The smell of wine and cheap perfume
So, my summer vacation has officially begun today. And it will officially end in 7 days. I move back onto campus next Saturday. Well, actually I don't know about that. I am completely not ready to return to school, so I might stay til Sunday or something.
So, now that orgo is over and my lab "internship" (not really an official internship) is over, I don't know what to do with myself. I feel so burnt out. I want to just sleep for a week, but I have a stupid biological clock that doesn't let me sleep later than 10 AM each morning.
I think this is the first time in my life also where I don't even care what grade I get. I am just so glad that it is over that the prospect of never having to take orgo again is satisfaction enough. I am returning my orgo book to the library on Wednesday and hopefully I'll never have to open it again for as long as I live. Unfortunately, the MCATs are less than a year away, so I will actually have to read about all the carbonyls and the gem diols and the DNA synthesis. Not to mention I am taking biochem in the fall, so it's not really a full escape. I guess there really is no full escape. As Journey once put it, "...it goes on and on and on..."
And on top of all that, I feel a little empty right now. When orgo and work is your entire life for three months and both of them disappear on the same day, you get this feeling of emptiness -- a mixture of sadness and relief. A little bit of joy at having successfully defeating a beast, but a tint of sadness that your captor will no longer be there. Hmm... I guess this sounds an awful lot like the Stockholm Syndrome. So, I said bye to Julia again and we will tentatively hang out during the school year, but some things promised never do come to fruition. And the Song Lab was an awfully fun bunch of people. Shruti got me a teddy bear doctor holding a medicine bag. Very cute. I'm gonna miss working there and watching Scrubs and playing pool when we should have been doing more productive things. But it's OK because I have waaay more hope of keeping in touch with Shruti and Segun than I do of keeping in touch with Julia. I just need to make an effort.
Perhaps this will have to wait for another entry, but I don't feel like I make an effort to keep friends any more. I don't know if it is a defense mechanism or what, but I just feel that I can't be dependent on anyone for solace. I don't want to feel tied to anyone, obligated to call anyone...
So, now that orgo is over and my lab "internship" (not really an official internship) is over, I don't know what to do with myself. I feel so burnt out. I want to just sleep for a week, but I have a stupid biological clock that doesn't let me sleep later than 10 AM each morning.
I think this is the first time in my life also where I don't even care what grade I get. I am just so glad that it is over that the prospect of never having to take orgo again is satisfaction enough. I am returning my orgo book to the library on Wednesday and hopefully I'll never have to open it again for as long as I live. Unfortunately, the MCATs are less than a year away, so I will actually have to read about all the carbonyls and the gem diols and the DNA synthesis. Not to mention I am taking biochem in the fall, so it's not really a full escape. I guess there really is no full escape. As Journey once put it, "...it goes on and on and on..."
And on top of all that, I feel a little empty right now. When orgo and work is your entire life for three months and both of them disappear on the same day, you get this feeling of emptiness -- a mixture of sadness and relief. A little bit of joy at having successfully defeating a beast, but a tint of sadness that your captor will no longer be there. Hmm... I guess this sounds an awful lot like the Stockholm Syndrome. So, I said bye to Julia again and we will tentatively hang out during the school year, but some things promised never do come to fruition. And the Song Lab was an awfully fun bunch of people. Shruti got me a teddy bear doctor holding a medicine bag. Very cute. I'm gonna miss working there and watching Scrubs and playing pool when we should have been doing more productive things. But it's OK because I have waaay more hope of keeping in touch with Shruti and Segun than I do of keeping in touch with Julia. I just need to make an effort.
Perhaps this will have to wait for another entry, but I don't feel like I make an effort to keep friends any more. I don't know if it is a defense mechanism or what, but I just feel that I can't be dependent on anyone for solace. I don't want to feel tied to anyone, obligated to call anyone...