(no subject)
Can i just... shut off for awhile? Keep my conciousness from thinking? I kinda just want to sleep for a week.
Then i'll be ready.. wait what are those called? Vacations right. Except I can tell the vacations to come... are going to be homework filled.. without that real... Carefree type of spirit. Maybe i'll get all my work done first.. then bliss the rest of the break.
Put that aside. I'm just wasted. Nope not drunk, just exhausted... And i don't even know from what.
I just feel like i need a break. A hermit type of break. Or maybe with friends from afar. But otherwise i need a break from everything.
Sob, woe is me, I know i'm complaining. So why am i writing? But you have to ask yourself (if your reading) why are you reading this? Comment on why I'm curious also.
Simply put, one day i'll.. fly away? No, i'm just going to climb mountains, trying to reach the highest points in my mind. I'll meditate in the middle of the desert to find myself. I'll free myself from everything around me and just focus on letting thoughts go.
Meditation is sitting there, centering yourself, focus on your breath, and think, don't hold onto any though, negative or positive, you don't see anything as good or bad, you see them as only thoughts, and you let them pass. Everything is a thought, let it pass. Real meditation is eyes closed, lotus (or just indian style if u can't do full lotus) and simply letting things go. Without emotion, without any anger or sadness. Without even rejoicing for the good things. Just let it all go.
If you let good thoughts go with emotions, that only leads to the suffering of bad thoughts emotion. You can't attach emotion only to bad things, if you attach it to the good, you must attach it to the bad, but if you attach no emotion, everything drifts from you mind, leaving you clear. Leaving you at peace.
The point of meditation is not to become enlightened. Its purpose is different for everyone. If you explore this world of meditation, you will find uses for it. Letting steam off, solving problems in your life, or simply calming yourself down and focusing before doing an activity.
I remember whenever our family would go on a road trip,my dad would make us meditate for 2 minutes.
I remember god damn this is so long whaaaa, whining, not really understanding the beauty or purpose of meditation. So if you scoff when you hear meditation, i was there once too. but i challenge you.
Meditate for 30 minutes. Skip one of those stupid laguna beaches or w/e shit ur watch on TV that in no way matters in life, other than a waste of time. And sit and meditate. I bet you can't do it.(Fine Print: I bet you can't do it correctly)
Like most kids, we attach emotion to EVERYTHING, drama drama drama, its the flavor of the generation i know this. Emotion is connected to everything. Every action is connected to an emotion, and buddha would probably say, this is why you have so much suffering, moaning, and bitching (the last 2 adjectives were my little buddha inside my head) But none the less its true. If you can accept change and loss, then you wont suffer. If you can accept that billy doesn't like you anymore and he dumps you (change and loss) You can be sad, or you can accept it and be like ok, then ill move on.
Now i do not expect anyone to do this, because we all really like billy. But heres the concious choice you have to make, is being happy worth being sad? Are the delights in life really valued and weighted for the sufferings?
Buddists say no amount of happiness can drown out my sufferings. The buddist chooses not to suffer.
This is not a likely choice for ANYONE our age. And for many older people, because humans LIVE off our emotions. (BTW i'm not bashing anyone, i have emotions too, i'm simply explaining)
So i laugh EVERY time i hear some kid say, yeah i'm buddist. Yeah right.
I said i was buddist when i was in 6th grade, i didn't know SHIT about the teachings, i just knew the kindergarton story of Siddhartha. Thought, end of suffering.. COOL!! lets do it!
No i was no buddist, and i have yet to meet an actual buddist. Who accepts change and loss without emotion.
But back to the meditation... You have to appreciate the endurance, focus, and amazing will power of a person who can meditate. My dad used to go on a retreat every year until he got sick. It was for 10 days i believe.
It was some nature place, where all you did was meditate and eat. There was a big group that you meditated with. But otherwise you ate very little, fruits veggies, simple things. And you MEDITATE all day.
YOu can't write, you can't talk to anyone, you can't make eye conact you cannot communicate in anway.
Thats fucking amazing endurance, I wonder if i could do it. But i'm pretty sure no one i know could.
It makes me want to try... Thats not my idea of a vacation. but if i had a choice between that and school, i'd take that anyday
This life better be leading somewhere.
