Birthdays SUCK

[kinderbaby]

Ok so here are my thoughts...I'm not celebrating next year. The last couple of birthdays have been complete SHIT!! It's just a huge set-up for disapointment. You have all these expectations and it just never works out. People don't show, they ditch out at the last minute, they embarass the living shit out of you, they don't want to do what you have

Comments

[_7of11]

great how understanding you are of other peoples' schedules and commitments.

[kinderbaby]

what the hell is that supposed to mean? None of that journal was directed at you, I told you I understood. Do you really think I'm the kind of person who would say I understood to you and then go behind your back and bitch about it in a forum you had access to? That hurts.

[_7of11]

you know, i'm not one that requires a lot of affirmation but when you write something like and specifically commend select people for their efforts and exclude all others, what am i supposed to believe? i figured a phone call would have meant something and you know what, i don't exactly expect the whole internet to know i made one but i thought you'd at least appreciate that and at least exclude me as a subject of your rant. i'm being straight up when i say reading this post and not seeing that affirmation equally hurts as much as what i said to you. i was thinking about you hoping your day would go well and tried my best to accomodate and i was left out.

perhaps there is a misunderstanding in this, but what i read said something much different than what i'd normally see from you.

[kinderbaby]

I mentioned those that were there for the night, because they were with me when the shit hit the fan, they know what happened...I didn't mention everyone who called or sent messages to me...I'm sorry if I excluded you, but this has been a horrible time for me, I'm STILL depressed about it...and I'm sorry if I wasn't thinking clearly...I would have hoped you would know me better than to think I deliberatly excluded you...all this has accomplished is that my day is worse...I never thought you would post something hurtful in my LJ. I just assumed you would know you weren't a part of my rant, but I guess I assumed too much. I'm sorry for that.

[_7of11]

i won't downplay your perspectives and issues with the matter, but i have to say that as harsh as it seems i just find that birthdays get worse as we age. though situation and circumstance don't by justification make for bad experiences, the fact is that things don't always turn out as they seem and perhaps let it be we're forced to accept them as they are. without exception my birthdays for the past three years were spent either cramming for an exam or writing an exam the day of and i've just grown to accept it. i'm not saying you should immediately do the same but like you always say, look to the positives in it. those who showed up were there with you and shit hitting the fan or not they came out to show something and that's what we should be happy about

[kinderbaby]

I don't know why, but I'm always super sensitive and emotional and depressed on my birthday all the time. I should just stop planning things and then I wouldn't have any disappointments. I'm sorry if I excluded you, I never meant to, I don't hold anything against you for not coming. You didn't just bail or ditch and I did appreciate your call. I understand your being cynical and I know you know me well enough to understand my crazy emotions. So sorry, you know I love you!