn't the sad part. It was sad when I read the text. It's been a couple of days. I'm good.
I'm fine.
I know.
Just no longer my Mr. Big.
No longer when I see SATC do I have the same sort of life story.
No longer do I have that back up love life. For he left it now too.