(no subject)
AHHHHHHHHHHH
that is pretty much where it's at with a little crying tooo... i knew i didn't want to come home to face reality except i didn't think it would be so like this... one part of it i knew about but the other i didn't expect...
camp was amazing... i can't even tell you how many people i meet from all over and how close i became to a bunch of differnt people... i loved every moment of it even if i was put in the smallest bunk . i loved just putting my all into it my 100% even if i wasn't exhusted my campers told me they never saw it and il oved that... i loved visting day when some of my best friends from home showed up and spent the day there and the banana boat ride to top if off was so great.. i loved having them get to see my second home and why i love it so dearly and the people there who make it what it is... i wish i could have shown them more and introduced them to more but i was stuck in the bunk... and so far this summer has been amazing comming home i feel like i never left we are just nutz and fun like always...
but this whole transfering thing which i really want to do has gotten me down... i think i am not totally myself i think i noticedi t most today when i decided after we came back from the pool to sleep... i dunno if i am sick or exhusted or just down.. i can't tell if ia m acting differnt so if someone notices it pls tell me.. i know that this whole tranfering thing right now isn't hte only thing making me upset... the other thing is that i started going out w/ someone but after wends i haven't spoken to him and i am so confused as to why he hasn't called me back... i just want to understand it like what happened did i do something wrong? does he not want to be iwth me? did he get in trouble i just dunno and it's' driving me nutz and i am trying not to call him to let him call me but it's very hard to not do but i am doing it mostly cause my friends are helping me iwth it but i just wish i understood what was goin gon there.. and then i have another guy friend who isn't talking to me since i tol dhim i was going out w/ this boy and i love talking to him and i just wnat to talk to him and he won't answer his phone or my ims and then another boy who was my best friends hasn't spoken to me even when i call him since june and it's just hurting me alot to see this whne i dunno what i did to these people and i don't get it...
in terms of this tranfering tihng... i have no idea how my friends did it! i commend them... i am just not wanting to go back to IU for all different reasons and right now my mom thinks i should but i just would rather not... but if i go back i want to not be miss misreable bc then it will be even longer and my birthday will be there... but i am not happy there and i knew it and noticed it espically second semester... i had my fun moments but everyone came home and said omg i can't wait to go back and i sat there going i can i can definatly... it's far extremly far to me and i don't like it... it's big and i wish i had a smaller classroom size instead of having to go search my teachers out and hunt em down... i don't like that... and i don't love all the people but that would be the least of it... and yes as a joking thing they don't have DUNKIN... hehe... i dunno i just want to be closer to home and smaller i've decided and to be totally honest on the other hand well i only had two choices to choose from when i choose schools and this one was the better one of the two... so it's not like i had a choice of where i was going... but i guess that is where i'll leave ya and try ad i dunno what... but i'll figure it out...
that is pretty much where it's at with a little crying tooo... i knew i didn't want to come home to face reality except i didn't think it would be so like this... one part of it i knew about but the other i didn't expect...
camp was amazing... i can't even tell you how many people i meet from all over and how close i became to a bunch of differnt people... i loved every moment of it even if i was put in the smallest bunk . i loved just putting my all into it my 100% even if i wasn't exhusted my campers told me they never saw it and il oved that... i loved visting day when some of my best friends from home showed up and spent the day there and the banana boat ride to top if off was so great.. i loved having them get to see my second home and why i love it so dearly and the people there who make it what it is... i wish i could have shown them more and introduced them to more but i was stuck in the bunk... and so far this summer has been amazing comming home i feel like i never left we are just nutz and fun like always...
but this whole transfering thing which i really want to do has gotten me down... i think i am not totally myself i think i noticedi t most today when i decided after we came back from the pool to sleep... i dunno if i am sick or exhusted or just down.. i can't tell if ia m acting differnt so if someone notices it pls tell me.. i know that this whole tranfering thing right now isn't hte only thing making me upset... the other thing is that i started going out w/ someone but after wends i haven't spoken to him and i am so confused as to why he hasn't called me back... i just want to understand it like what happened did i do something wrong? does he not want to be iwth me? did he get in trouble i just dunno and it's' driving me nutz and i am trying not to call him to let him call me but it's very hard to not do but i am doing it mostly cause my friends are helping me iwth it but i just wish i understood what was goin gon there.. and then i have another guy friend who isn't talking to me since i tol dhim i was going out w/ this boy and i love talking to him and i just wnat to talk to him and he won't answer his phone or my ims and then another boy who was my best friends hasn't spoken to me even when i call him since june and it's just hurting me alot to see this whne i dunno what i did to these people and i don't get it...
in terms of this tranfering tihng... i have no idea how my friends did it! i commend them... i am just not wanting to go back to IU for all different reasons and right now my mom thinks i should but i just would rather not... but if i go back i want to not be miss misreable bc then it will be even longer and my birthday will be there... but i am not happy there and i knew it and noticed it espically second semester... i had my fun moments but everyone came home and said omg i can't wait to go back and i sat there going i can i can definatly... it's far extremly far to me and i don't like it... it's big and i wish i had a smaller classroom size instead of having to go search my teachers out and hunt em down... i don't like that... and i don't love all the people but that would be the least of it... and yes as a joking thing they don't have DUNKIN... hehe... i dunno i just want to be closer to home and smaller i've decided and to be totally honest on the other hand well i only had two choices to choose from when i choose schools and this one was the better one of the two... so it's not like i had a choice of where i was going... but i guess that is where i'll leave ya and try ad i dunno what... but i'll figure it out...