I think I think too much
marvel at the update.
So I've started working at Foothills, doing data entry and shit...boring...but hey I make 1,200 a month...so good times.
My birthday was on the 11th (19...woo hoo) and it was fun. I got to work and my cubicle was decorated with pink streamers and I had a cake and I felt all special..Mom took my out to lunch and bought me a pair of shoes that didn't fit and a trip to shelly's to do my hair (thank god). After work, Mike and I went to paris and met up with Sam, Tyler, Katy, Judas, Jordan, Danny, Megan, Gebus, JP, and David. It was so great to see David again, espeically since he dropped off the face of the earth when he left cast. Megan gave me Lulu (the living dead doll I've been wanting), Danny painted me a picture, and David gave me this gorgeous knife and a bag of dream incense (all wrapped in layers of packaging and gaff tape...fucker). I felt special and loved.
Katy, Sam, Tyler and myself decided we were going to make this MTV show called "Shanked" in which the catch phrase would be "fool, you got shanked!" And we're also going to make t-shirts that says "someone who shanked me bought me this t-shirt" and have a bloody hole cut in it...brilliant if I do say so myself.
Apart from that, life has been boring. Although I'm really confused about Mike.
Lately it seems like I've been trying to pick fights with him...and my temper's on high all the time. And I hate it. I don't want to break up with him, but I feel so pissy when I'm with him...like nothing he's ever doing is enough. And then there was last night (Rocky). He came into theater five while I was talking with Alyssa and Kat, and gave me a kiss, and I noticed a huge pair of black lip marks on his neck. Tweak (aka Stephanie...a girl he's always wanted who is on tech). Now what happened was, Tweak bit his neck. Mike go gooey. And he said that he'd be fine once he extracted his revenge. So I piped up and said "you better be careful with how much revenge you take." And he said most of it would bounce back on to me. whatever. fine. But since then...I just felt off. I've noticed how his eyes follow Sara whenever she walks by (not her fault...she's gorgeous)...and other girls too. And he rarely if ever reacts the way he did to tweak biting his neck when I do tha same thing. It bothers me that he's still going to want other girls when he's with me. Which I can't fault him for, he is human...but does he have to be so blatent about it. He feels the need to tell me when a hot girl came into his store, or when someone was flirting with him and vice versa. And yeah, I do the same thing...but mainly just to get a reaction out of him...to see if it bothers him like it bother's me.
And later on he kissed me all passionately and I asked him what it was for and he said that was the revenge for tweak biting him...he didn't kiss me passionately because he wanted to...he kissed me like that because of another girl. Because he couldn't kiss her...he couldn't do anything to her...because it was revenge and not love.
I hate it. I really thought I could do this...I really thought I had moved beyond the jealousy issues...apparemtly I haven't. I hatehim so much and at the same time I love him with all my heart. You're not supposed to feel such polar opposites at the same time.
where the fuck is my razor...?
So I've started working at Foothills, doing data entry and shit...boring...but hey I make 1,200 a month...so good times.
My birthday was on the 11th (19...woo hoo) and it was fun. I got to work and my cubicle was decorated with pink streamers and I had a cake and I felt all special..Mom took my out to lunch and bought me a pair of shoes that didn't fit and a trip to shelly's to do my hair (thank god). After work, Mike and I went to paris and met up with Sam, Tyler, Katy, Judas, Jordan, Danny, Megan, Gebus, JP, and David. It was so great to see David again, espeically since he dropped off the face of the earth when he left cast. Megan gave me Lulu (the living dead doll I've been wanting), Danny painted me a picture, and David gave me this gorgeous knife and a bag of dream incense (all wrapped in layers of packaging and gaff tape...fucker). I felt special and loved.
Katy, Sam, Tyler and myself decided we were going to make this MTV show called "Shanked" in which the catch phrase would be "fool, you got shanked!" And we're also going to make t-shirts that says "someone who shanked me bought me this t-shirt" and have a bloody hole cut in it...brilliant if I do say so myself.
Apart from that, life has been boring. Although I'm really confused about Mike.
Lately it seems like I've been trying to pick fights with him...and my temper's on high all the time. And I hate it. I don't want to break up with him, but I feel so pissy when I'm with him...like nothing he's ever doing is enough. And then there was last night (Rocky). He came into theater five while I was talking with Alyssa and Kat, and gave me a kiss, and I noticed a huge pair of black lip marks on his neck. Tweak (aka Stephanie...a girl he's always wanted who is on tech). Now what happened was, Tweak bit his neck. Mike go gooey. And he said that he'd be fine once he extracted his revenge. So I piped up and said "you better be careful with how much revenge you take." And he said most of it would bounce back on to me. whatever. fine. But since then...I just felt off. I've noticed how his eyes follow Sara whenever she walks by (not her fault...she's gorgeous)...and other girls too. And he rarely if ever reacts the way he did to tweak biting his neck when I do tha same thing. It bothers me that he's still going to want other girls when he's with me. Which I can't fault him for, he is human...but does he have to be so blatent about it. He feels the need to tell me when a hot girl came into his store, or when someone was flirting with him and vice versa. And yeah, I do the same thing...but mainly just to get a reaction out of him...to see if it bothers him like it bother's me.
And later on he kissed me all passionately and I asked him what it was for and he said that was the revenge for tweak biting him...he didn't kiss me passionately because he wanted to...he kissed me like that because of another girl. Because he couldn't kiss her...he couldn't do anything to her...because it was revenge and not love.
I hate it. I really thought I could do this...I really thought I had moved beyond the jealousy issues...apparemtly I haven't. I hatehim so much and at the same time I love him with all my heart. You're not supposed to feel such polar opposites at the same time.
where the fuck is my razor...?