Ask Heechul, Second Edition
Title: Ask Heechul, Second Edition
Pairing: None
Rating: G/PG
Length: 1635 words
Greetings, Petals! I’m so glad you all enjoyed the first edition of my column! I’m sure you all found the advice quite helpful. Several of the others are jealous that they don’t have their own column, but I had to explain to them that they are just not as cool as I am. I think I might be nice and let them have guest spots though, if they behave. I want to thank you again for submitting all of your questions, and I’m sure this week’s column will be just as helpful as the last.
Enjoy!
Letter One:
Dear Heechul,
My girlfriend has an identical twin, and when we got drunk at their birthday party, I think I slept with her twin, considering my girlfriend has no memory whatsoever of that unfaithful night.
I don't know how I could tell her what happen... any advice?
-Mr. Oblivion
Mr. Oblivion,
If you ‘think’ you slept with her twin, you don’t seem to have much memory of that night either. If it’s possible that her sister was that boring in bed, perhaps it would be best if you just left the situation alone. Girls tend to be rather cranky about things like this, so if you’re not careful you might find yourself being forced to downgrade from your current girlfriend two her sister, who’s performance was apparently not very memorable. Then again, perhaps the said event didn’t happen at all, I know I tend to have some rather vivid dreams sometimes when I’ve had too much soju.
If twin A (your girlfriend) doesn’t remember, and twin B (the sister) doesn’t bring it up, just keep your mouth shut, and don’t drink around the twins anymore, or at least make them wear big name tags so you can be sure you’re taking the right one home.
Heechul
Letter Two:
Dear Darling Heechul,
Is it wrong to tell someone you rejected in the past that you changed your mind and want to be with them, even though they've already moved on and are with someone else? I mean, I don't want to break the new couple up, but I want that person to know I'm still an option, if they would ever be interested in me again.
-Sincerely, Future-Homewrecker
Dear Homewrecker,
It depends on the reason you rejected them. If you told them they were uglier than a wart-covered toad, then went to the optometrist and got new glasses and discovered that they did not look toad-like at all, I don’t think your new confession would go over well. However, if they were rejected because you were not ready for a relationship, or if you were in another relationship at that time, I see nothing wrong with making that knowledge known.
You will be putting yourself in a tricky situation though, especially since you said you don’t want to cause the new couple to break up. Assuming you are still friends with the object of your desires, perhaps it would be easier to somehow bring the topic up in conversation. However if you do not already have a good relationship with this person I think it would be best just to sit and wait. Not only do you run the risk of upsetting the person you wish to be with, you run the risk of upsetting the person they are with now, and the significant others don’t usually take to well to someone stepping into their territory.
Trust me, I know.
Heechul
Letter Three:
Heenim, the hottest of all.
How good is HanGeng in bed? Better than Siwon?
Curious.
P.S TMI is forbidden to my eyes.
Dear Curious,
Comparing Hangeng to Siwon is like comparing a ballet dancer to a thoroughbred stallion. A ballet dancer is smooth and graceful, and very very limber. A stallion is strong and powerful and all muscle between your thighs. Granted, sometimes ballet dancers do ride stallions, but you still can’t compare the two.
Hope that answered your question.
Heenim
Letter Four:
Dear Chullie,
My boyfriend is very strange (and has really weird fetishes) but I think he loves his pet turtle more than he loves me D:
P.S.
What do I do about his philtrum fetish ._.
From,
kiyeowoor ^^
Dear Boy Who Thinks He’s Not Being Obvious,
If you think he loves his pet turtle more than you, then you must not be doing much in bed at night… and I know that isn’t true because the walls are thin and so are the floors, and there are some nights when you certainly make a lot of noise. Turtles cannot make that sort of noise, so I’m sure you must be doing something right.
As for his other fetish, if you don’t like it, bite his fingers. While I’m sure he would enjoy being bitten as well, at least it would give him something else to think about.
