i broke his ♥ for the last time
My mind feels the pain of what happened today. My body is numb and lifeless. I hate word "sorry" now. It doesn't do anything. I can't say "I love you". Now, they're just words. Just easy words. He can't feel my love, he can't see it, he can just listen to some words. Some of my easy words. I've broken his heart before. This very well may be the third or fourth time. This should be the last. The ony way I can guarantee that is to have him break up with me. He deserves soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much more than I could ever give him. I feel unworthy of his unconditional love. He's been asked to be with so many other woman but he refused them because he loved me so much. What the fuck is my problem? I really need to get my shit together. If I keep taking my medicine, I should be able to control myself in the future but I think it's too late for me and James. I broke his ♥ for the final time. I may never be in love again. But he will and I know he will. He'll make a woman a very happy husband some day and he'll have beautiful children and a beautiful home and a successful career and a love that I will never even know existed. I'll always love him, he'll always have a space for me in his heart and in the back of his mind. But we will have different futures, I suppose.