(no subject)
I found out today that when i was first diagnosed as having a 'mental illness' my mum saw the doctors without me, and they asked her if there was any possibility i had been a victim of sexual abuse.
That's the kindof very intrusive question you get used to as a mental health patient, but mental health stuff always shocked and scared my mum and dad.
To question a parent without the patients permission - i guess that's something that only happens to you when you're a child psych patient, whereas when you're under the adult services i guess questions like that breach confidentiality? Interesting. I know my psychiatrist got me to sign a load of forms so that she could talk to my dad in an appointment without me when i was really ill last year.
I can't remember that much about my childhood psych service experiences. Probably they weren't very interesting, they probably felt like just another appointment, like the paediatricians, the physios, the GPs, and the neurologists. Just another appointment where i nodded along, gave them everything they wanted to hear, pretended that i could be bothered to do any of my 'homework'. I expect i never really thought that there was any possibility i'd still be under mental health services for the next 5 years either. I do remember the huge fuss that was made at my first appointment when dad wouldn't come to the appointment with me. He didn't want to go in there, and i didn't want him there particularly. To be honest, my dad and i didn't really know eachother well at all back then.
I am ALWAYS hungry at the moment. I don't know why. It's hard work to keep me satiated for long.
This is todays food:
Breakfast: banana, coffee (w/ milk and sugar)
Mid-morning: coffee
Lunch: 3 egg omelette with pepper and cheese, slice of toast, Muller 'corner' yoghurt
Snack: 4 dates, slice of fig-loaf
Late afternoon: milk-based hot chocolate
Dinner: fishcakes, peas
Snack: kitkat, tea
Snack: huge bowl of butter popcorn, whole chocolate orange
Now, i'm not good at calorie-counting, but doesn't that look like a lot?? It's wayyyyy past 2000cals, i know that. The choc orange alone is 800. And... i did no exercise!!! I didn't even walk anywhere!! And i was SO hungry between meals and snacks too, before dinner i felt sick with hunger. Feeding myself is so damned expensive with this vast need for food, especially when i eat primarily nutritious food (unlike today where i just resorted to junk to fill myself up). And it's stressful too, because i have such anxiety over food - in fact i find it hard reading back over what i've eaten, just because it looks so 'bad'.
That's the kindof very intrusive question you get used to as a mental health patient, but mental health stuff always shocked and scared my mum and dad.
To question a parent without the patients permission - i guess that's something that only happens to you when you're a child psych patient, whereas when you're under the adult services i guess questions like that breach confidentiality? Interesting. I know my psychiatrist got me to sign a load of forms so that she could talk to my dad in an appointment without me when i was really ill last year.
I can't remember that much about my childhood psych service experiences. Probably they weren't very interesting, they probably felt like just another appointment, like the paediatricians, the physios, the GPs, and the neurologists. Just another appointment where i nodded along, gave them everything they wanted to hear, pretended that i could be bothered to do any of my 'homework'. I expect i never really thought that there was any possibility i'd still be under mental health services for the next 5 years either. I do remember the huge fuss that was made at my first appointment when dad wouldn't come to the appointment with me. He didn't want to go in there, and i didn't want him there particularly. To be honest, my dad and i didn't really know eachother well at all back then.
I am ALWAYS hungry at the moment. I don't know why. It's hard work to keep me satiated for long.
This is todays food:
Breakfast: banana, coffee (w/ milk and sugar)
Mid-morning: coffee
Lunch: 3 egg omelette with pepper and cheese, slice of toast, Muller 'corner' yoghurt
Snack: 4 dates, slice of fig-loaf
Late afternoon: milk-based hot chocolate
Dinner: fishcakes, peas
Snack: kitkat, tea
Snack: huge bowl of butter popcorn, whole chocolate orange
Now, i'm not good at calorie-counting, but doesn't that look like a lot?? It's wayyyyy past 2000cals, i know that. The choc orange alone is 800. And... i did no exercise!!! I didn't even walk anywhere!! And i was SO hungry between meals and snacks too, before dinner i felt sick with hunger. Feeding myself is so damned expensive with this vast need for food, especially when i eat primarily nutritious food (unlike today where i just resorted to junk to fill myself up). And it's stressful too, because i have such anxiety over food - in fact i find it hard reading back over what i've eaten, just because it looks so 'bad'.