The written emotion of me
So Angela gave me the cd compiled for Matt this weekend and Julie gave me a bracelet. I wanted both. But I am torturing myself by listening to the songs over and over and not allowing the tears to dry.
I don't often break down.. not in front of people. Online.. It's easy to do. That person you break down 'in front of' online isn't really seeing your tears and your hurt.. they can only.. read it.
So for anybody that may think this hasn't affected me just as much as it has you.. I just want you all to know.. that it has.. I just.. find it hard to break down in front of you.
My mother has questioned me on this.. she said I've always been like that. Something can be the matter but I'll tell everybody I'm fine and nothin' is wrong or I don't want to talk about it. and she's right.
I. don't. want. to. talk. about. it.
I'm better with ... the written emotion than the shown emotion.
I really regret not.. knowing Matthew better...and not being around him more and everybody more.
I really wish we still had our Friday nights.