i'm hard-boiled

[king_of_mods]

naboo says he'd know if howard was pushin up daisies somewhere and i reckon he's right, but i'm not really sure he's looked into it lately. he's got a lot on these days, getting claire up to date on his dvd collection and taking care of bollo's runny-eye problem

Comments

[clairesicle]

Sorry, Vince. I really haven't seen Howard since the night of the fire. Can Naboo do a spell? Actually, I know that he can. Will he?

Oh, he'll probably give me a poke for even bringing him up.

What's a.. 'heater down your mush and squirt metal'?

[king_of_mods]

cheers, claire! now that you've gone and done it, i don't have to ask naboo myself and get the big lecture and back-turning about exploiting my shamanic connections.

thats hard-boiled detective talk. not sure what it means but it sounds wicked. call me nancy drew.

[clairesicle]

Well, shit.

sorry, naboo?

I don't think Nancy was very hard-boiled but i'm happy to call you nancy if that's what you want, nancy.

[naboo_thats_who]

Sorry isn't going to get back my Hollyoaks time, is it?

If I'm doing this spell, you're bloody helping me, Miss Whoring-A-Shaman's-Spellbook-Out. I'll find that dressing gown again.

Er if you remem- never mi- forget I said anything.

[clairesicle]

That kitten dressing gown? I remember it. It's a very odd thing to ask women to put on when they're helping you with some kind of ritual. What ritual was that, anyway? Was it...oh, it must have been the one where we located Dan. Of course.

And speaking of that time, I went through quite a lot to get your turban back for you. And we weren't even friends then, not really. I'm sort of a blippin fool fantastic person, if you think about it?

[naboo_thats_who]

You were expecting some kind of gold bikini and chains, I expect? I can go and get a gold bikini, if you want. Seriously. If you want to do this spell in a bikini, it's no trouble at all. I can find one. Bollo has one.

Locating Dan, now that takes me back. Any chance we could lose him again? A little more permanently?

You're both more fantastic and less sane than I thought you were. This puts me at the top of the charts, sanity-wise. And I'm wearing a dress.

[clairesicle]

Bollo and I aren't the same size. I'm fairly certain his tits are bigger.

I am not less sane, and if I am I'm sure it's your fault. You've probably developed a hearty tolerance to all these shamanic, erm, indulgences, and I'm still seeing the alphabet at the end of my eyelashes.

[naboo_thats_who]

Don't be so hard on yourself. I've got a potion that would beef you right up, if you're developing a complex.

What, already? We've only started! As far as indulgences go, you're on the bottom rung. You've got to ride it out, see it through, go where the juju takes you oh god I've turned into Howard what the hell.

[clairesicle]

Now who's whoring out his shaman spellbook! And I wasn't being hard on myself but I think you jkust were.

Why would you turn into Howard? Why would you want to do that to me? You're my familiar shaman and bollo is my familiar shamans familiar and i'm not familiar with howard very much at all, so does that mean i have to get familiar with him? what does famiiar even mean anymore?

hee, lettesr.

[naboo_thats_who]

Aw, passed-out normals are sort of sweet.

When morning time approaches, Lois Lane, there's something in the biscuit tin that should help with the hangover. (No, not biscuits.)