Weekend Update...
Saturday night was fun, we went to the bar in Georgetown and I had a couple drinks and some yummy food. I pretty much skipped the radiohead thing cuz I was really tired so I just went to bed instead. I've been sleeping really good lately. Things have been going fairly good. I'm still waiting to get a job but I keep finding new opportunities so I just need to be patient and I will find the right job soon.
Tonight I am having some trouble sleeping. I believe it could be because, I can definably feel a big change coming for me, but I'm not certain what it is or what kind of change it would be for me. I'm kind of happy and excited yet terribly scared as well. I feel like I have gotten to such a great place in my life and I don't know what to do if it all fell apart.
But then again who am I fooling. I have felt the strongest emotionally I have ever felt in SOO long. I'm not sure if it due to the situations I have recently been through or like my therapist I use to see had always told me that woman tend to mature and "find themselves" in their mid twenties. I am thinking it is from a bit of both. So with all this positive feeling and strong feeling about myself, I've had actually had a LOT going on lately. Well not me personally but with my family mainly, and also with friends.
Things that would normally upset me and stress me out soo badly it would handicapped me from being able to be a human being. Which right now I am still keeping on top of things like cleaning, taking care of myself and animals. I've noticed I've been struggling with things like I get sort of a lag before I get myself motivated but the point for me is that I did it, when before I would just tell my self I cant do it and nothing would get done and I would feel even crappier about myself.
Anyways I dont know what my problem is right now. I just know that I feel so close to some sort of completeness but I'm not sure if it is quite there. Maybe I will feel better about things once I am more secure and stable. I JUST moved away from portludlow a little over a week ago, I still need to get my things from there, find a job, start a new life out here, and start visiting all my friends I haven't seen in a long time, PLUS keep up with my sanity and health.
The thing that seems to be at the top of my mind constantly has been my health. I have been taking much better care of it since I started exercising and lost weight. I'm eating a lot better. getting way more exercise, and just feeling mentally healthy as well.
I guess what I am afraid of right now is normalcy. I've been SOO use to chaos and drama and stress and strife the past few months, heck even years, that I'm kinda scared to change my life style. Like I got so use to that one life pattern of constantly struggling to pull my head out of the water. And now I feel completely out of the water its like what do I do what happens next where am I supposed to go?
Is it okay to feel lost and found at the same time????
I know this blog doesn't make too much sense. Tonight my mind just started rambling so I decided to write instead of let all this stress fester inside of me.
I hope everyone is doing well! and I am hoping things start coming around for me with a job.
I will write soon!
<3 Becky
Tonight I am having some trouble sleeping. I believe it could be because, I can definably feel a big change coming for me, but I'm not certain what it is or what kind of change it would be for me. I'm kind of happy and excited yet terribly scared as well. I feel like I have gotten to such a great place in my life and I don't know what to do if it all fell apart.
But then again who am I fooling. I have felt the strongest emotionally I have ever felt in SOO long. I'm not sure if it due to the situations I have recently been through or like my therapist I use to see had always told me that woman tend to mature and "find themselves" in their mid twenties. I am thinking it is from a bit of both. So with all this positive feeling and strong feeling about myself, I've had actually had a LOT going on lately. Well not me personally but with my family mainly, and also with friends.
Things that would normally upset me and stress me out soo badly it would handicapped me from being able to be a human being. Which right now I am still keeping on top of things like cleaning, taking care of myself and animals. I've noticed I've been struggling with things like I get sort of a lag before I get myself motivated but the point for me is that I did it, when before I would just tell my self I cant do it and nothing would get done and I would feel even crappier about myself.
Anyways I dont know what my problem is right now. I just know that I feel so close to some sort of completeness but I'm not sure if it is quite there. Maybe I will feel better about things once I am more secure and stable. I JUST moved away from portludlow a little over a week ago, I still need to get my things from there, find a job, start a new life out here, and start visiting all my friends I haven't seen in a long time, PLUS keep up with my sanity and health.
The thing that seems to be at the top of my mind constantly has been my health. I have been taking much better care of it since I started exercising and lost weight. I'm eating a lot better. getting way more exercise, and just feeling mentally healthy as well.
I guess what I am afraid of right now is normalcy. I've been SOO use to chaos and drama and stress and strife the past few months, heck even years, that I'm kinda scared to change my life style. Like I got so use to that one life pattern of constantly struggling to pull my head out of the water. And now I feel completely out of the water its like what do I do what happens next where am I supposed to go?
Is it okay to feel lost and found at the same time????
I know this blog doesn't make too much sense. Tonight my mind just started rambling so I decided to write instead of let all this stress fester inside of me.
I hope everyone is doing well! and I am hoping things start coming around for me with a job.
I will write soon!
<3 Becky