How does it feel to be alone?
It has been a long time since i post an entry. It was like 44 weeks ago? So, during these 44 weeks, many things did happened and i only remembered those events that are worth remembering. I have been to 东方神起 (Dong Bang Shin Ki) concert in Malaysia on the 24th November 2007...HEY..now then i realise that this concert is the only event that is worth remembering during the 44 weeks..DAMN GOD. Hence the conclusion is that there are many UNHAPPY events happened to me. Halleluya!!!!
OK...No nonsense now..Well, this is how i feel RIGHT NOW and i think i really need to type it out.
Dear Mummy and daddy,
IF BOTH YOU HATE ME ALOT, then thats too bad. I am getting tired of pleasing both of you. I have been acting crazy, funny just to see the smiles on your faces but i didn't see it. What i got was scoldings and all especially from you mummy. Now i will get things clear here. IF you are still going to be bias towards sis, then i might as well move out straight away once i am 21. Or even now to Malaysia. YES, i agree that i am petty and get jealous easily and you think being petty or jealous are CHILDISH. Fine! I am telling you right now that don't ever GIVE EXCUSES LIKE, " I ALMOST LOST YOUR SISTER TWICE AND HENCE I HAVE TO GIVE MORE LOVE TOWARDS HER THEN YOU. I HAVE GAVE YOU ALL MY LOVE AND CARE FOR 5 YEARS BEFORE YOUR SIS WAS BORN. BE SENSIBLE AND UNDERSTANDING." After she was born, i was practically left out. But i always tell myself, " I am understanding, I am a good and sensible girl, don't get jealous because she is your sister! " From then on, i try to be independent. Thats the reason why some of my friends says that my thinking can be very different from theirs. I am thinking like an old woman. I have tried doing things on my own but i soon found out that it was very taxing.
I started to change when i was secondary 3, i decided to share everything with you and daddy. But both of you were not interested what happened to me in school. I tried to tell and share everything on what i do in school and the outing with my friends. It was yesterday, you mummy, asked me to shut up (You said that i am noisy) and said that you are tired of listening to all my stuff and say that you want to get to sleep and you chase me out of your room. Your said that you have to get up early to work the next day. OK, i am sorry to disturb you. However, i got damned pissed off this morning when i heard from granny that you are not working today.
Thanks mum, what an excuse to chase me out of your room and not to listen to me anymore. I AM NOT GOING TO SHARE ANYTHING WITH YOU ALL EVER AGAIN. DO everything you please with sis and i am not going to interfere anything ANYMORE!
I JUST REALISE THAT I HAVE BEEN AN IDIOT FOR YEARS. THANKS FOR WAKING ME UP MUMMY.
OK...No nonsense now..Well, this is how i feel RIGHT NOW and i think i really need to type it out.
Dear Mummy and daddy,
IF BOTH YOU HATE ME ALOT, then thats too bad. I am getting tired of pleasing both of you. I have been acting crazy, funny just to see the smiles on your faces but i didn't see it. What i got was scoldings and all especially from you mummy. Now i will get things clear here. IF you are still going to be bias towards sis, then i might as well move out straight away once i am 21. Or even now to Malaysia. YES, i agree that i am petty and get jealous easily and you think being petty or jealous are CHILDISH. Fine! I am telling you right now that don't ever GIVE EXCUSES LIKE, " I ALMOST LOST YOUR SISTER TWICE AND HENCE I HAVE TO GIVE MORE LOVE TOWARDS HER THEN YOU. I HAVE GAVE YOU ALL MY LOVE AND CARE FOR 5 YEARS BEFORE YOUR SIS WAS BORN. BE SENSIBLE AND UNDERSTANDING." After she was born, i was practically left out. But i always tell myself, " I am understanding, I am a good and sensible girl, don't get jealous because she is your sister! " From then on, i try to be independent. Thats the reason why some of my friends says that my thinking can be very different from theirs. I am thinking like an old woman. I have tried doing things on my own but i soon found out that it was very taxing.
I started to change when i was secondary 3, i decided to share everything with you and daddy. But both of you were not interested what happened to me in school. I tried to tell and share everything on what i do in school and the outing with my friends. It was yesterday, you mummy, asked me to shut up (You said that i am noisy) and said that you are tired of listening to all my stuff and say that you want to get to sleep and you chase me out of your room. Your said that you have to get up early to work the next day. OK, i am sorry to disturb you. However, i got damned pissed off this morning when i heard from granny that you are not working today.
Thanks mum, what an excuse to chase me out of your room and not to listen to me anymore. I AM NOT GOING TO SHARE ANYTHING WITH YOU ALL EVER AGAIN. DO everything you please with sis and i am not going to interfere anything ANYMORE!
I JUST REALISE THAT I HAVE BEEN AN IDIOT FOR YEARS. THANKS FOR WAKING ME UP MUMMY.