getting it out of my system before i get down to some serious work.
in the library
exhausted
cold (just walked here, my hair is wet) just walked back from the Operation Donation meeting sweaty and in running shorts than took a shower. wanted to crawl into bed.
busy busy busy busy
overwhelmed
nervous (everything, classes, fencing, life)
cautious(I have been putting my everything into being happy...and its been somewhat better..i am constantly bracing myself for the next backslide which isn't the greatest way to live life)
frustrated (I worked out this morning, ran at fencing and fenced at fencing...I still feel fat..I don't know what I am supposed to do stop eating..I am already trying to eat less and totally healthfully..but although I am feeling less hopeless and paranoid I feel extremely ugly..I am somewhat broken out on my face..I just think I look miserable every day in most possible ways. trying not to let that get to me.
ready..or trying. for finals..for new classes..to be happier..to be efficient..to get things done.?.? to go home to have fun..to work maybe..
I really want to go hiking during reading week! hopefully someone who has a car will take it..let us use it..
I need to do my spanish project (remind me never to take spanish again) but at the same time i need to know spanish. i will feel perpetually guilt until i learn spanish. i just think about how many people i could be helping especially in this area if i knew spanish. just by learning a language i could easily be improving peoples lives. but i just cant make myself do it.
today went i finally heaved myself out of bed and went for a run i was listening to music and it wasn't cold yet and the sun was glittering and reflecting in my field of vision and i just looked around me slowly...i panned to each building with the music and just thought about how beautiful it is here. i am so lucky.
exhausted
cold (just walked here, my hair is wet) just walked back from the Operation Donation meeting sweaty and in running shorts than took a shower. wanted to crawl into bed.
busy busy busy busy
overwhelmed
nervous (everything, classes, fencing, life)
cautious(I have been putting my everything into being happy...and its been somewhat better..i am constantly bracing myself for the next backslide which isn't the greatest way to live life)
frustrated (I worked out this morning, ran at fencing and fenced at fencing...I still feel fat..I don't know what I am supposed to do stop eating..I am already trying to eat less and totally healthfully..but although I am feeling less hopeless and paranoid I feel extremely ugly..I am somewhat broken out on my face..I just think I look miserable every day in most possible ways. trying not to let that get to me.
ready..or trying. for finals..for new classes..to be happier..to be efficient..to get things done.?.? to go home to have fun..to work maybe..
I really want to go hiking during reading week! hopefully someone who has a car will take it..let us use it..
I need to do my spanish project (remind me never to take spanish again) but at the same time i need to know spanish. i will feel perpetually guilt until i learn spanish. i just think about how many people i could be helping especially in this area if i knew spanish. just by learning a language i could easily be improving peoples lives. but i just cant make myself do it.
today went i finally heaved myself out of bed and went for a run i was listening to music and it wasn't cold yet and the sun was glittering and reflecting in my field of vision and i just looked around me slowly...i panned to each building with the music and just thought about how beautiful it is here. i am so lucky.