Guardian Part Four
Part Three
Dean was ruined. He knew it, all hunters knew it, hell, anyone he met within the first five minutes knew it. He only cared about one thing and one thing only: Kill Yellow Eyes.
Thing was, he wasn’t any closer than he had been before. He could try to rack up some data but nothing seemed to connect to each other. He couldn’t point out any signs that could warn of the demon appearance and he still didn’t even know why the fuck the thing wanted with his family. God he needed another drink. That thing had just entered his house, killed his mother but why not everyone? Why just his mother?
Dean finished the bottle and reached for another.
Then, all these years later, what was advantage in killing off Sammy? Dean’s eyes tightened and he grabbed one of the empty glasses around him and threw against the wall. It shattered easily and he fell back into his chair with a groan. He put his hands over his face.
What could he gain in killing Jessica? Why bring someone who wasn’t family into this? If he was going after everyone the family had been in contact with, why were so many of his father’s hunter buddies still alive?
Hell, why in the name of God was Dean not targeted? Why was he not dead yet?
Why?
“What a good question,” Dean said aloud and the shakily stood up. He stumbled a bit trying to find his car keys and get his butt outside. Of course, now that he was out, he wasn’t sure exactly where he parked the car since it wasn’t right in front of him. He eventually found it, all the way down at the end. Some fucker must’ve taken his usual place.
It wasn’t unusual for Dean to be heavily drinking. But miraculously, driving while intoxicated had not been a problem. As soon as Dean got into his car (it took him awhile; he kept dropping the keys) Castiel was already sitting in the front passenger seat. The Winchester stilled for a moment, and the angel was hoping it was because whatever part of him that was sober, was telling him how much this was a bad idea. But he was wrong. Dean just took a few deeps breathes and then checked his mirrors. He was a little wobbly and almost hit a nearby parked car but Dean either didn’t notice or didn’t care.
They made it to the main road and that’s when it got bad. Dean floored a four way stop, making two other cars nearly crash when one swayed to avoid Dean.
Castiel wanted to yell; He wanted to get through to Dean. This was not going to make Heaven happy and there was absolutely no way this would help his Fate. But he couldn’t do anything. Ever since his … visit with Anna, she had proven true to her word: Dean had forgotten all about him. Not only that, but in his absence he turned into a man who relied on alcohol so he could ignore whatever life threw at him.
There was a pulling in Castiel’s chest and he wanted, oh Lord help him, he wanted so bad for Dean to remember him. His influence had made an impact on Dean and he couldn’t believe Heaven could deny the beauty in that. How could this creature sitting beside him be better for fate of Heaven?
The impala was already going fast but Castiel watched as the human lowered his foot on the pedal. They were yanked backwards and Dean gripped the wheel harder. They were headed straight for a gate and beyond that was fifty foot drop to the rushing river below.
“Dean!” He yelled, panicked and stared at the man sitting beside him, willing him to stop.
But he didn’t.
Dean’s foot stayed on the gas.
Castiel would pay for this later but he couldn’t just let Dean die. He was suppose to protect; Guard his charge from harm. And while others might have just stood by and looked elsewhere and despite everything Anna had done to make him stop whatever he was doing- Castiel quickly sprang into action.
This recent… feeling was clouding his orders. He couldn’t save Dean during the hunts. He wasn’t there when Dean really needed him. But Castiel had saved him before and now: There was no way he’d just sit back and allow Dean to throw himself into Hell.
He grabbed Dean’s arm… and found out he couldn’t make any sort of physical contact.
No.
Nonononono.
Heaven had barred him from many of his powers but Castiel prayed with all his faith that he could summon the power he needed to save Dean. The power was just out of reach he could practically taste it but even as he summoned all that he could as he turned to face Dean and hit him with every ounce left of his grace - it wasn’t enough to halt him.
In mere seconds they were crashing through the steel gate and diving into the water below.
When Dean opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was his old home. There was no smoke rising through the windows or the wailing of sirens in the distance. There were birds chirping and neighbors out mowing the lawn. Something was tickling at his brain - trying to get him to remember something - but Dean shooed it away. He walked over to the home he lived in all those years ago. For some reason he felt the need to knock, almost wishing that a familiar face would answer and he could finally, truly, be home.
Feeling the weight of someone stare behind him though, Dean stopped himself from rapping against the door and brought his hand back to his side. He turned around and right away notices a man in a trench coat looking at him.
“Can I help you?” He asked and though he knew he should be on his guard, he felt oddly relieved.
There’s something familiar about this guy who was currently wearing a pained expression.
He stared back at the man, and noticed the unnatural brightness of the color blue and then he remembered. Dean felt as if he was getting hit by a train as he finally remembered.
“Cas?”
The guy - Castiel, Dean is sure of it now- looks startled and then pained once again.
“Cas, it’s really you!”
Castiel opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out so he promptly shut it. He wanted to laugh, feeling physically ill when Dean’s wide eyed expression now reminded him so much of the human’s infant years. And just like then, Dean doesn’t stop with the questions.
“Where have you been? What’s going on? Where exactly are we? Am I… dead? I’m dead, aren’t I? Please tell me Sammy isn’t dead.”
Dean now stood in front of him, having walked the whole time while he was talking. Up close, Castiel just stared into those green orbs and wished he didn’t have to do this. He wished he could just leave Dean here, peacefully.
But Castiel doesn’t answer; He wasn’t allowed.
Instead, he takes a step closer to Dean. He raised his arm and touched his forehead. He ignored the throbbing pain of the human’s - Dean’s- emotion as he erased the memory and sent his charge back to the world of the living.
Dean wasn’t allowed to know anything.
Castiel will continue to watch Dean and if he died a few more times, well, Heaven said that was just and part of the learning system. Under no circumstances was Dean to know of his existence. It was his job to stay in the background and watch Dean self-destruct until the human could finally be of use.
Back down, Dean woke up in another crappy motel, clothes torn up. He got up from the bed and headed toward his spare liquor. Pouring a glass, he stopped and looked at himself in the mirror. He takes in his ripped clothing and bloodied arm. He stared for a good, long while. And then he chugged the rest of his drink. And poured himself another and another.
Castiel can only watch. Like the perfect solider following orders.
But really he's just a failed Guardian Angel.
THE END