BIG UPDATE
ok so i havent updated in nearly a month and a lot has happened over that time. a lot..
ive been working steadily and getting myself back into the whole working thing. things have gone well i guess. work sucks, but fuck, it buys me shit. i get fucked up and wake up late for work. thats not good. oh well, life goes on.
jons in town right now. he came for a week. i havent seen him since christmas. weve been doing shit every night just like the old days. its good to have him back. stevens in town, theresa came in town. lara even came over the other night. it was like the crew, or atleast half of it reunited. im really happy to see them all.
someone else showed up in town as well... my ex carlyn..
i went out with her 2 nights this week and they were the damn best nights ive had in over a year. she left for notre dame again today. ive been incredibly sad. i cannot stop thinking about her. it sucks because i remember exactly why i dated her to begin with. i remember why i fell in love with her. within 2 nights, i experienced what i did almost 1 year and a half ago. if i could reverse time, i would damn well do it. i think carlyn was the best for me. she has a great thing going for her. she doesnt tolerate drama nor does she bring it to the table. i had the best time ever with her. all the memories came back and i absolutely cherished every minute i was spending with her. shes done exactly what ive ever wanted a girl to do. make me happy 24/7. no matter what, i dont think i could ever get sick of her. there are some people you can only take for a certain amount of time, but carlyn, man.. never would i get sick of her. i know i keep ramblin on, but im getting it all out now so i can try to sleep. i know i will be thinking about her as i try to fall asleep. damn she really does mean a lot to me. jon and i were talking tonight about the whole ordeal with her and myself. he told me he could see us getting back together. i think that would make me the happiest person if that happened. when he said that, it brought a smile to my face because i have something to look forward to now...if it's meant to be that is. all i can do now is hope. not pray. i think praying would be a little extreme and when i think of prayer it reverts to religion and God. i dont think it should be used in a manner of wishing for something. she kept telling me she missed me. i quickly returned her message. i got so drunk at hammerheads i had to get carlyn to drive us back home. we came back here and layed together talking about the old days. man, im so fucking lonely its ridiculous. seeing her was almost like a tease. i got to see her and have great fun with her but then she leaves. theres nothing i can do. i never stopped caring and she knows that now...
now that i kinda got that out i'll go on with some more stories.
( im still thinking about her!!!!!)
well the boys and i have been getting pretty fucked up the past few nights. i had a fucking blast at hammerheads last night. i havent had that much fun in forever. i think i actually danced? i was hammered as shit. we kept taking shots of jager and doing jager bombs. quarter well drinks. good times i guess. i had a lot of fun. i saw everyone. all of us back together getting fucked up. very fun.
i just keep dazing off thinking about shit. im trying to remember what all i can write down..
erins leaving for the air force soon. its gonan be sad. she was like a person i couldnt get pissed at. i dont think erin and i ever had any kind of conflicts..i will miss her a lot. although we were supposed to hang out one night and that didnt happen.
i think ive come to a conclusion that i just dont give a fuck anymore about life itself. it's defintely "over-rated." to all those "happy" people, it must be damn good to smile about something everyday.
goodnight
ive been working steadily and getting myself back into the whole working thing. things have gone well i guess. work sucks, but fuck, it buys me shit. i get fucked up and wake up late for work. thats not good. oh well, life goes on.
jons in town right now. he came for a week. i havent seen him since christmas. weve been doing shit every night just like the old days. its good to have him back. stevens in town, theresa came in town. lara even came over the other night. it was like the crew, or atleast half of it reunited. im really happy to see them all.
someone else showed up in town as well... my ex carlyn..
i went out with her 2 nights this week and they were the damn best nights ive had in over a year. she left for notre dame again today. ive been incredibly sad. i cannot stop thinking about her. it sucks because i remember exactly why i dated her to begin with. i remember why i fell in love with her. within 2 nights, i experienced what i did almost 1 year and a half ago. if i could reverse time, i would damn well do it. i think carlyn was the best for me. she has a great thing going for her. she doesnt tolerate drama nor does she bring it to the table. i had the best time ever with her. all the memories came back and i absolutely cherished every minute i was spending with her. shes done exactly what ive ever wanted a girl to do. make me happy 24/7. no matter what, i dont think i could ever get sick of her. there are some people you can only take for a certain amount of time, but carlyn, man.. never would i get sick of her. i know i keep ramblin on, but im getting it all out now so i can try to sleep. i know i will be thinking about her as i try to fall asleep. damn she really does mean a lot to me. jon and i were talking tonight about the whole ordeal with her and myself. he told me he could see us getting back together. i think that would make me the happiest person if that happened. when he said that, it brought a smile to my face because i have something to look forward to now...if it's meant to be that is. all i can do now is hope. not pray. i think praying would be a little extreme and when i think of prayer it reverts to religion and God. i dont think it should be used in a manner of wishing for something. she kept telling me she missed me. i quickly returned her message. i got so drunk at hammerheads i had to get carlyn to drive us back home. we came back here and layed together talking about the old days. man, im so fucking lonely its ridiculous. seeing her was almost like a tease. i got to see her and have great fun with her but then she leaves. theres nothing i can do. i never stopped caring and she knows that now...
now that i kinda got that out i'll go on with some more stories.
( im still thinking about her!!!!!)
well the boys and i have been getting pretty fucked up the past few nights. i had a fucking blast at hammerheads last night. i havent had that much fun in forever. i think i actually danced? i was hammered as shit. we kept taking shots of jager and doing jager bombs. quarter well drinks. good times i guess. i had a lot of fun. i saw everyone. all of us back together getting fucked up. very fun.
i just keep dazing off thinking about shit. im trying to remember what all i can write down..
erins leaving for the air force soon. its gonan be sad. she was like a person i couldnt get pissed at. i dont think erin and i ever had any kind of conflicts..i will miss her a lot. although we were supposed to hang out one night and that didnt happen.
i think ive come to a conclusion that i just dont give a fuck anymore about life itself. it's defintely "over-rated." to all those "happy" people, it must be damn good to smile about something everyday.
goodnight