(no subject)
Title: "Breakdown."
Author: Rioxujaa. How I'm supposed to pronounce that, I have no idea.
Rating:
Just two is all it really needs. But the fanfic itself is NC-17. This IS a (het) sexfic (even if poorly written), so don't read if that's not your thing.
Full Name: IWantYou Sora, as quoted by Kairi.
Full Species: Unfucktasticus Whutanatomy.
Hair Color: "her auburn hair down to her shoulders" shortly followed by "She was letting loose". Does that count?
Eye Color: "soft, blue eyes locked with pale green ones". So canonlack and commalack. Whoo!
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: Well, the cameo of Tropical Storm has Super!Meme tattooed on his forehead, but other than that...
Special Possessions: It's really more of a lack of possessions. Well ... "possessions" meaning "clothes" ... in the street.
Origin: Destiny Islands on an Acid Trip.
Connections To Canon Characters: None. I swear.
Special Abilities: Penis Devouring Vaginas. D:
Other Annoying Traits: Um ... PDV? Randomly spliced flashbacks, bad dialogue, extensive spacing of paragraphs, and, the usual, OOC.
I Say: This is, actually, my first spork. I watched this community on an old account, but never submitted anything. But I still hope it's humorous. Reguarding the fic I sporked itself, it's not utterly impossible to read. Y'know, just ... a little unfathomable ... and ... dumb. But the, uh. Grammar's pretty good.
The theater blossoms open before the eyes with ratty curtains and seats with questionable substances sticking sadly to their fabric.
Roxas, who has just been ushered into the dank environment, scowls thoroughly with a script in his hands.
Roxas: Uh-oh. I think … I’ve been here before.
Sora: Yeah, well. Let's consider you my emotional support this time. *Motioning him over to a clean seat.*
Breakdown
Roxas: Well ... the title could be worse.
Sora: Something tells me you're speaking too soon.
Summary: Sora and Kairi get it on,
Sora: Ohh, nooo.
but Sora's thoughts still linger on Riku...
Sora: Oh, no, please.
Roxas: *Hesitantly pats his back.*
Lemon, Sora x Kairi, Sora x Riku
Riku: As if we couldn't tell already. *Takes his seat, fashionably late.*
Sora: ... My life ... can't get any worse ...
A/N: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.
All Three: Ohthankgod.
Kingdom Hearts is © Disney Media or Square-Enix. The opening poem is from Frozen by Celldweller.
Sora: "Or". Ha. She doesn't know which.
Riku: Isn't it both?
Sora: ...
Inside this fantasy
It seems so real to me
Synthetic ecstasy
When her legs are open
Sora: Oh, fuck, it's a songfic!
Riku: Weren't you paying attention? It's a poemfic.
Roxas: *Interrupting Sora.* That's only worse. Is ... "synthetic ecstasy" sexy?
Riku: You're the Nobody. You tell us.
Roxas: *Bristle.*
This is what he had been craving all his life: Kairi.
Sora: Ha! Yes. I've been craving hot monkey sex with my best friend for 15 years. Yep. Fandom's got me right.
Now he had her, and she had him. However, something was nagging at his mind: the possibility that Kairi wasn’t the one for him.
Sora: Something's nagging at my mind, all right: poor Kairi's not here to defend herself.
Riku: I actually think this is a good thing.
Sora: *Thinks on it a minute.* Mmyeah.
Kairi moaned gently, her auburn hair down to her shoulders. She was letting loose, for once, and she was loving every minute of it.
Roxas: Because I'm sure she never lets loose and has fun. Nope. Nevar.
Sora: Especially not when she makes me cute necklaces of puka shells! *Shows proudly.*
Riku & Roxas: *Exchange Glances.*
True life behind the wall
Where men and angels fall
A fading memory
When my mind is frozen
Sora dismissed his thoughts effortlessly.
Riku: Not hard for him, really.
Sora: Hey!
Roxas: The title is "Breakdown", so. Shouldn't this ... really bug him? Undismissably bug him?
It was Kairi he wanted, it was Kairi he was getting.
Sora: Anyone think that looks a little familiar?
He positioned himself steadily, and ploughed into her with great success.
All Three: *Fist pump.* FOR GREAT JUSTICE.
Sora: With Great Success!
