Hopping at the Bar
The last two nights/mornings I've been picking up shifts at the bar I work at. I normally just do one shift a week on Monday nights and it's perfect because it's just busy enough to be fun, I've got some great regulars, and I'm on my own. Working a weekend is a little different because you split tips with the other bartender who's at your station (inside or patio) and of course the crowd is different because it's much larger.
It's been raining in SD for about 6 days now so the patio has been closed (well, closed in the sense there are no bartenders out there). So basically, there's a full weekend crowd with half the bartenders and no barback ('cept me). It was pretty crazy. While I had a great time keeping busy and slinging drinks I've developed a list of my bartending pet peeves:
1) People who say "cheer up, it can't be that bad" or "why don't you smile?" or "will you smile for me?". It makes me want to slap their exfoliated, cosmo'd faces with the rusty edge of a ginsu knife. It really bugs me that people equate smiling with happiness. Like all it takes is a smile to make everything okay. It's bullshit and I've never been a fake smile kind of guy. So if I'm busy and it's crowded and I'm not smilin' that doesn't mean I'm not enjoying myself--it just means I'm busy! Go figure, eh? It just saddens me that their good time is based on the fact that I'm smiling or not. Sheesh! (but, I've made a note to myself--deep breaths and allowing myself a moment for the occasional natural smile will cut down on this factor)
2) Beer bust people who order a bud light but don't show you their ticket so when you bring them a bottle they go "oh, I wanted a draft for the beer bust".
3) People who order a drink and don't tell you until after it's poured and presented that they wanted a "homewrecker" (a pint glass sized drink instead of a rocks glass) or a specific type of vodka, gin etc
4) When you close the patio or the bar and people just sit there like their ass is rooted to the ground. You try to be polite and say "The bar (patio) is closed please move inside" but they just don't move. So when you finally get aggressive and say "come on Mary, get your ass out of the bar" they call you a dick or make some other comment like "why do you have to be so mean?" and it's like damn "I tried to be nice but you won't let me."
5) Watching hot interesting men hook up with other hot interesting men and being totally unable to join in the process*
6) that grimy bar funk that seems to cover my body when I'm done with work**
7) people who tip a quarter
8) people who don't tip at all
9) people who run a tab on a credit card and order 10 drinks and leave a 4 dollar tip
10) peope who think it's funny to lock the bathroom as they leave it so no one can get in and no one knows that it's actually empty
* okay, that's not always true--sometimes I get to join in :)
** effects my abaility to join in
Now, don't get me wrong. I dig bartending and the good far outweighs the bad/annoying. But sometimes you just wanna take a sledge hammer to these people! (grin)
It's been raining in SD for about 6 days now so the patio has been closed (well, closed in the sense there are no bartenders out there). So basically, there's a full weekend crowd with half the bartenders and no barback ('cept me). It was pretty crazy. While I had a great time keeping busy and slinging drinks I've developed a list of my bartending pet peeves:
1) People who say "cheer up, it can't be that bad" or "why don't you smile?" or "will you smile for me?". It makes me want to slap their exfoliated, cosmo'd faces with the rusty edge of a ginsu knife. It really bugs me that people equate smiling with happiness. Like all it takes is a smile to make everything okay. It's bullshit and I've never been a fake smile kind of guy. So if I'm busy and it's crowded and I'm not smilin' that doesn't mean I'm not enjoying myself--it just means I'm busy! Go figure, eh? It just saddens me that their good time is based on the fact that I'm smiling or not. Sheesh! (but, I've made a note to myself--deep breaths and allowing myself a moment for the occasional natural smile will cut down on this factor)
2) Beer bust people who order a bud light but don't show you their ticket so when you bring them a bottle they go "oh, I wanted a draft for the beer bust".
3) People who order a drink and don't tell you until after it's poured and presented that they wanted a "homewrecker" (a pint glass sized drink instead of a rocks glass) or a specific type of vodka, gin etc
4) When you close the patio or the bar and people just sit there like their ass is rooted to the ground. You try to be polite and say "The bar (patio) is closed please move inside" but they just don't move. So when you finally get aggressive and say "come on Mary, get your ass out of the bar" they call you a dick or make some other comment like "why do you have to be so mean?" and it's like damn "I tried to be nice but you won't let me."
5) Watching hot interesting men hook up with other hot interesting men and being totally unable to join in the process*
6) that grimy bar funk that seems to cover my body when I'm done with work**
7) people who tip a quarter
8) people who don't tip at all
9) people who run a tab on a credit card and order 10 drinks and leave a 4 dollar tip
10) peope who think it's funny to lock the bathroom as they leave it so no one can get in and no one knows that it's actually empty
* okay, that's not always true--sometimes I get to join in :)
** effects my abaility to join in
Now, don't get me wrong. I dig bartending and the good far outweighs the bad/annoying. But sometimes you just wanna take a sledge hammer to these people! (grin)