And wheres the leader?
Then i'll be ready.. wait what are those called? Vacations right. Except I can tell the vacations to come... are going to be homework filled.. without that real... Carefree type of spirit. Maybe i'll get all my work done first.. then bliss the rest of the break.
Put that aside. I'm just wasted. Nope not drunk, just exhausted... And i don't even know from what.
I just feel like i need a break. A hermit type of break. Or maybe with friends from afar. But otherwise i need a break from everything.
Sob, woe is me, I know i'm complaining. So why am i writing? But you have to ask yourself (if your reading) why are you reading this? Comment on why I'm curious also.
Simply put, one day i'll.. fly away? No, i'm just going to climb mountains, trying to reach the highest points in my mind. I'll meditate in the middle of the desert to find myself. I'll free myself from everything around me and just focus on letting thoughts go.
Meditation is sitting there, centering yourself, focus on your breath, and think, don't hold onto any though, negative or positive, you don't see anything as good or bad, you see them as only thoughts, and you let them pass. Everything is a thought, let it pass. Real meditation is eyes closed, lotus (or just indian style if u can't do full lotus) and simply letting things go. Without emotion, without any anger or sadness. Without even rejoicing for the good things. Just let it all go.
If you let good thoughts go with emotions, that only leads to the suffering of bad thoughts emotion. You can't attach emotion only to bad things, if you attach it to the good, you must attach it to the bad, but if you attach no emotion, everything drifts from you mind, leaving you clear. Leaving you at peace.
The point of meditation is not to become enlightened. Its purpose is different for everyone. If you explore this world of meditation, you will find uses for it. Letting steam off, solving problems in your life, or simply calming yourself down and focusing before doing an activity.
I remember whenever our family would go on a road trip,my dad would make us meditate for 2 minutes.
I remember god damn this is so long whaaaa, whining, not really understanding the beauty or purpose of meditation. So if you scoff when you hear meditation, i was there once too. but i challenge you.
Meditate for 30 minutes. Skip one of those stupid laguna beaches or w/e shit ur watch on TV that in no way matters in life, other than a waste of time. And sit and meditate. I bet you can't do it.(Fine Print: I bet you can't do it correctly)
Like most kids, we attach emotion to EVERYTHING, drama drama drama, its the flavor of the generation i know this. Emotion is connected to everything. Every action is connected to an emotion, and buddha would probably say, this is why you have so much suffering, moaning, and bitching (the last 2 adjectives were my little buddha inside my head) But none the less its true. If you can accept change and loss, then you wont suffer. If you can accept that billy doesn't like you anymore and he dumps you (change and loss) You can be sad, or you can accept it and be like ok, then ill move on.
Now i do not expect anyone to do this, because we all really like billy. But heres the concious choice you have to make, is being happy worth being sad? Are the delights in life really valued and weighted for the sufferings?
Buddists say no amount of happiness can drown out my sufferings. The buddist chooses not to suffer.
This is not a likely choice for ANYONE our age. And for many older people, because humans LIVE off our emotions. (BTW i'm not bashing anyone, i have emotions too, i'm simply explaining)
So i laugh EVERY time i hear some kid say, yeah i'm buddist. Yeah right.
I said i was buddist when i was in 6th grade, i didn't know SHIT about the teachings, i just knew the kindergarton story of Siddhartha. Thought, end of suffering.. COOL!! lets do it!
No i was no buddist, and i have yet to meet an actual buddist. Who accepts change and loss without emotion.
But back to the meditation... You have to appreciate the endurance, focus, and amazing will power of a person who can meditate. My dad used to go on a retreat every year until he got sick. It was for 10 days i believe.
It was some nature place, where all you did was meditate and eat. There was a big group that you meditated with. But otherwise you ate very little, fruits veggies, simple things. And you MEDITATE all day.
YOu can't write, you can't talk to anyone, you can't make eye conact you cannot communicate in anway.
Thats fucking amazing endurance, I wonder if i could do it. But i'm pretty sure no one i know could.
It makes me want to try... Thats not my idea of a vacation. but if i had a choice between that and school, i'd take that anyday
This life better be leading somewhere.
And wheres the leader?