Roxas: Great British Success!
It was electric.
Roxas: Those're some funny toys, Mr. Magorium.
Sora: *Blushes hotly.*
Riku: *Cracking up.*
He loved it. Scrumptious.
Riku: I ... should have something witty to say here...
Roxas: But it's too stupefying?
Riku: Yeah...
*Snipsnip.*
Kairi pushed Sora even further into her, if that was possible. He was in her all the way up to his stomach.
All Three: *Stare, horrified, before crossing their legs in unison.*
Sora: She's ... she's devouring my--!
Riku & Roxas: *Clap hands over his mouth.*
Riku: Clearly written by a woman, given the severe lack of knowledge in male anatomy.
Roxas: And a virrrrgiiiiinnnn.
Riku: ... Was that neccessary?
Roxas: Yes. Yes, it was.
He thrust in and out effortlessly, pleasure racking up as he did so. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t stop: it felt too good.
In a few minutes, Sora came so hard he could feel his heartbeat in his ears.
Roxas: I love the switch of tenses there.
Sora: Why is my heartbeat in my ears? I have a heart in my brain?
Riku: If that were the case, you stabbed yourself in the wayyyy wrong place with Ansem's keyblade.
Roxas: Now you're doing the sing-song thing.
Riku: ... Fuck. I blame the fic.
Roxas and Sora: Suuuure, Riku.
Spent, he flopped down on the bed beside her. She grinned and tried to kiss him, but he pushed her off.
Sora: *Rapidly* tellmeI'mnotgonnahaveabitchfittellmeI'mnotgonnahaveabitchfittellmeI'mnotgonnahaveabitchfit
Riku: I'd be more surprised if Kairi did, since she, apparently, didn't orgasm.
Sora: *Headdesk.*
“What’s wrong?” She asked, her smile fading. They just had sex, and Sora wasn’t happy. This wasn’t supposed to be happening.
“It’s just…I’m worried.” He said finally, burying his hands in his hair.
“Worried about what?” She placed her hand on his shoulder. He pushed her off.
“You don’t understand!” Sora burst out of the room in tears.
Sora: Damn it! I'm having a bitchfit!
Roxas: With a badsexfic like this, I guess I see why.
Sora: *Pouty glare.*
She raised her hand at him, beckoning him back. Sora did not look back, running through the streets in the middle of a thunderstorm.
Riku: Naked? He's running through the streets naked?
The rain soothed him,
--and his naked body
and soon he stopped running like a
naked
bat out of
nudie
hell.
His crying ceased. Eventually, he came to a complete stop to admire the sky
in the nude.
Sora: Would you stop?!
Roxas: Seconded.
Sora: Motion accepted! *Slams judge's gavel.*
Riku: Wait, what the hell? Where did you get that?
Sora: *Grin* I have my ways.
Roxas: Do you have a BadFics Escape Route?
Sora: *Deflates* No.
All Three: *Sigh.*
*Snipsnip.*
The rain reminded him of Riku.
Riku: *Swallows anxiously.*
Sora: *Grin.* YOUR turn to feel awkward and-and ... abused!
Riku: I had an Ansem in my skin; haven't I suffered enough?
“Oh god…Riku…” Sora broke down in the middle of the street, crying once again. He screamed out for his best friend.
“What the fuck is going on with me?” He hollered, but no one could hear him. No one cared.
Roxas: Language, Sora; Language.
Sora: Oh, shut the fuck up. *Just to be spiteful.*
Ever since the hurricane, Sora wasn’t the same.
Riku: What the hell?! That's the most random thing I've ever read.
Roxas: *Reading ahead a bit.* Oh, no! Riku! You're not going to believe--
(An ominous, unseen force yanks Roxas from the theater.)
Sora & Riku: *Exchange nervous glances.*
Riku: I don't ... think I like the sound of that...
Riku went out into the sea to save his dog who had been at the shoreline.
Both: ...
The fierce winds forced the poor animal into the sea, and from there, the current pulled him out.
Both: .......
“Riku! You can’t! It’s too dangerous!” Sora cried out, beckoning his dearest friend back to dry land.
“Sora…” Riku looked back at his best friend. He stepped closer to him, and embraced him. He slowly tilted his head up, and soft, blue eyes locked with pale green ones.