Heechul
Letter Five:
Dear Heechul.
EunHae or Kihae?
I'm torn.
Yours,
hanchulismyotp
Dearest Hanchul lover,
If Hanchul is your OTP why are you even asking? Are you considering cheating on Hanchul!? How dare you! But if I have to answer, I say Kihae. Eunhae is overrated and overdone.
But what’s wrong with Kichul!?
Cinderella
Letter Six:
Dear almighty Heechul!
Hi it's me again! Hanchulismyotp...another question: Kyumin or Qmi ><
Hanchulismyotp
Hanchul-fan,
Kyumimin. Seriously. I have pictures to prove it.
Heechul
Letter Seven:
Dear Rella,
What would you do if your partner is as religious as Mr. Choi Siwon?
Love,
Not-so-religious.
Dear No-so-religious,
Invest in a good set of earplugs.
Cinderella
Letter Eight:
Dear Heechul,
I think I might be able to turn into a unicorn, I've had several dreams about it already, and I don't know what to tell my friends and family.... what should I do?
-Sunny The were-unicorn
Sunny,
I say don’t tell them a thing. But when you finally figure out how to switch when you’re not dreaming, make sure you have a camera ready, because I’m sure the picture of the look on their faces would earn you millions of dollars, though that would probably have to be spent on the medical bills for all of the heart attacks that followed.
Proceed with caution, but come to my next birthday party, as I’m sure Sungmin would be delighted.
Heechul.
Letter Nine:
Dear Heechul,
My very best MALE friend of the past few years or so made the mistake of trying to go out as a couple last year and had sex. While we are no longer a couple, we continue to have sex. But now he's started another relationship with someone recently and to my surprise we're still having sex. Their relationship is too new for me to even assess if they're serious and will last a few weeks. Do I stick around or get out of his pants while I still can?
Signed,
'the other woman' in the making
Dear Other Lady,
If he’s that good for it to keep going on so long, then no, don’t bother getting out of his pants. So long as you are comfortable with the situation, not wanting to run off and get married or anything, why rock the boat.
Sex is good for your health, and there’s nothing wrong with ensuring that you continue to be a healthy lady.
Heechul
Letter Ten:
Dear Heenim,
I met this really cool guy online, we've met up a few times, and he seems relatively normal and whatnot. But I have a bit of self esteem issues about my weight that he never seems to pick up and keeps taking me out to the beach/pool, to the mall where I'm forced to undress and try on clothing, and lots of other activities where I feel that he's just staring at my stomach. I'm unsure as to whether he's trying to show that he doesn't have an issue with my being overweight or if he's just trying to humiliate me before he dumps me for the tall and lanky lifeguard.
Very much in need of help,
tubby lover
Dear lover,
My dear Petal, you are not FORCED to do anything, unless he has a gun to your head, but if that’s the case you probably shouldn’t be dating him in the first place.
Don’t let your lack of self-esteem make you think you have to do whatever he wants whenever he wants just to make him happy. If you don’t want to do it or aren’t comfortable, just say no. If he fusses, then it just goes to show he’s not willing to be respectful towards you, and you need to let him go.
Guys aren’t known for being particularly sensitive to topics like this, so sometimes it becomes necessary to give us instructions, or sometimes simply smack us over the head. While going to the beach or going to the mall are fun things to do, guys aren’t known for being creative when it comes to dates or hanging out, we’ll do the same stuff over and over and over until someone tells us to stop. If you don’t like something, we probably won’t catch on until you tell us, and more often than not we’re quite open to suggestions.
Tell him what you like to do, show him the things that make you comfortable, and if he really does like you he’ll accept it, and if he doesn’t? Well frankly I think it’d be his loss.
I wish you the best of luck!
