(no subject)
I'm doing OK. I haven't cried much during the day since Saturday, mostly because I've tried to avoid thinking or talking about it. I've found that at night I can't help but think about it and thus I cry a lot, so last night I fell asleep with the TV on to distract me. I think I'll do that from now on, at least for a while. Mostly I just feel sad.
Thank you all for your prayers and for sharing your words of comfort, and especially those of you who shared that you know how it feels to have to put a beloved pet to sleep. It helps knowing you felt this same sadness. I probably won't respond to the comments individually because that would involve more thinking about it, but I read every single one as they poured into my inbox, and they helped.
Church yesterday was good. I received lots of hugs, kind words, and even some chocolate. We sang the hymn "Day by Day" and I had to stop singing a few times because I was trying not to cry. Fellowship group Saturday began with a long hug from a friend who just had to put her elderly dog to sleep last year. We both almost started crying. She said that was the worst day of her life. I understand that.
Even though thinking about her makes me sad, I can't bring myself to vacuum the dog hair off the carpet or throw away her decrepit blanket in the corner of the dining room, or even put her tug toy out of sight. It's like, even though I know she's gone, I feel like I can hang onto her a little while longer by leaving things as they are.
Some people have asked if we will get another dog. We absolutely will. We are dog people. I am, especially. I need a sweet dog in my life. And it won't be long until we get one. There is a mutt-shaped hole in our hearts now, and it hurts more empty than it will when it's refilled. The new dog won't fit perfectly, of course, because you can never replace a dog like Mandy, but filling it will help us. So - soon I hope to begin the next doggie chapter of my life - even if the last one will always be the best.
Thank you all for your prayers and for sharing your words of comfort, and especially those of you who shared that you know how it feels to have to put a beloved pet to sleep. It helps knowing you felt this same sadness. I probably won't respond to the comments individually because that would involve more thinking about it, but I read every single one as they poured into my inbox, and they helped.
Church yesterday was good. I received lots of hugs, kind words, and even some chocolate. We sang the hymn "Day by Day" and I had to stop singing a few times because I was trying not to cry. Fellowship group Saturday began with a long hug from a friend who just had to put her elderly dog to sleep last year. We both almost started crying. She said that was the worst day of her life. I understand that.
Even though thinking about her makes me sad, I can't bring myself to vacuum the dog hair off the carpet or throw away her decrepit blanket in the corner of the dining room, or even put her tug toy out of sight. It's like, even though I know she's gone, I feel like I can hang onto her a little while longer by leaving things as they are.
Some people have asked if we will get another dog. We absolutely will. We are dog people. I am, especially. I need a sweet dog in my life. And it won't be long until we get one. There is a mutt-shaped hole in our hearts now, and it hurts more empty than it will when it's refilled. The new dog won't fit perfectly, of course, because you can never replace a dog like Mandy, but filling it will help us. So - soon I hope to begin the next doggie chapter of my life - even if the last one will always be the best.