Both: ................
“I love you,” he breathed huskily.
Riku: OH, WHAT THE FUCK?!
Sora: *Having scooted a few seats away.* Haha, Riku, your voice is corny. Get it? Husk? Corn? ... No?
Riku: *Smacks.*
He pressed his lips to Sora’s, expecting his friend to hate him forever.
Sora: And I do, Riku. I hate you forevar!
Riku: *Eyeroll.*
He planned to pull away as soon as possible, but Sora pushed back. He had loved his friend secretly for the past three years.
Sora: Hey, wait! I thought all I wanted my entire life was Kairi?
Riku: Well ...
Sora: ... Well...?
Riku: ... I have no excuse. It's a badfic; what do you expect?
They broke away when the howling wind reminded them that they were in the middle of a deadly tropical storm.
Tropical Storm: Y HALLO THAR =D
Both: *Keyblade Whip.*
Riku jumped into the water, and swam off, desperately fighting the waters.
He never saw Sora again.
Riku: After this fic, that looks like a blessing.
Sora: Shut up, jerkoff. I'm your best friend!
Riku: And according to this author, less important than my dog.
Sora: But still more important than your life!
Riku: ... Touch'e.
“Oh God, why?” He questioned spitefully. “Why did you have to take him?”
Tropical Storm: BECAUSE I AM T3H L33T.
Both: *More Keyblade Whipping.*
Sora: And stay down!
Wiping his tears away, he stood up sniffling. He had finally come to terms with his best friend’s supposed death. He slowly walked back to his house to apologize to Kairi for throwing that tantrum.
“God, I feel like such an asshole…”
Sora: You and me both!
(Silence Ensues.)
Both: ...
Riku: *Picks up the script Roxas left in his seat.* ... What the...?
Sora: *Peer.* ... What?
Riku: That's ... the end...
Sora: Whaaaaat?! That's retarded!
Riku: Ah, well ... I guess we're ... done.
Sora: Well, it ... really wasn't all that painful, I guess...
This was supposed to be a one-shot. Should I continue this? Answer in reviews, please. :(
Both: OH FUCK NO. *DART.*
Author: Rioxujaa. How I'm supposed to pronounce that, I have no idea.
Rating:
Just two is all it really needs. But the fanfic itself is NC-17. This IS a (het) sexfic (even if poorly written), so don't read if that's not your thing.
Full Name: IWantYou Sora, as quoted by Kairi.
Full Species: Unfucktasticus Whutanatomy.
Hair Color: "her auburn hair down to her shoulders" shortly followed by "She was letting loose". Does that count?
Eye Color: "soft, blue eyes locked with pale green ones". So canonlack and commalack. Whoo!
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: Well, the cameo of Tropical Storm has Super!Meme tattooed on his forehead, but other than that...
Special Possessions: It's really more of a lack of possessions. Well ... "possessions" meaning "clothes" ... in the street.
Origin: Destiny Islands on an Acid Trip.
Connections To Canon Characters: None. I swear.
Special Abilities: Penis Devouring Vaginas. D:
Other Annoying Traits: Um ... PDV? Randomly spliced flashbacks, bad dialogue, extensive spacing of paragraphs, and, the usual, OOC.
I Say: This is, actually, my first spork. I watched this community on an old account, but never submitted anything. But I still hope it's humorous. Reguarding the fic I sporked itself, it's not utterly impossible to read. Y'know, just ... a little unfathomable ... and ... dumb. But the, uh. Grammar's pretty good.
The theater blossoms open before the eyes with ratty curtains and seats with questionable substances sticking sadly to their fabric.
Roxas, who has just been ushered into the dank environment, scowls thoroughly with a script in his hands.
Roxas: Uh-oh. I think … I’ve been here before.
Sora: Yeah, well. Let's consider you my emotional support this time. *Motioning him over to a clean seat.*
Breakdown
Roxas: Well ... the title could be worse.
Sora: Something tells me you're speaking too soon.
Summary: Sora and Kairi get it on,
Sora: Ohh, nooo.
but Sora's thoughts still linger on Riku...
Sora: Oh, no, please.