Heechul
I think this will be it for my column this week, my Petals. Ten is a good number, I think. Siwon has promised to take me shopping this afternoon, so in exchange for that I think I will let him answer next week’s letters (with my supervision of course). So if you have any questions for him, please send them here: Letters to Siwon
Pairing: None
Rating: G/PG
Length: 1635 words
Greetings, Petals! I’m so glad you all enjoyed the first edition of my column! I’m sure you all found the advice quite helpful. Several of the others are jealous that they don’t have their own column, but I had to explain to them that they are just not as cool as I am. I think I might be nice and let them have guest spots though, if they behave. I want to thank you again for submitting all of your questions, and I’m sure this week’s column will be just as helpful as the last.
Enjoy!
Letter One:
Dear Heechul,
My girlfriend has an identical twin, and when we got drunk at their birthday party, I think I slept with her twin, considering my girlfriend has no memory whatsoever of that unfaithful night.
I don't know how I could tell her what happen... any advice?
-Mr. Oblivion
Mr. Oblivion,
If you ‘think’ you slept with her twin, you don’t seem to have much memory of that night either. If it’s possible that her sister was that boring in bed, perhaps it would be best if you just left the situation alone. Girls tend to be rather cranky about things like this, so if you’re not careful you might find yourself being forced to downgrade from your current girlfriend two her sister, who’s performance was apparently not very memorable. Then again, perhaps the said event didn’t happen at all, I know I tend to have some rather vivid dreams sometimes when I’ve had too much soju.
If twin A (your girlfriend) doesn’t remember, and twin B (the sister) doesn’t bring it up, just keep your mouth shut, and don’t drink around the twins anymore, or at least make them wear big name tags so you can be sure you’re taking the right one home.
Heechul
Letter Two:
Dear Darling Heechul,
Is it wrong to tell someone you rejected in the past that you changed your mind and want to be with them, even though they've already moved on and are with someone else? I mean, I don't want to break the new couple up, but I want that person to know I'm still an option, if they would ever be interested in me again.
-Sincerely, Future-Homewrecker
Dear Homewrecker,
It depends on the reason you rejected them. If you told them they were uglier than a wart-covered toad, then went to the optometrist and got new glasses and discovered that they did not look toad-like at all, I don’t think your new confession would go over well. However, if they were rejected because you were not ready for a relationship, or if you were in another relationship at that time, I see nothing wrong with making that knowledge known.
You will be putting yourself in a tricky situation though, especially since you said you don’t want to cause the new couple to break up. Assuming you are still friends with the object of your desires, perhaps it would be easier to somehow bring the topic up in conversation. However if you do not already have a good relationship with this person I think it would be best just to sit and wait. Not only do you run the risk of upsetting the person you wish to be with, you run the risk of upsetting the person they are with now, and the significant others don’t usually take to well to someone stepping into their territory.
Trust me, I know.
Heechul
Letter Three:
Heenim, the hottest of all.
How good is HanGeng in bed? Better than Siwon?
Curious.
P.S TMI is forbidden to my eyes.
Dear Curious,
Comparing Hangeng to Siwon is like comparing a ballet dancer to a thoroughbred stallion. A ballet dancer is smooth and graceful, and very very limber. A stallion is strong and powerful and all muscle between your thighs. Granted, sometimes ballet dancers do ride stallions, but you still can’t compare the two.
Hope that answered your question.
Heenim
Letter Four:
Dear Chullie,
My boyfriend is very strange (and has really weird fetishes) but I think he loves his pet turtle more than he loves me D:
P.S.
What do I do about his philtrum fetish ._.
From,
kiyeowoor ^^
Dear Boy Who Thinks He’s Not Being Obvious,
If you think he loves his pet turtle more than you, then you must not be doing much in bed at night… and I know that isn’t true because the walls are thin and so are the floors, and there are some nights when you certainly make a lot of noise. Turtles cannot make that sort of noise, so I’m sure you must be doing something right.
As for his other fetish, if you don’t like it, bite his fingers. While I’m sure he would enjoy being bitten as well, at least it would give him something else to think about.
Heechul
Letter Five:
Dear Heechul.
