trotting off

[king_of_mods]

allright! i've cleaned nathan's flat, got claire out of bed to mind the shop, made sure the kettle's off, sat on my suitcase to make sure it would latch (was a lot easier when bollo was around, the mad monkey), got a sack of travel sweets, got me travel suit, my glitter wellies, some bongo brothers mp3s from spider, and got me thumb warmed up and

Comments

[naboo_thats_who]

You're going to get raped with bagpipes.

[king_of_mods]

imagine the sound of that! i should get a soundman to record it, do a little mixing and sampling...

[naboo_thats_who]

Imagine the feel of it, you berk. Tartan sliding up against your rump. You'll have rug burns for weeks.

Not to mention the internal damage.

Dead set on this, are you?

[king_of_mods]

got your mum face on today, or what? just having a little lark over the countryside, naboo, fresh air and rolling hills. i got ways of putting off rapists - how else you think i've lasted this long?

[naboo_thats_who]

Protection of burlier, moustachioed men. And me.

How long will this 'lark' last?

[king_of_mods]

what, howard? he'd protect himself from hungry seagulls by rolling in sardines. or don't you remember the last few years?

[naboo_thats_who]

Yeah, but he had a certain...height, I suppose. Also everyone assumed you two were married. That tends to put rapists off. They weren't to know he'd crumple at the first sign of trouble.

You're so transparent. Captain Clingfilm, we'll call you. Off to Scotland to track him down, right? Lovelorn puppy that you are.

[king_of_mods]

like a man made of crisps in the wind.

lovelorn? your turbans on too tight naboo. i'm not even going to scotland, i'm heading to cardiff to join torchwood.

[naboo_thats_who]

Nice. Joining a fictional TV show.

Well, I've always wanted to meet Captain Jack, and punch Owen in the face. I'll give you a lift.

[king_of_mods]

well maybe i'm going up early for the edinburgh festival. yeah, that's it!

[naboo_thats_who]

Name anyone at the Festival.

Your alibi's slipping, Columbo.

[king_of_mods]

bootsy collins?

[naboo_thats_who]

I thought he was dead.

[king_of_mods]

judy collins!

[naboo_thats_who]

Who?

Vince, you're crap at this. Would you just own up?

[king_of_mods]

gotta run, naboo! a white van with no windows just stopped for me, genius. bye!