Roxas: *Hesitantly pats his back.*
Lemon, Sora x Kairi, Sora x Riku
Riku: As if we couldn't tell already. *Takes his seat, fashionably late.*
Sora: ... My life ... can't get any worse ...
A/N: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.
All Three: Ohthankgod.
Kingdom Hearts is © Disney Media or Square-Enix. The opening poem is from Frozen by Celldweller.
Sora: "Or". Ha. She doesn't know which.
Riku: Isn't it both?
Sora: ...
Inside this fantasy
It seems so real to me
Synthetic ecstasy
When her legs are open
Sora: Oh, fuck, it's a songfic!
Riku: Weren't you paying attention? It's a poemfic.
Roxas: *Interrupting Sora.* That's only worse. Is ... "synthetic ecstasy" sexy?
Riku: You're the Nobody. You tell us.
Roxas: *Bristle.*
This is what he had been craving all his life: Kairi.
Sora: Ha! Yes. I've been craving hot monkey sex with my best friend for 15 years. Yep. Fandom's got me right.
Now he had her, and she had him. However, something was nagging at his mind: the possibility that Kairi wasn’t the one for him.
Sora: Something's nagging at my mind, all right: poor Kairi's not here to defend herself.
Riku: I actually think this is a good thing.
Sora: *Thinks on it a minute.* Mmyeah.
Kairi moaned gently, her auburn hair down to her shoulders. She was letting loose, for once, and she was loving every minute of it.
Roxas: Because I'm sure she never lets loose and has fun. Nope. Nevar.
Sora: Especially not when she makes me cute necklaces of puka shells! *Shows proudly.*
Riku & Roxas: *Exchange Glances.*
True life behind the wall
Where men and angels fall
A fading memory
When my mind is frozen
Sora dismissed his thoughts effortlessly.
Riku: Not hard for him, really.
Sora: Hey!
Roxas: The title is "Breakdown", so. Shouldn't this ... really bug him? Undismissably bug him?
It was Kairi he wanted, it was Kairi he was getting.
Sora: Anyone think that looks a little familiar?
He positioned himself steadily, and ploughed into her with great success.
All Three: *Fist pump.* FOR GREAT JUSTICE.
Sora: With Great Success!
Roxas: Great British Success!
It was electric.
Roxas: Those're some funny toys, Mr. Magorium.
Sora: *Blushes hotly.*
Riku: *Cracking up.*
He loved it. Scrumptious.
Riku: I ... should have something witty to say here...
Roxas: But it's too stupefying?
Riku: Yeah...
*Snipsnip.*
Kairi pushed Sora even further into her, if that was possible. He was in her all the way up to his stomach.
All Three: *Stare, horrified, before crossing their legs in unison.*
Sora: She's ... she's devouring my--!
Riku & Roxas: *Clap hands over his mouth.*
Riku: Clearly written by a woman, given the severe lack of knowledge in male anatomy.
Roxas: And a virrrrgiiiiinnnn.
Riku: ... Was that neccessary?
Roxas: Yes. Yes, it was.
He thrust in and out effortlessly, pleasure racking up as he did so. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t stop: it felt too good.
In a few minutes, Sora came so hard he could feel his heartbeat in his ears.
Roxas: I love the switch of tenses there.
Sora: Why is my heartbeat in my ears? I have a heart in my brain?
Riku: If that were the case, you stabbed yourself in the wayyyy wrong place with Ansem's keyblade.
Roxas: Now you're doing the sing-song thing.
Riku: ... Fuck. I blame the fic.
Roxas and Sora: Suuuure, Riku.
Spent, he flopped down on the bed beside her. She grinned and tried to kiss him, but he pushed her off.
Sora: *Rapidly* tellmeI'mnotgonnahaveabitchfittellmeI'mnotgonnahaveabitchfittellmeI'mnotgonnahaveabitchfit
Riku: I'd be more surprised if Kairi did, since she, apparently, didn't orgasm.
Sora: *Headdesk.*
“What’s wrong?” She asked, her smile fading. They just had sex, and Sora wasn’t happy. This wasn’t supposed to be happening.
“It’s just…I’m worried.” He said finally, burying his hands in his hair.
“Worried about what?” She placed her hand on his shoulder. He pushed her off.
“You don’t understand!” Sora burst out of the room in tears.
Sora: Damn it! I'm having a bitchfit!