EunHae or Kihae?
I'm torn.
Yours,
hanchulismyotp
Dearest Hanchul lover,
If Hanchul is your OTP why are you even asking? Are you considering cheating on Hanchul!? How dare you! But if I have to answer, I say Kihae. Eunhae is overrated and overdone.
But what’s wrong with Kichul!?
Cinderella
Letter Six:
Dear almighty Heechul!
Hi it's me again! Hanchulismyotp...another question: Kyumin or Qmi ><
Hanchulismyotp
Hanchul-fan,
Kyumimin. Seriously. I have pictures to prove it.
Heechul
Letter Seven:
Dear Rella,
What would you do if your partner is as religious as Mr. Choi Siwon?
Love,
Not-so-religious.
Dear No-so-religious,
Invest in a good set of earplugs.
Cinderella
Letter Eight:
Dear Heechul,
I think I might be able to turn into a unicorn, I've had several dreams about it already, and I don't know what to tell my friends and family.... what should I do?
-Sunny The were-unicorn
Sunny,
I say don’t tell them a thing. But when you finally figure out how to switch when you’re not dreaming, make sure you have a camera ready, because I’m sure the picture of the look on their faces would earn you millions of dollars, though that would probably have to be spent on the medical bills for all of the heart attacks that followed.
Proceed with caution, but come to my next birthday party, as I’m sure Sungmin would be delighted.
Heechul.
Letter Nine:
Dear Heechul,
My very best MALE friend of the past few years or so made the mistake of trying to go out as a couple last year and had sex. While we are no longer a couple, we continue to have sex. But now he's started another relationship with someone recently and to my surprise we're still having sex. Their relationship is too new for me to even assess if they're serious and will last a few weeks. Do I stick around or get out of his pants while I still can?
Signed,
'the other woman' in the making
Dear Other Lady,
If he’s that good for it to keep going on so long, then no, don’t bother getting out of his pants. So long as you are comfortable with the situation, not wanting to run off and get married or anything, why rock the boat.
Sex is good for your health, and there’s nothing wrong with ensuring that you continue to be a healthy lady.
Heechul
Letter Ten:
Dear Heenim,
I met this really cool guy online, we've met up a few times, and he seems relatively normal and whatnot. But I have a bit of self esteem issues about my weight that he never seems to pick up and keeps taking me out to the beach/pool, to the mall where I'm forced to undress and try on clothing, and lots of other activities where I feel that he's just staring at my stomach. I'm unsure as to whether he's trying to show that he doesn't have an issue with my being overweight or if he's just trying to humiliate me before he dumps me for the tall and lanky lifeguard.
Very much in need of help,
tubby lover
Dear lover,
My dear Petal, you are not FORCED to do anything, unless he has a gun to your head, but if that’s the case you probably shouldn’t be dating him in the first place.
Don’t let your lack of self-esteem make you think you have to do whatever he wants whenever he wants just to make him happy. If you don’t want to do it or aren’t comfortable, just say no. If he fusses, then it just goes to show he’s not willing to be respectful towards you, and you need to let him go.
Guys aren’t known for being particularly sensitive to topics like this, so sometimes it becomes necessary to give us instructions, or sometimes simply smack us over the head. While going to the beach or going to the mall are fun things to do, guys aren’t known for being creative when it comes to dates or hanging out, we’ll do the same stuff over and over and over until someone tells us to stop. If you don’t like something, we probably won’t catch on until you tell us, and more often than not we’re quite open to suggestions.
Tell him what you like to do, show him the things that make you comfortable, and if he really does like you he’ll accept it, and if he doesn’t? Well frankly I think it’d be his loss.
I wish you the best of luck!
Heechul
I think this will be it for my column this week, my Petals. Ten is a good number, I think. Siwon has promised to take me shopping this afternoon, so in exchange for that I think I will let him answer next week’s letters (with my supervision of course). So if you have any questions for him, please send them here: Letters to Siwon