Roxas: With a badsexfic like this, I guess I see why.
Sora: *Pouty glare.*
She raised her hand at him, beckoning him back. Sora did not look back, running through the streets in the middle of a thunderstorm.
Riku: Naked? He's running through the streets naked?
The rain soothed him,
--and his naked body
and soon he stopped running like a
naked
bat out of
nudie
hell.
His crying ceased. Eventually, he came to a complete stop to admire the sky
in the nude.
Sora: Would you stop?!
Roxas: Seconded.
Sora: Motion accepted! *Slams judge's gavel.*
Riku: Wait, what the hell? Where did you get that?
Sora: *Grin* I have my ways.
Roxas: Do you have a BadFics Escape Route?
Sora: *Deflates* No.
All Three: *Sigh.*
*Snipsnip.*
The rain reminded him of Riku.
Riku: *Swallows anxiously.*
Sora: *Grin.* YOUR turn to feel awkward and-and ... abused!
Riku: I had an Ansem in my skin; haven't I suffered enough?
“Oh god…Riku…” Sora broke down in the middle of the street, crying once again. He screamed out for his best friend.
“What the fuck is going on with me?” He hollered, but no one could hear him. No one cared.
Roxas: Language, Sora; Language.
Sora: Oh, shut the fuck up. *Just to be spiteful.*
Ever since the hurricane, Sora wasn’t the same.
Riku: What the hell?! That's the most random thing I've ever read.
Roxas: *Reading ahead a bit.* Oh, no! Riku! You're not going to believe--
(An ominous, unseen force yanks Roxas from the theater.)
Sora & Riku: *Exchange nervous glances.*
Riku: I don't ... think I like the sound of that...
Riku went out into the sea to save his dog who had been at the shoreline.
Both: ...
The fierce winds forced the poor animal into the sea, and from there, the current pulled him out.
Both: .......
“Riku! You can’t! It’s too dangerous!” Sora cried out, beckoning his dearest friend back to dry land.
“Sora…” Riku looked back at his best friend. He stepped closer to him, and embraced him. He slowly tilted his head up, and soft, blue eyes locked with pale green ones.
Both: ................
“I love you,” he breathed huskily.
Riku: OH, WHAT THE FUCK?!
Sora: *Having scooted a few seats away.* Haha, Riku, your voice is corny. Get it? Husk? Corn? ... No?
Riku: *Smacks.*
He pressed his lips to Sora’s, expecting his friend to hate him forever.
Sora: And I do, Riku. I hate you forevar!
Riku: *Eyeroll.*
He planned to pull away as soon as possible, but Sora pushed back. He had loved his friend secretly for the past three years.
Sora: Hey, wait! I thought all I wanted my entire life was Kairi?
Riku: Well ...
Sora: ... Well...?
Riku: ... I have no excuse. It's a badfic; what do you expect?
They broke away when the howling wind reminded them that they were in the middle of a deadly tropical storm.
Tropical Storm: Y HALLO THAR =D
Both: *Keyblade Whip.*
Riku jumped into the water, and swam off, desperately fighting the waters.
He never saw Sora again.
Riku: After this fic, that looks like a blessing.
Sora: Shut up, jerkoff. I'm your best friend!
Riku: And according to this author, less important than my dog.
Sora: But still more important than your life!
Riku: ... Touch'e.
“Oh God, why?” He questioned spitefully. “Why did you have to take him?”
Tropical Storm: BECAUSE I AM T3H L33T.
Both: *More Keyblade Whipping.*
Sora: And stay down!
Wiping his tears away, he stood up sniffling. He had finally come to terms with his best friend’s supposed death. He slowly walked back to his house to apologize to Kairi for throwing that tantrum.
“God, I feel like such an asshole…”
Sora: You and me both!
(Silence Ensues.)
Both: ...
Riku: *Picks up the script Roxas left in his seat.* ... What the...?
Sora: *Peer.* ... What?
Riku: That's ... the end...
Sora: Whaaaaat?! That's retarded!
Riku: Ah, well ... I guess we're ... done.
Sora: Well, it ... really wasn't all that painful, I guess...
This was supposed to be a one-shot. Should I continue this? Answer in reviews, please. :(
Both: OH FUCK NO. *DART.*